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The 86 rules of boozing

Jung

???
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http://www.moderndrunkardmagazine.com/issues/01-02/01_02_booze_rules.htm

Here are my favorites, in no particular order.

35. Learn to appreciate hangovers. If it was all good times every jackass would be doing it.
52. Your songs will come on as you're leaving the bar.
For you cheap bastards:
28. If you can't afford to tip, you can't afford to drink in a bar. Go to the liquor store.
Some (stupid) guys don't seem to get this one.
14. If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she refuses, she does not like you.
 

Billybob

Gimmie Pwnies
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21. Our parents were better drinkers than we are.

22. Never talk to someone in the restroom unless you're doing the same thing—urinating, waiting in line or washing your hands.

30. Never complain about the quality or brand of a free drink.

33. The only thing that tastes better than free liquor is stolen liquor.

55. If you think you might be slurring a little, then you are slurring a lot. If you think you are slurring a lot, then you are not speaking English.

56. Screaming, “Someone buy me a drink!” has never worked.

70. The patrons at your local bar are your extended family, your fathers and mothers, your brothers and sisters. Except you get to sleep with these sisters. And if you're really drunk, the mothers.

^^ my faves