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The Poo thread.

BrIONwoshMunky

EVERYBODY LOVE EVERYBODY!
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#1
I searched for and couldn't find something like this, so here I go.

Ok fellas. Men are proud of their poops. Tis a fact. Thus while explaining to buddies the nature and happenings of our fecal flingings, I have invented some poobrevations.

The Ghost: You grunt groan and hear the splash, but when you look down as you flush... there's nothing there!

The Rope: It comes out nicely, and coils around the bowl like a rope. Note: Haveing a plunger handy can help you to chop this one up if need be.

The Green Meanie: This one is accompanied by a smell that could kill a rhino. The neon green matter could easily light the room if left unflushed. Double flush to be sure.

Unexploded Ordinance: This one looks like a regular ole butt nugget, until you flush, then it disinegrates and colors all the bowl water brown as it goes down. Note: This poo is particularly dangerous to flush in one of those commercial toilets that go KAAA WOOOSH instead of going GURGLE GURGLE FAAALUNNNK. The extreme velocity of the water can cause a litteral explosion of poo out of the toilet.

Fruity Pebbles: This poo is rather assymetrical in it's shape and consistancy, but can be easily recognized by it's multi colored display. Colors usually range from pale yellow to dark brown. Lysol is a must for this one.


Do you have any names for your difinitive poo's?

EDIT: Taylor took the wind out of my sails by saying he's seen this done on a poster before. I apologize for having an idea that, while spawned of my own mind, was unoriginal. May God have mercy on my soul. :thumbsdn:
 
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#2
BrIONwoshMunky said:
EDIT: Taylor took the wind out of my sails by saying he's seen this done on a poster before. I apologize for having an idea that, while spawned of my own mind, was unoriginal. May God have mercy on my soul. :thumbsdn:

Last edited by BrIONwoshMunky : Today at 03:18 AM. Reason: Taylor and his self-righteous know-it-all-ness
LMFAO! sorry. :(

The Mean-Green-Screamer: Tuff to squeeze out, light green in color, and big enough to eat your cat. Grab your reading materials, and prepare to be occupied for the majority of the day. When you finally finish, your ass will be soar, and you shall be twenty pounds lighter.
 

BrIONwoshMunky

EVERYBODY LOVE EVERYBODY!
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#3
I forgot.

Cream Cheese: This poo is rather pasty in consistancy, thus making it quite difficult to remove all residue with only one application of toilet paper. Subsequent applications of the buthole buffing material help to dissipate most of the nasty, but an immediate shower is needed to successfully cleanse and disinfect the area before repantsing. Double and Triple flushing is almost always required, as is an extra roll of toilet paper.
 

MaxPower

You're my number two
Staff
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#4
Mississippi Mud - Really loose. Anyone familiar with the Mud in Mississippi in the spring time, knows what this is. It comes out with the consistency of soft serve ice-cream, and accumulates.


Bowl Coater - This is looser than Mississippi Mud, it's actually liquid. Often the result of drinking water in Mexico. It gushes like an inverted geyser, in a disarrayed spray pattern. It's also known as Projectile shitting. This form of colonic-evacuation is such that the whole surface of the inside of the bowl is coated in a thin film of sludge.
 

gehtfuct

HuGE
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#5
The JohnnyK Power Wash: This one is a real pain in the ass. It's the one that leaves you doubled over racing to the shithouse. Once throned, a violent eruption occurs splashing water and covering the exposed ass. From then on, it does nothing more but spit and sputter. Usually needing three miles of shitpaper for the clean up.


Let's not forgeht about The Ol' Fireball. Anyone who's had way too much spice know's of this rectal suicide. :bomb:
 

CopyLifted

Funnier than a 5th grader
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#6
The question mark - This one is really odd and is hard to explain how it happened. The name implies what it looks like in the toilet. It's quit funny really, because when you see the question mark it leaves you with this face.... :confused:

It may not be a common thing, but when I was a weee bitty lad, this actually happened. It left a lasting impression in my mind. I can't explain it. :happysad:
 

magnolia

Postaholic
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#7
The baseball: This is when you feel like you really have to take a poo, so you sit down and it takes a bit to get it out and once u're done it resembles a baseball in both shape and size. It's also extremely painful after the fact.

The Plunger: named this because no matter how many times you flush, you are going to need the plunger. It's a massive shit that takes up the whole toilet and sometimes even wraps around the toilet bowl.

Backfire: This is a poop that is accompanied by a lot of loud explosive erruption of gas. It's often embarrasing when done in a public rest room.

The stink bomb: This is the kind of poop that when you leave the room and turn on the fan, you will still hear about the pungent stench a half hour later from the next person to use the restroom.
 

Descent

Hella Constipated
7,686
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#8
BrIONwoshMunky said:
I searched for and couldn't find something like this, so here I go.

Ok fellas. Men are proud of their poops. Tis a fact. Thus while explaining to buddies the nature and happenings of our fecal flingings, I have invented some poobrevations.

The Ghost: You grunt groan and hear the splash, but when you look down as you flush... there's nothing there!

The Rope: It comes out nicely, and coils around the bowl like a rope. Note: Haveing a plunger handy can help you to chop this one up if need be.

The Green Meanie: This one is accompanied by a smell that could kill a rhino. The neon green matter could easily light the room if left unflushed. Double flush to be sure.

Unexploded Ordinance: This one looks like a regular ole butt nugget, until you flush, then it disinegrates and colors all the bowl water brown as it goes down. Note: This poo is particularly dangerous to flush in one of those commercial toilets that go KAAA WOOOSH instead of going GURGLE GURGLE FAAALUNNNK. The extreme velocity of the water can cause a litteral explosion of poo out of the toilet.

Fruity Pebbles: This poo is rather assymetrical in it's shape and consistancy, but can be easily recognized by it's multi colored display. Colors usually range from pale yellow to dark brown. Lysol is a must for this one.


Do you have any names for your difinitive poo's?

EDIT: Taylor took the wind out of my sails by saying he's seen this done on a poster before. I apologize for having an idea that, while spawned of my own mind, was unoriginal. May God have mercy on my soul. :thumbsdn:
The "I'll put it off" poo. The fucking heap of shit so watery and gassy that only viral infections could cause it.

Why is it called the "I'll put it off" poo?

Well, while on the toilet, you can read all of Harry Potter #6 (GET IT? HAIRY POT-ER LOL!), beat that RPG game you were putting off in one sitting, as well as thumb through a full issue of penthouse.

This turd is best accompanied by a pillow, penis pump, kleenex and lots of double "A" batteries.
 

dustinzgirl

Banned - What an Asshat!
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#9
I hate to ask Descent, what are the batteries for?

Curiosity killed the cat. In the case of this thread, it made me want to barf.
 

Billybob

Gimmie Pwnies
Premium
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#11
I think she meant descent. his avaitar looks like a lot like rage's.

 

dustinzgirl

Banned - What an Asshat!
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#12
gehtfuct said:
Rage? ^^
Are you naming your poo now?
I meant descent. no I dont name my poopies. Im a girl I do not poop. or fart. thats why I bitch so much, or I would explode.
 
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#13
besides the fact this thread is quite gross, the laugh factor was high :thumbsup: although i have to agree with DG, girls don't poop :rolleyes:
hehehe w/e anyhoo, i love the after a night of gettin drunk on fruity drinks, the morning poo is GREAT! i always wanna play jonny cashes- ring of fire :rolleyes:
the only thing about shitting that i can't get is how guys can read while doing it! whe i poo i'm in there with a purpose! i concentrate like no bodies business, i stare at the wall and get shit done :happysad: pun intended!
 

gehtfuct

HuGE
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#14
Yeah. That just craps it out for me. I've always had the buttassed nekkid vision of DG and Nymph collectively 'stewing' in my head. Butt the pair of them pinching off something that a stray dog would gladly lap up is just making things flacid for me. Sexy women discussing...*!*...FUCK! I think the dog just farted and then bolted from the room! Jesus!....Anyhoo. Women talking about taking a greasy DUMP just kills the flavor.
 
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#15
why just me and DG huh huh! mag posted too! damn geht! you and your tunnel vission. i'm still sexy where it counts, besides pooing keeps me thin, thats why i eat laxitives like no ones business :thumbsup:
 

Descent

Hella Constipated
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#16
The Jesus poop - the poop that comes out perfectly, like a knife going through butter, and needs no wiping.

Oh, and Dustinzgirl, the batteries are there in case your handheld game gives out, but if you must they function quite well as shock dildo's with a transformer.

Also, in case you are wondering, my avatar is an Andy Warhol Che Guevara style painting of Brian Peppers. I made in in Irfanview and Paint on my laptop. I saved the original Brian Peppers image as a 1-Bit BMP file so it was pure black and white, then resaved it as a 24-bit color BMP file and colored it. I downsized it for you guys using IrfanView.
 

magnolia

Postaholic
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#17
Descent said:
The Jesus poop - the poop that comes out perfectly, like a knife going through butter, and needs no wiping.

Oh, and Dustinzgirl, the batteries are there in case your handheld game gives out, but if you must they function quite well as shock dildo's with a transformer.

Also, in case you are wondering, my avatar is an Andy Warhol Che Guevara style painting of Brian Peppers. I made in in Irfanview and Paint on my laptop. I saved the original Brian Peppers image as a 1-Bit BMP file so it was pure black and white, then resaved it as a 24-bit color BMP file and colored it. I downsized it for you guys using IrfanView.
Well, it's freaky.

The corn cob poop. This is a poop that has so much corn in it from the night before that it looks like a whole cob of corn.
 

wocka

Clitpickle
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#18
The Dirt Jump- after rushing to the bathroom and sitting down a mud slide comes out of ur ass like a faucet. when ur done there is a little dirt mound left in the bottom of the toilet and u then can take a fingerboard and launch off it.
 

icka

fuckoffanddiekthx!
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#19
the corn on the cob

ate corn the day before? your poop can tell!
i hope this wasnt done i dont feel like reading through the entire thread.