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The Massive Dickhead (Flame Version)

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#1
I origininally posted this in 'Life Suck's' where many complained that they couldn't flame. I have gone to the liberty of doing so that you could. Enjoy. Be warned that this is a useless rant about my personal life, and it IS a waste of time to read this.

There's this fuck up in my class named Matt Mackensie.

I was his friend for about 3 weeks at the begining of the year. Then he pissed on a wall at recess, in the view of 20 other students. I then came to the conclusion that he was a fuck up, and I was right. He's the most annoying shit fucker in the world. He has only one friend, Devon, who's also my friend, but he's only his friend out of pity. And he's clearly losing his shit with Matt too.

The reason why everybody hates him is that he has no personality. All he can do is copy other people.

Example: My friend Saunders said 'Hey Pappi' in a perfectly executed tone of voice. So we thought it was funny. At the same time, we respected the fact that it was his joke. So what did Matt do? He attempted to say 'Hey Pappi' and failed brutally. We nearly killed him.

He's SO weak. Eddy, who is the shortest kid in our grade, destroyed Matt with two punches. Matt tried to give him too punchs, Eddy didn't flinch, and proceeded to giving him a concusion.

Matt also talks to himself. Seriously, I think it's cause he has no friends to talk to.

Example. Today during gym, I had to take a massive shit, so I did. When I got back, it took so long, that I was left in the change room with Matt alone, cause he's too womanish to change as fast as a normal person. He wears Long Johns for fuck sake. So in the change room, he clearly says 'Today was a pretty shitty day.' so instinctively, I said 'Shut up, Matt.' What does Matt say? "I wasn't talking to you." I asked who the fuck he was talking too, seeing as we were the only ones there. He ignored me, and went on.

Matt is overly imaginative, but in the gayest way possible.

Example:

Matt: If you tell me to shut up, 'I'll grab you thenillfuckyoufhjsfsdt
fsfkjf 20gage shotgunsd jhsfhjh hajfkhsjkhfj then grab a polevjkgkgngagjkgnjfkhgjfghthen you fall sjfksjgjkajgksjfgkjb get raped to deatghjfkjsfkjskdjfsteALjkjgkjgdkjgyourmomj jfskjflasjdl ipod.

Instead of bothering to listen to his shit, I just ignore him and shake my head in disaproval. Worse yet he's using this shitty style of imagination to write a story for a project. The basic storyline is that he kills everybody in the class room in some extremely faggy/republican/retarded/christian way. I can't wait to see the look on her face when she decides to send him to a therapist.

Seeing as I hate him the most, I take all the shit for everyone else since for some odd reason, despite the fact that he sucks at everything, our teacher loves him. And hates me, because I do my patriotic duty in trying to make my country better. She went as far as to let him get away with the best example of PLAGIARISM I've ever seen.

Basically we were supposed to make a story up, then put in a book format, then read it to the class. I made the best one, and Everybody agrees that this is true. Even our 60 year old bitch of a teacher. But I digress, he copied the EXACT beginning of Final Fantasy VII, word to word, from when Cloud is in the Reactor, to when he gets his paycheck. He made sure to be extra racist in this by stating all of the characters races as they appeared. All he did was rename the characters with people he thought were his 'friends'

Example:
Barret: Devon (And you had to feel sorry when Matt read out his name, as his face went to horror)
Tifa: Amanda, who is a girl 2 years younger than Matt, that he asked out, and then went on to destroy his self esteem seconds later. She may be young, but the girl can see future date rapes.

Now to enforce this, he SERIOUSLY plagiarised Final Fantasy VII. I mean this was word to word, movement to movement sort of thing. I've never stood by such literary unprofessionalism in my life. I listened to 4 year olds who made better stories then that shit, based on the fact that they actually made it.

So when me and my friends were releived from listening to it, we talked about how plagiaristic it was. Then the teacher 'caught us' despite the fact that we were simply exercising freedom of speech (and truth). Then she stuck up for the retard again because since she doesn't know what a video game is, she assumed he made a story based off X-men. So after that shit, we just laughed at the whole thing.

I'm sure there are more shitty things about Matt that we forgot to mention, but thats all I remember. The worst thing is that after all this shit, he still lives under the false impression that he has friends.

That's my rant.
 

Fire_ze_Missles

Martha Fuckin' Stewart
1,622
12
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#2
Wow; I think you are in love with matt. And want to have his babies. :thumbsup:
 

Captain 151

Seeped in a dry Merlot
4,261
4
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#3
Awesome! Good luck with your interview, and I hope the doctor says that everything is going to be ok! I didn't read your post at all!
 
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#4
It's normally no fun if you make a flame version after the thread seems to of died already...
 

LiberatioN

Trance Addict
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100
#6
WILD said:
It's normally no fun if you make a flame version after the thread seems to of died already...
Agreed. :thumbsup:

It's like makin fun of retarded kids:
You get a quick laugh and then everybody just thinks ur messed up.

In this case you'll get maybe one actual response and then it will die; whats the point?
 

YUCK FOU!!!

Critical Update Notification Tool.
6,588
2,430
337
#7
that was way to long for me to bother reading
 
#9
LiberatioN said:
In this case you'll get maybe one actual response and then it will die; whats the point?
I really felt like ranting.
 

dustinzgirl

Banned - What an Asshat!
26,094
191
0
#10
how old are you if you have recesses? I didnt have recesses after 5th grade.........

Just ignore the punk, or ass rape him, either way, you would win. welll....sorta
 

BakEd13

4:20 Celebrater
213
0
0
#11
I almost decided to actually respond to this blabbering you call a rant.. BTW, I'm not sure if there is a christian way to kill someone.. I'll be glad to help you find out though..
 
#12
Grade 8. We just have one 45 minute one. It's fucking hard to ignore him. He's the perfect example of annoyance. He now has no friends at all. He constantly has to say something retarded to the teachers.
 
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#13
MagicHobo said:
I origininally posted this in 'Life Suck's' where many complained that they couldn't flame. I have gone to the liberty of doing so that you could. Enjoy. Be warned that this is a useless rant about my personal life, and it IS a waste of time to read this.

There's this fuck up in my class named Matt Mackensie.

I was his friend for about 3 weeks at the begining of the year. Then he pissed on a wall at recess, in the view of 20 other students. I then came to the conclusion that he was a fuck up, and I was right. He's the most annoying shit fucker in the world. He has only one friend, Devon, who's also my friend, but he's only his friend out of pity. And he's clearly losing his shit with Matt too.

The reason why everybody hates him is that he has no personality. All he can do is copy other people.

Example: My friend Saunders said 'Hey Pappi' in a perfectly executed tone of voice. So we thought it was funny. At the same time, we respected the fact that it was his joke. So what did Matt do? He attempted to say 'Hey Pappi' and failed brutally. We nearly killed him.

He's SO weak. Eddy, who is the shortest kid in our grade, destroyed Matt with two punches. Matt tried to give him too punchs, Eddy didn't flinch, and proceeded to giving him a concusion.

Matt also talks to himself. Seriously, I think it's cause he has no friends to talk to.

Example. Today during gym, I had to take a massive shit, so I did. When I got back, it took so long, that I was left in the change room with Matt alone, cause he's too womanish to change as fast as a normal person. He wears Long Johns for fuck sake. So in the change room, he clearly says 'Today was a pretty shitty day.' so instinctively, I said 'Shut up, Matt.' What does Matt say? "I wasn't talking to you." I asked who the fuck he was talking too, seeing as we were the only ones there. He ignored me, and went on.

Matt is overly imaginative, but in the gayest way possible.

Example:

Matt: If you tell me to shut up, 'I'll grab you thenillfuckyoufhjsfsdt
fsfkjf 20gage shotgunsd jhsfhjh hajfkhsjkhfj then grab a polevjkgkgngagjkgnjfkhgjfghthen you fall sjfksjgjkajgksjfgkjb get raped to deatghjfkjsfkjskdjfsteALjkjgkjgdkjgyourmomj jfskjflasjdl ipod.

Instead of bothering to listen to his shit, I just ignore him and shake my head in disaproval. Worse yet he's using this shitty style of imagination to write a story for a project. The basic storyline is that he kills everybody in the class room in some extremely faggy/republican/retarded/christian way. I can't wait to see the look on her face when she decides to send him to a therapist.

Seeing as I hate him the most, I take all the shit for everyone else since for some odd reason, despite the fact that he sucks at everything, our teacher loves him. And hates me, because I do my patriotic duty in trying to make my country better. She went as far as to let him get away with the best example of PLAGIARISM I've ever seen.

Basically we were supposed to make a story up, then put in a book format, then read it to the class. I made the best one, and Everybody agrees that this is true. Even our 60 year old bitch of a teacher. But I digress, he copied the EXACT beginning of Final Fantasy VII, word to word, from when Cloud is in the Reactor, to when he gets his paycheck. He made sure to be extra racist in this by stating all of the characters races as they appeared. All he did was rename the characters with people he thought were his 'friends'

Example:
Barret: Devon (And you had to feel sorry when Matt read out his name, as his face went to horror)
Tifa: Amanda, who is a girl 2 years younger than Matt, that he asked out, and then went on to destroy his self esteem seconds later. She may be young, but the girl can see future date rapes.

Now to enforce this, he SERIOUSLY plagiarised Final Fantasy VII. I mean this was word to word, movement to movement sort of thing. I've never stood by such literary unprofessionalism in my life. I listened to 4 year olds who made better stories then that shit, based on the fact that they actually made it.

So when me and my friends were releived from listening to it, we talked about how plagiaristic it was. Then the teacher 'caught us' despite the fact that we were simply exercising freedom of speech (and truth). Then she stuck up for the retard again because since she doesn't know what a video game is, she assumed he made a story based off X-men. So after that shit, we just laughed at the whole thing.

I'm sure there are more shitty things about Matt that we forgot to mention, but thats all I remember. The worst thing is that after all this shit, he still lives under the false impression that he has friends.

That's my rant.
Don't read it :thumbsup: Just quote it!
 

Takkun

Anonymooo.
138
0
0
#14
BakEd13 said:
I almost decided to actually respond to this blabbering you call a rant.. BTW, I'm not sure if there is a christian way to kill someone.. I'll be glad to help you find out though..
It's called burning at the stake. Never heard of the Salem Witch Trials?
Watch the movie. The Crucible. There's child nudity. I'm sure you'll love it.
 

Descent

Hella Constipated
7,686
165
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#15
Damn...that was fascinating! And no, I'm not being sarcastic. I was seriously sucked in to that.

Anyway, here is the problem: The kid is an attention whore.

We had a kid in our school like that: Blake Dukakis. Everyone hated him, and he got beat up by random sixth graders on the bus. He would also always make a "HOOOUUUUGHHHHHH!" noise like a donkey when you would talk to him.

I hope Blake Googles his name and sees this shit ;).

The kid is just hooked on being the center of attention. I was like that for three months...I was smart enough to know it was bullshit.

Just give the kid some time...In high school, he will see the light.
 
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#17
damn that was way too fucking long, i didn't bother losing that minute of my life which i'm sure i'd never get back, whoever your trying to flame war with i'm sure feels hurt and is sorry for his thread :rolleyes: wait probably not. but this thread had meaning and is fully recongnized for its ummmmmmmm :confused: usefullness?
 
#18
I feel so broken that the only reason my thread has stayed alive was thanks to people complaining it was too fucking long.
 

Bibas

That's Illogical.
275
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#19
Well, you know - some of those people, really tried to read the whole piece, but just after few lines, it really gets fuckin' boring...you should have made a short version, like an essence of your entire manuscript.
 

dustinzgirl

Banned - What an Asshat!
26,094
191
0
#20
Bibas said:
Well, you know - some of those people, really tried to read the whole piece, but just after few lines, it really gets fuckin' boring...you should have made a short version, like an essence of your entire manuscript.
or he couod just stop posting crap.
 
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