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The River's End

_Kitana_

Angel of Death
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#1
(A story I am writing... no where near done...let me know what you think of it... is this for an opening to boring)


A soft breeze of enchanted magic blew over her and she knew she had found it. She stood at the River’s End, a mystical place where many warriors have gone before her to bathe and wash away their sins of battle. Her eyes seem to almost widen as she watched the tender water fall violently over the cliff into the pool that laid below, lightly taking her breath away. Her gaze then followed the edge of the water to see lush soft green grass, Emerald color with a tint of scarlet. Tiny gorgeous little white flowers tipped in a brilliant ruby color, that sparkled in even the shadows, seemed to be sprinkled across the ground. At the edge of the grass were trees, giant trees bigger then a dragon, that circled around it hiding it from the view of strangers. Many knew of this place, but few could take you here. A thousand years of tradition and blood bound it to secret, only those deemed worthy enough would ever find it.

She laid her gear and sword upon the ground and started to undo the chains and buckles of her armor removing each blood stained piece until she was completely nude to the word. It was in times like these she felt most vulnerable and in any other place she would of bathe with at least her chain mil on.

She bent down to her pack to remove a long flowing white piece of fabric attached to a metal hoop that fasted around her belly and a small seed. It was tradition for woman to have at least some part of the body covered up when bathing outside and though she was not like a normal woman, she still followed the tradition of them. With that she unbound her long black hair allowing it to gently tumble down her back as she gracefully stepped upon the shore of the water .

The water was crystal clear all but the small circle of scarlet ripples from under her feet as she continued to walk across it with colorful lilies that floated around her. Finally she stood in the middle of the pool and slowly extended her beautiful slim hand out that held the tiny glowing seed.

Her dark blue eyes gently flowed to the edge of the water where the shadows lay and there she seen it, at first just a small sparkle of color. It was so diminutive that one would almost pass it by if not for its beautiful metallic wings and lovely, soft whispering voice that sang to the rhythmic notes of its wings. Which each beat of the wings… the wind would carry their chimes and a soft beautiful voice of ancient elfish words spilled around you. Of course they would sing even better for a small price… a rare seed of a plant from a foreign land, flowers being their favorite and in her hand she held one of the rarest.

A Blue Winter Rose. It was ice blue in color with a frosty white tip and from it small crystal of snowflakes would fall. Even its steam was a blue green color and when the sun rose above it would sparkle greater then any diamond. It once bloomed vastly in every valley of every mountain… but the Human Queen, Eldora, wanted them for her wedding and solely for her wedding. For she was far to great for anyone else so common to have them for theirs or for their eyes even to look upon it. So she had them plucked from every field and mountain top until there was none to be seen… but a few glowing seeds passed that of the human’s misguided eyes and they where spared for those who adventured far enough to find them.

The small pixie had a greedy gleam across her soft child like face as she stood proudly by it. Her brightly colored butterfly wings stretched out as she slowly lifted it up into the air while sing a few words that made no sense anyone else but other pixies… with that a group of sparkles came into sight and carried the seed off.

“You bring such a rare seed for us….what is it that you seek?” the pixie asked.

“ I am seek to have my soul be replenish,” she lowered her eyes… “for the stains of blood to be lifted off my sword and my hands forever clean,” her voice sounded so sad that one would almost think she could cry.

“If only sorrows where dreams….one could cast them away….” The pixie said with a half giggle “You are not a normal elfish woman are you…. No a warrior of enchanted magic, with beauty well beyond your years and yet you fall with such heavy sadness…. Your soul I can replenish…the stains upon your sword I can wash away… but the sins upon your hands… are forever yours.”

Then it was all like a dream to her. She danced playfully on top of the bitter sweet water as the wind and waves swirled around her to the call of the gentle music. Her hands glisten with a light sapphire aura of magic as it dripped from her finger tips. It was almost as if she was a child again and nothing in the world matter to her.
 

_Kitana_

Angel of Death
4,674
46
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#2
Though nothing last forever and she awoke upon the lush green grass half dazed from her dreamy thoughts. She felt like a heavy weight had been lifted off her shoulders and that’s when she realized she was not in her armor. Instead her beautiful skin was covered in tiny crystal of pixie dust and a light soft silk dress lay over her body. It tied around her neck in a halter top style as the bottom part of it flowed over the ground and upon her feet laid soft sandals. Her long beautiful black hair was interlaced with small flowers and braids. She look surreal in such simple beauty. Upon her forehead a silver chain with a beautiful jewel dangling from it rested.

She found where her midnight jade sword once laid a staff of glowing beauty. Its wood now carved with words of the pixie, as sharp thorns curled around it with stunning little roses. It fit her hands perfectly as she wrapped her fingers around it, feeling its magical power over whelm her. Gleaming on top of the staff it held a small white gem that glowed in a pale blood red color as tiny glowing sparkles of light fell from it like miniature snowflakes.

“Wow,” her lips murmured as her eyes fixed on it unaware of anything else around her. Unaware of the small glowing light standing by her feet or the small flower of lifeless beauty now crushed upon the ground. She was amazed at how well the weapon seemed to fit her, how light it was compared to her heavy sword…

“Hmm…” said a small voice that seemed to come out of nowhere. It startled her so bad that she spun around wielding her weapon and thrusting it into blank air with such force that it flung her forward. She suddenly heard it again, this time only a laughter she listened careful and then looked down to see at her feet a small pixie.

“You always so egger for the next battle, the next fight and yet you can not defeat a small pixie, such as myself .” Her voice turned more serious, “but how you can crush a thing of such delicate beauty a small flower so small you did not take notice to its life… What Shame… How ungrateful!”

She looked down to see it crushed under her sandals. The pixie was right she had not noticed it at all. She thought for a moment to find words of which to apologize with, but atlas there was none to be had. “You only take from this place that is which is yours or had been offered to you, all else must remain the same or you pay a price.” she thought to herself

“I am deeply sorry for the life of this flower… I offer my blood ,” she softly whispered to the Pixie as she bent down lifting up her dress to find the knife still strapped to her leg. “This is my price I shall pay.”

“Pfft…It is easy for you to give up droplets of your blood, you have done so in a thousand battles High Elf. I want something more, Much MORE!” The pixie voice was much deeper and greedier sounding. It had a tint of evil held with in a child's voice.

“Well, Pixie… What is that you seek from me if not my blood, my life.”

“PIXIE” She flung her arms on her hips as her wings fluttered an angry motion, “I have a Name!”

“Forgive me, I meant no disrespect to one of such elegant beauty… I’m sure you have a name quite fitting. “ With those words she faded into a magical swirl of sparkling air and smoke appearing in the form of pixie herself. Being the same size she could now see the full beauty of these wonderful Creature. Her long soft hair that spiraled down her back following her sleek slender body and gentle earth tone skin, but above all her beauty was her violet eyes that glistened even in the dark night time air.

“An enchanter I see… BLAH! A bag of cheap tricks I see you are, but you seek my name and I shall tell it to you… My name is Casta…DarkSpirt”

“Well Lady Darkspirt, what is it you seek from me?”

“" I do not seek your blood, one day I shall seek your life, One day you shall trade me your life for that of the small flower... This you shall promise me." Casta never waited for an answer to return instead she just flutter her long wings and started to fly off.

“Ww…wha… WAIT!” she begin to flutter her false wings and left off the ground very clumsy.

“Follow if you can fly, I have much to show you… MUCH!” Casta voice faded as she begin to fly faster and headed deep into the shadows, she gracefully zinged around trees and stumps. Her beautiful wings leaving only a small trail of faint dust behind.

“I can do this…” She beat her wings harder desperately struggling to keep up . It was so dark though all she could see was a light growing dimmer and a fading path of pixie dust, an outline of object she barely missed. She begin to get the hang of flying though and with that she beat her wings harder and harder… faster and faster…she was going so fast she could barely control herself. Suddenly the light started growing closer and closer and she tried to slow down and stop but it was to late… “THUMP!”

“OWE, you stupid High elf!” Casta shouted as they both went tumbling down the hill into the murky pool of water that laid below.

“LOOK AT ME!” Casta shouted! “ and we are to appear before the Soul Seeker like this! But I see you still look just as Lovely” There was a bet of childish jealous in her voice now.

“You however Lady Darkspirt still look gorgeous…but who is this Soul Seeker and where are my weapons and more importantly, Where are we? “

“All things in there time, you have much to learn… the Soul Seeker holds your answer” With that Casta said no more words and opened her small hand that held a tiny bit of soil. She cuffed her hands together and placed them next to her lips and whispered some inaudible words that scattered the dust across the ground. With that she stretched her right hand over the ground taking a small half step forward and from the Earthy ground arose a field of flowers that drove away the mystic shadows hiding it from the view of strangers.

They stood before great white steps that lead to a tall strong silver gates with tiny vines of flower that looked like little purple bells twisted up around the bars. On either side of the gate stood two guardsmen, their wings not quite as colorful as their female counterparts but still just as stunning, they wore a cloak of dark blue and held great white staffs with a cobalt crystal mounted on top. Both of the men looked strong and powerful with a very natural hansom beauty about them.

Her eyes seemed to move rapidly back an forth as she tried to take in all the beauty that laid before her, everything was new and unseen mystic… of all the places she had traveled this was by far the most beautiful and she wonder how many before her had walked these steps to the illusive Pixie City, Shebelle. They climbed the massive steps in a hurried rush, she had just enough time to look down and see the steps where not sold marble has she had thought but they were clear glass with water underneath and small fish swam about.

“Amazing…” she whispered into the air stopping for just a second to see them. Casta never responded or even stop to take noticed she just hurried up the steps and stopped to say something to the guards. Once in the city she could see small flowers blooming about, lush rich emerald grass… beautiful huts that lay a rest on the leafs and petals of the flower, small bridges vine like bridges connected the buildings together and steps that spiraled up the steams. There was an enchanting music to the hustle and bustle of the streets and a rich waterfall fell behind what look to be a white rose castle as the water ran down the main street made of glass.

The smell of sweet flowers mixed with fresh bread taunted at her sense making her lips hunger a bit. As small pixie children danced and flew about as their parents were hurrying about. Everything was so stunning and for one who was use to the vulgar blood colored world of war, it was almost overwhelming sense of perfect ness.

“This way..” Casta shouted as she lifted up off the ground and flew towards the castle. The castle was covered in pixie dust and had jewels and silver that swirled with in the bluish white stone of the steps. It had an unusual shape as it twisted up around a huge single white rose. On each thorn of the rose laid a small tower that held a room and two guards men on it… on the leafs lay bigger chambers that seemed to magical rest upon it. Everything stayed in placed and was linked together by tiny little vines with colorful flowers on them.

When they reached the top of the rose a small hallway ran in-between the petals. They followed it all the way into the middle of the rose where a large room with marble tiles laid and white stoned wash walls. It had a very simple calmness about.

As she walked up the middle of the room she could see small pixie to either side of her. Each one looked as if they where in a dreamlike state and almost reminder her of when she use to pray in the cathedral in her home city. To many years have sense passed for her to find strength or reason to pray anymore.

She finally reached the front of the room and there sat two steps that lead up to what appeared to be a stage. A silver pixie carved handrail ran the length of the stage from either side both meeting on one side of the steps and following them down an a strange spiraling vine and at the end of the each railing was a wonderful rose carved and tipped in gold. Right in the middle of the stage rested two thrones made out of rich cherry wood, with deep purple velvet. In true pixie fashion they where both adorned with flowers.

Suddenly from the back came a sweet ghostly song, small and quite at first like a whisper upon deaf ears and then suddenly it filled the room, the pixies all gracefully turned to face the middle aisle, each taking to one knee extending their wings back with their arms stretched forward and heads down. Then into the room appeared two white unearthly imagines, at first they where just a blur of a stunning sight to be had as they peacefully walked forward, extending their hands touching the pixies. It was upon this sight that she drew upon her staff…for with each touch the pixie gracefully fell to the ground as if they had died. She looked down to see even Casta had fallen to one knee, her head was held high though in pride and her wings lay folded back.

“I have come to this, my end. Listen High Elf… Promise me your life one day…Your life for my flower…” Her voice now sounded more age as if it was about to die.

“ I am afraid , Casta… I do not fully understand… but my word I give to you as a warrior, … my LIFE for that of your FLOWER!”
 
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#3
all in all I'd have to say that was pretty good, long lol, but still good, are you going to post the next parts in here or...? I've written a few things myself... but everytime I get something started... something comes up and I just stop... I'd say the only thing that was wrong with the story (other than a few small spelling errors... but who cares?) is that it kinda starts fast... you don't know a thing about the person's past... I guess that works if that's the effect you want and all... it just feels kinda... like I should know more.. other than that though it was quite good better than most of the stuff I do keep it up :thumbsup:
 

dustinzgirl

Banned - What an Asshat!
26,094
191
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#4
Kitana, I will print this out so i can read it without my eyes bugging...lol
First in your intro i kind of loose myself because there is too much flowery talk. It is well written, but suggest using her name sooner, give her an identity. There are some cliches that could be given a life of thier own, for instance name the blue winter rose.
Also, the ending is not belivable. If i am a high born elf maiden warrior (not an easy thing to accomplish) no way in hell would i tell some pixie i was scared. Make me belive she is scared, but also a true warrior, proud.
anyways, i used to do a lot of writing groups--no time with my career and shit now, so thought id give you some ocnstructive critism.
I do like your story, it is organized, colorful, and well worded.
 

_Kitana_

Angel of Death
4,674
46
0
#5
dustinzgirl said:
Kitana, I will print this out so i can read it without my eyes bugging...lol
First in your intro i kind of loose myself because there is too much flowery talk. It is well written, but suggest using her name sooner, give her an identity. There are some cliches that could be given a life of thier own, for instance name the blue winter rose.
Also, the ending is not belivable. If i am a high born elf maiden warrior (not an easy thing to accomplish) no way in hell would i tell some pixie i was scared. Make me belive she is scared, but also a true warrior, proud.
anyways, i used to do a lot of writing groups--no time with my career and shit now, so thought id give you some ocnstructive critism.
I do like your story, it is organized, colorful, and well worded.
I am Afraid i do not understand. It doesn't mean she afraid of anything..... she just saying she doesn't fully understand. You will find out the next part of this story and yes there is a lot of errors. THis is taking me forever to write. So don't get your hopes up lol. I keep going back and rewriting it so some small parts have changed. As soon as the next part is to my liking I will post it.

Thank you
 

dustinzgirl

Banned - What an Asshat!
26,094
191
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#6
ic...i took the last partgraph as more whiny than what u meant it..lol
 

MrNewbie

Me Vs. WTF.com
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#9
Duke Nukem you are a true fuck tards, the words thats in my head what I think about you isn't even worth saying. Lets move on to bait & tackle shall we , eh?

Nice Kitana, but I didn't read it all ;)..

Cheers