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The Jamestown Story - Critique Wanted

Invader

Last Living Souls
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#1
I've been waiting and patiently praying, for this moment all my life
And I never, thought I'd ever, feel so glad to be alive...
I've spent so many years dreaming of this, I'm long overdue
And finally all my dreams are happening, in an ideal form of you...
Let's take this moment, squeeze it and hold it, for the rest of our lives,
then the time will never come to say goodbye...
I may not be perfect, but I'll always be there
Because I know you're worth it, you're the answer, to all of my prayers...


I wrote this a couple of days after getting back from a field trip with my school to Jamestown, North Carolina. There was a girl whom I never talked to and basically never even noticed in my grade. But, on the field trip I finally decided to talk to her, and I just felt like it was the perfect time in my life, so I decided to write this. Yes, we are still together and its been 1 year, but I just found this poem lying around in a box in my room and decided to write it on here. Shes the best thing that ever happened in my life.
 
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#2
WoW! that almost made me cry! it is happy in a sad kind of way. it made me feel like you had almost died but didnt. i thought when i started to read it that is would be about a shooting, but instead it is about a field trip. if you haddent told me that i would like it better i think. saying that made it seem a little deep for the subject.
 

dustinzgirl

Banned - What an Asshat!
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#3
I like it but I think it could be improved on, perhaps more descriptive statements...it just seems really short for the point you are trying to make. :)