I got a joke on the bull frog
A couple want to buy a pet, so she sends his husband to the pet shop to get one. They're all too expensive, and the guy's broke, so the shopkeeper tries to sell a bull frog to this guy for $100 and says "it might be ugly, but it's a good fellow, it can tell a funny jokes and gives amazing blowjobs".
The guy replies "well $100 seem fair, and it's ok he's a good fellow but... who cares about blowjobs?"
"Believe me, it's awesome" says the shopkeeper "but I don't care!" "ok take this bull frog for 50 bucks and enjoy your blowjobs" "I'll take it, better than nothing, but it's not for the blowjobs" the guy insists.
Back home, the shows the bull frog to his wife, and she totally dislikes it "what's this ugly thing? I told you I wanted a furry pet like a dog or a cat" "but honey, they were all too expensive... the shopkeeper told me it's a good fellow and know a lot of jokes, and it costed only $50" "ok" she says "let's keep this ugly thing".
They day pass, and they're both happy with the fellow bull frog, dinners with friends, it tells joke and everyone's cool with it.
One day, wife comes home from work and finds his husband sitting at the kitchen's table with a really serious expression in his face, the bull frog standing on a stool at the stove, wearing an apron, cooking.
"What the hell is going on here?" shouts the wife. The husband responds calmly "if the bull frog will learn how to iron clothes, pack your shit up and gtfo".
I got a joke on the bullfrog too
A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?" The bartender considers it, and then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues. After the man finished his drink, he asked the bartender, "If I show you an even better trick, will you give me free drinks for the rest of the evening?" The bartender agrees, thinking that no trick could possibly be better than the first. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues. The man reaches into another pocket and pulls out a small bullfrog, which begins to sing along with the rat's music. While the man is enjoying his free drinks, a stranger confronts him and offers him $400 for the bullfrog. "Sorry," the man replies, "he's not for sale." The stranger increases the offer to $500 cash up front. "No," he insists, "he's not for sale." The stranger again increases the offer, this time to $700 cash. The man finally agrees, and turns the frog over to the stranger in exchange for the money. "Are you insane?" the bartender demanded. "That frog could have been worth millions to you, and you let him go for a mere $700" "Don't worry about it." the man answered. "The frog was really nothing special. You see, the rat's a ventriloquist."
My friends parrot flew away yesterday, was out all night looking for her but I had her down as killed by seagulls .. she was found by parrot rescue at the train station, about a mile away being attacked by seagulls but she is okay!
This is our Pomeranian, Sheena. She's a cuddly little furball who loves the outdoors. She also loves to cool down, so bath time is never an issue for her. This results to endless fun times in herdog bath tub. She also loves to play catch, another reason why we bring along her squeaky toys in our trips, the kids love playing with her as well. We raised her ever since she was a pup and will always be a part of our family.
Two months ago I caught another salamander sitting under my garage door, right where I was about to drive. At first I was only going to keep it a couple days, but then it got really cold outside and snowed. I figured it would freeze to death if I put it back outside. A couple days after catching it, I caught a fly in my house and gave it to the salamander which I named "Silly", because it kept trying to swim in place. Silly apparently ate the fly, but when I caught a second fly a couple days later, Silly never touched it. Perhaps Silly was full from the first fly. A month later I gave Silly a couple, small pieces of tuna fish, but again, Silly did not eat them. Today, I found Silly had died.