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The Massive Dickhead

#1
There's this fuck up in my class named Matt Mackensie.

I was his friend for about 3 weeks at the begining of the year. Then he pissed on a wall at recess, in the view of 20 other students. I then came to the conclusion that he was a fuck up, and I was right. He's the most annoying shit fucker in the world. He has only one friend, Devon, who's also my friend, but he's only his friend out of pity. And he's clearly losing his shit with Matt too.

The reason why everybody hates him is that he has no personality. All he can do is copy other people.

Example: My friend Saunders said 'Hey Pappi' in a perfectly executed tone of voice. So we thought it was funny. At the same time, we respected the fact that it was his joke. So what did Matt do? He attempted to say 'Hey Pappi' and failed brutally. We nearly killed him.

He's SO weak. Eddy, who is the shortest kid in our grade, destroyed Matt with two punches. Matt tried to give him too punchs, Eddy didn't flinch, and proceeded to giving him a concusion.

Matt also talks to himself. Seriously, I think it's cause he has no friends to talk to.

Example. Today during gym, I had to take a massive shit, so I did. When I got back, it took so long, that I was left in the change room with Matt alone, cause he's too womanish to change as fast as a normal person. He wears Long Johns for fuck sake. So in the change room, he clearly says 'Today was a pretty shitty day.' so instinctively, I said 'Shut up, Matt.' What does Matt say? "I wasn't talking to you." I asked who the fuck he was talking too, seeing as we were the only ones there. He ignored me, and went on.

Matt is overly imaginative, but in the gayest way possible.

Example:

Matt: If you tell me to shut up, 'I'll grab you thenillfuckyoufhjsfsdt
fsfkjf 20gage shotgunsd jhsfhjh hajfkhsjkhfj then grab a polevjkgkgngagjkgnjfkhgjfghthen you fall sjfksjgjkajgksjfgkjb get raped to deatghjfkjsfkjskdjfsteALjkjgkjgdkjgyourmomj jfskjflasjdl ipod.

Instead of bothering to listen to his shit, I just ignore him and shake my head in disaproval. Worse yet he's using this shitty style of imagination to write a story for a project. The basic storyline is that he kills everybody in the class room in some extremely faggy/republican/retarded/christian way. I can't wait to see the look on her face when she decides to send him to a therapist.

Seeing as I hate him the most, I take all the shit for everyone else since for some odd reason, despite the fact that he sucks at everything, our teacher loves him. And hates me, because I do my patriotic duty in trying to make my country better. She went as far as to let him get away with the best example of PLAGIARISM I've ever seen.

Basically we were supposed to make a story up, then put in a book format, then read it to the class. I made the best one, and Everybody agrees that this is true. Even our 60 year old bitch of a teacher. But I digress, he copied the EXACT beginning of Final Fantasy VII, word to word, from when Cloud is in the Reactor, to when he gets his paycheck. He made sure to be extra racist in this by stating all of the characters races as they appeared. All he did was rename the characters with people he thought were his 'friends'

Example:
Barret: Devon (And you had to feel sorry when Matt read out his name, as his face went to horror)
Tifa: Amanda, who is a girl 2 years younger than Matt, that he asked out, and then went on to destroy his self esteem seconds later. She may be young, but the girl can see future date rapes.

Now to enforce this, he SERIOUSLY plagiarised Final Fantasy VII. I mean this was word to word, movement to movement sort of thing. I've never stood by such literary unprofessionalism in my life. I listened to 4 year olds who made better stories then that shit, based on the fact that they actually made it.

So when me and my friends were releived from listening to it, we talked about how plagiaristic it was. Then the teacher 'caught us' despite the fact that we were simply exercising freedom of speech (and truth). Then she stuck up for the retard again because since she doesn't know what a video game is, she assumed he made a story based off X-men. So after that shit, we just laughed at the whole thing.

I'm sure there are more shitty things about Matt that we forgot to mention, but thats all I remember. The worst thing is that after all this shit, he still lives under the false impression that he has friends.

That's my rant.
 
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#4
Tsk tsk... hating someone because he was wierd
Edit: and knowing that someone copied final fantasy VII is almost as bad as actually doing it
 
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#6
MagicHobo said:
Could you explain this more?
Playing final fantasy enough to know the plot well enough to know he was ripping it off makes you just a big a loser as he.
Edit: since I never noticed you before welcome...
 

ferengi

Yay fire!
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#8
MagicHobo said:
There's this fuck up in my class named Matt Mackensie.... (rest of pointless bullshit removed for the sake of brevity)
You say all those names as if we all know these people.
NEWS FLASH: WE DON'T KNOW THEM!! So what, pray tell, is the point of saying their names? Please, in the future, if you have something to say about specific people that only YOU know, save it for your 8th grade friends. One of them may actually care. :rolleyes:
 

mmm...cheese

Banned - What an Asshat!
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#9
MagicHobo said:
There's this fuck up in my class named Matt Mackensie.

. . .That's my rant.

Shut the fuck up and go apologize you shithead! If you know that he has no friends go talk to him or something. I used to be that exact same person! He probably feels so left out that he wants to go jump off of a bridge with me. . . I can't blame you that you did not pick this up. . . but for god's sake show some empathy! :thumbsdn:
 
#10
WILD said:
Playing final fantasy enough to know the plot well enough to know he was ripping it off makes you just a big a loser as he.
Edit: since I never noticed you before welcome...
You aren't part of my generation. To put in perspective for you, we realize our singers, shows and politicians suck so badly, we basically try to relive old gens, of PS ones and such. Therefore me knowing the plot of FFVII that well more than acceptable, it's incredulous and respectable. However disregarding it's beauty enough to plagiarise it is disgraceful. So get your head out of your huge gaping vagina, and learn that NERD has now established itself as a style, and an acceptable one.

Matt is a faggot. Talk to him for 5 minutes and you will realize this.
 
#11
ferengi74656 said:
You say all those names as if we all know these people.
NEWS FLASH: WE DON'T KNOW THEM!! So what, pray tell, is the point of saying their names? Please, in the future, if you have something to say about specific people that only YOU know, save it for your 8th grade friends. One of them may actually care. :rolleyes:
I use names for reference. It doesn't matter whether you care, the fact is I've releived myself of pent up anger. If you don't like my thread, go look at another one shithead. It's that simple.
 
#12
mmm...cheese said:
Shut the fuck up and go apologize you shithead! If you know that he has no friends go talk to him or something. I used to be that exact same person! He probably feels so left out that he wants to go jump off of a bridge with me. . . I can't blame you that you did not pick this up. . . but for god's sake show some empathy! :thumbsdn:
I've been waiting for him to kill himself. The teacher and the rest of the class can tell, and so can I, that he has very little self-esteem, and I guess he's walking down suicide lane. I could really give less of a shit. The teacher is the only one helping him. I only hope my plan doesn't backfire and he doesn't go a school shooting and kill me. Folks, this is how stereotypical and well understood the world is.
 

ferengi

Yay fire!
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#13
MagicHobo said:
I use names for reference. It doesn't matter whether you care, the fact is I've releived myself of pent up anger. If you don't like my thread, go look at another one shithead. It's that simple.
I will refrain from flaming you since this is the Life Sucks forum.
However, be warned: should you ever venture into Bait&Tackle, I won't be so generous. :mfinger:
 
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#14
MagicHobo said:
*ThinkiYou aren't part of my generation. To put in perspective for you, we realize our singers, shows and politicians suck so badly, we basically try to relive old gens, of PS ones and such. Therefore me knowing the plot of FFVII that well more than acceptable, it's incredulous and respectable. However disregarding it's beauty enough to plagiarise it is disgraceful. So get your head out of your huge gaping vagina, and learn that NERD has now established itself as a style, and an acceptable one.

Matt is a faggot. Talk to him for 5 minutes and you will realize this.
Hmmm... tough talking lil e-punk with the vagina comment, I'm not even gonna bother replying to that part but I'll mention it first...

Stop trying to sound like its some kind of statement to play video games, you are shutting out reality and replacing it with something false, it isn't healthy. Everybody has problems... face em.

Now to reply to you calling the kid a 'faggot' and picking on him and such, I seriously hope this kid turns the tables in highschool. Who are you to decided that there is something wrong with him, hes another fucking human being he doesn't deserve to catch shit just for being who he is, don't be a fucker. He deserves to be cared about as much as you.

Note for future reference: First: I'm only two years older than you, there is not a serious generation gap, there are people my age that acted just like you did at some point,... just a difference in levels of maturity is the only real difference(In some cases not all) so drop the generation shit.

Edit: Dang I tried not to come off like a flame but oh well...
 
#15
WILD said:
Hmmm... tough talking lil e-punk with the vagina comment, I'm not even gonna bother replying to that part but I'll mention it first...

Stop trying to sound like its some kind of statement to play video games, you are shutting out reality and replacing it with something false, it isn't healthy. Everybody has problems... face em.

Now to reply to you calling the kid a 'faggot' and picking on him and such, I seriously hope this kid turns the tables in highschool. Who are you to decided that there is something wrong with him, hes another fucking human being he doesn't deserve to catch shit just for being who he is, don't be a fucker. He deserves to be cared about as much as you.

Note for future reference: First: I'm only two years older than you, there is not a serious generation gap, there are people my age that acted just like you did at some point,... just a difference in levels of maturity is the only real difference(In some cases not all) so drop the generation shit.
You don't know much about video games. Ok, maybe generations aren't the real thing here. Maybe you're a different person. Quite Well.

However simply to please my own ignorant urges, I will tell everyone that Matt does not deserve respect or love. In this world if you can't take the shit, crumble under the pressure and become a suicide headline.
 
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#16
MagicHobo said:
You don't know much about video games. Ok, maybe generations aren't the real thing here. Maybe you're a different person. Quite Well.

However simply to please my own ignorant urges, I will tell everyone that Matt does not deserve respect or love. In this world if you can't take the shit, crumble under the pressure and become a suicide headline.
Just one question, why persay(sp?) does he not deserve respect or love?