WTF ... IS WTF!?
We are a collective of people who believe in freedom of speech, the rights of individuals, and free pancakes! We share our lives, struggles, frustrations, successes, joys, and prescribe to our own special brand of humor and insanity. If you are looking for a great place to hang out, make new friends, find new nemeses, and just be yourself, WTF.com is your new home.

The River's End

_Kitana_

Angel of Death
4,674
16
0
#1
This thing was in it's completed forum 85 pages before a virus wrecked it. This is the first page in it final rough draft. Baiscally I want to know how it flows. If you are able to clearly understand everything. If the grammar looks alright and what your thoughts are.DG probally going to be sick of seeing this story by now.

Kaelin
Quest for the River’s End

A soft breeze of enchanted magic blew over her and she knew she had found it. She stood at “The River’s End”, a mystical place where many brave warriors had gone in the past to wash away the sins of battle. She was breathless as her eyes widen to the tender water falling violently over the cliff and into the peaceful pool that laid below.

Her gaze shifted towards the edge of the water and further up to where the scarlet tipped, lush, emerald green grass laid. There sprinkled about in the grass was white flowers that shimmered, even in the shadows, with a ruby red sparkle. Finally she noticed that all around her were giant trees. Trees bigger than any dragon or thing she had seen before.

Kaelin had always heard tales of this place, many tales in fact, but not a one had ever captured it true magical beauty like this To her, just standing here was worth all the questing and sacrifices she had been through. While many knew of this place few could take you here and even fewer could stand here. A thousand years of blood and tradition bound it to secrecy. Only those deemed worthy enough would ever cross it’s threshold.

Before to long she was resting her heavy packs on the ground and thrusting her sword deep with in the soft rich soil. She slowly started to undo the chains and buckle of her armor. Removing each blood stained piece until she was completely nude to the world. It was in times like these she felt most vulnerable and had this been any other place she would of at least bathe with her under armor on and her sword firmly in her reach. However, even Kaelin couldn’t help but let her guard down in such a place.

She soon pulled out a long flowing white piece of fabric attached to a metal hoop, that fastened around her belly, and a small seed. It was tradition for woman of her race and culture to have at least some part of their body covered while bathing outside. Though she was not like a normal woman she stilled followed the traditions of them. While gracefully stepping upon the water she reached up and unbound her long black hair allowing it to gently tumble down her back.

Underneath her footsteps small rings of scarlet rippled until she finally stopped in the middle of the pool. Once there she began to extend her beautiful slim hand out. Here, for hours, Kaelin would have to wait motionlessly for her offering of the seed to be accepted while she slowly sinking. After sometime she found her feet fully emerged into the dark murky mud of below. She gave a slight sigh as she felt the water ripple of her stomach.

She was almost ready to give up when her dark blue eyes noticed something on the edge of the water. There she could just barely make out a small sparkle of color. It was so diminutive that one would almost pass it by if not for it’s beautiful metallic luster and soft whisper that sang to the rhythmic notes of it’s wings. Finally a pixie had taken notice of her.
 
507
7
82
#2
Its really good! I hope some day i can read the rest of the story... that is such a tease! I wish I could see the rest... I am really very impressed! *mwah*
 

_Kitana_

Angel of Death
4,674
16
0
#4
thanks

The second part....



Immediately she was enchanted by a sea of ancient words. They seem to almost spilled forth into her ears and crashed down all around her. She tried to keep her thoughts flowing quickly, but she found the tales of the pixie’s song to be quite true. They were in fact the most stunning thing she had ever heard. She only hoped that her offering would be accepted by them. For even the pixie’s had their price. Typically that price was a rare seed from a foreign land that they could not reach and inside Kaelin’s hand was one of the rarest, a Blue Winter Rose.

This rose was very astounding with an ice blue color and frosted over petals that drop tiny snowflakes upon the ground. It had a beautiful long steam that was almost a sea green tint. Often times the most easiest way to spot it was at dawn. For that is when it would sparkle far greater than any gem known to exist.

It was once vastly abundant, until the human queen, Eldora, wanted them for her wedding. Her selfish pride drove her crazed with finding them and having them removed. Eldora considered herself far to great to ever allow any peasants or commons to have them for themselves. So she had them plucked from every field and mountain top until there was none to be seen. Though their were places that even Eldora’s great guards could not go and a few glowing seeds managed to be spared. Only those who would adventure far enough would ever find the flower.

Kaelin was definitely right in picking the Blue Winter Rose as she watched the pixie come closer. It’s childlike face gleamed with greed as she noticed the glowing aura of the seed. She seemed to let out a sigh of awe as her wings stretched out before landing graceful in Kaelin’s hand. There she hoisted the seed up proudly as her enchanting voice called out a few words. Of course these words made no sense to anyone else but a pixie and before Kaelin could even blink a few cluster of sparkles appeared and carried off the seed.

“You bring such a rare seed for us. This makes me happy and yet I wonder what is it that you seek?” the pixie said in a very common tongue.

“ I seek to have my soul be replenish,” Kaelin lowered her eyes, “for the stains of blood to be lifted off my sword and my hands forever clean,” her voice sounding so sad that one would almost think she could cry.

“If only sorrows where dreams one could cast them away….” The pixie half-giggled out “You are not a normal elfish woman are you?” her eyes glistened as she began to fly around Kaelin, “No a warrior of enchanted magic, beauty well beyond your years and yet you fall with such heavy sadness,” the pixie lowered her head for a moment before finally speaking again, “Your soul I can replenish. The stains upon your sword I can wash away. The sins upon your hands will forever be yours.”
 
4,149
1
0
#5
That gave me chills. Kitana, you truly have a gift. I can't wait to read the rest.
 
507
7
82
#6
Tiger is right, your really amazing. I love your work, I really hope that you keep posting parts of the story on untill we get to hear all of it! I love this story! I cannot wait to hear the rest!
 

_Kitana_

Angel of Death
4,674
16
0
#7
To Kaelin what happened next was like a dream. She could remember being lifted up out of the water. Her feet dangling on top and a soft cool breeze blowing around her. Every so often a few waves of warm water would crash down over her stripping away the worries of the world. She smiled with joy when she noticed the pixie calling upon the blade of her sword. It twirled around her before she was finally able to reach out and grab it. The blood that was once stained on it seem to melt away and flow down into the water.

There her traditional bathing cloth was removed as she was once again bound into her armor. Her breastplate, being the most heavily stained, was the last piece to wrap around her and fully shine in all it’s brilliance. The pixie had indeed replenished her soul. Kaelin once again felt strong and no longer was she weary of past adventures. Her sword in her hands now cried out for a new battle, a new reason to fight.

She looked down at her once dull black handle to see it glistening as bright as the night sky. Her blade now shimmered as if it had been newly forged and even the jade streak down the middle of the metal seem to glow with a new found radiance

She smiled for a moment. It may not of been as innocent as that day, but it was definitely as beautiful. Before she could give it anymore thought Kaelin felt her hair twirled around her and twist up into a braid. Her last memory of the pixie’s song was a few words that form into her ear. She remembered almost wanting to cry about the beauty of them, but sadly she could not recall what they all said. Only the part that whispered, “Good night sweet child.” With those four words Kaelin found herself sleeping upon the lush green grass with a warm cloak over her.

The next morning she awoke slightly dazed but still feeling amazing. She could not recall the last time her mind, body and soul felt this superb. It was almost as if a heavy weight had been lifted off her shoulders and she was free from the chains and binds of the world. Indeed it had been. For she was no longer in the armor she so clearly remembered being placed in.

Instead upon her body was a bluish silk dress that tied around her neck and flowed elegantly upon the ground. Her heavy leather boots layered in metal had been replaced by soft brown sandals. Her creamy, smooth skin was covered in tiny crystal of pixie dust. The only thing that was left from her normal attire was a knife still strapped to her lower left leg.

Kaelin ran to the edge of the water to get a better glimpse of herself. There she saw her long beautiful black hair interlaced with small flowers and braids. Resting just above her eyes in the middle of her forehead was a silver chain with a marvelous jade stone. She looked so surreal and beautiful, that even she couldn’t help but smile for a brief moment.

However, she never found herself smiling for too long and after a few seconds her warrior instincts took over. Hastily she went to grab her sword but her fingers found themselves wrapping around a beautifully carved wooden staff. The carvings were in great detail and looked to be words from the pixie langue.

While trying to decipher the words on the staff, a small thorny vine began to grow up the length of it and every so often a tiny white rose would bloom. This seemed to bring life to the gem that was perched upon the top. For as soon as it quit growing the crystal started to glistened in a pale blood red color while tiny sparks of fire fell down from it.

Kaelin held the staff with great skill and knowledge. After all she had grown up in the elfin cities and was no stranger to a staff. It had just been a great many years since she held one of this craftsmanship and certainly could not recall holding one that fit her hands so well.
 
4,149
1
0
#8
_Kitana_ said:
It may not of been as innocent as that day, but it was definitely as beautiful. Her last memory of the pixie’s song was a few words that forum (not sure what word this is supposed to be) into her ear. She remembered almost wanting to cry about the beauty of them, but sadly she could not recall what they all said. Only the part that whispered, “Good night sweet child.” With those four words Kaelin found herself sleeping upon the lush green grass with a warm cloak over her.

The next morning she awoke slightly dazed but still feeling amazing.

Instead upon her body was a bluish silk dress that tired (is this supposed to be tied?).

Kaelin ran to the edge of the water to get a better glimpse of herself. There she saw

However, she never found herself smiling for too long and after a few seconds her warrior instincts took over.

As she stared at the staff trying to decipher the words on it a small thorny vine began
Very well done. Sorry, the editor in me kind of took over for a moment. Still, nicely written. You have a good style and seem to have a grasp on how a story should develop. Bravo.
 

_Kitana_

Angel of Death
4,674
16
0
#9
tiger_86 said:
Very well done. Sorry, the editor in me kind of took over for a moment. Still, nicely written. You have a good style and seem to have a grasp on how a story should develop. Bravo.
Thanks, I spend a lot of hours working on a single part. Often times my mistakes are left over from a previous written sentance. Sometimes you read your story so much that you don't alway catch all the typos.

BTW: I edited your post a bit, just where you quoted my whole story. One of two reason I did that. The first being it changed a bit as I reworded some paragraphs and two to keep this thread from being any longer than it has to be.

Hope you don't mind.

After all I don't really consider this being a short story :).
 
4,149
1
0
#10
Nope, that's cool. Do what you have to do, right? Yeah, I understand about reading a story so many times you overlook typos. You'll probably get a chance to tear apart my stories too. Speaking of, you should check out my new one "Dragon's Flame." Let me know what you think.
 

DIZNUTS

Ñúñ'§ þêG £ègGéÐ /\/\å±ëý
3,158
1
0
#11
tiger_86 said:
That gave me chills. Kitana, you truly have a gift. I can't wait to read the rest.
ewww it gave me chills too :thumbsup: good job Kit :thumbsup:
 

_Kitana_

Angel of Death
4,674
16
0
#12
“Wow,” Kaelin’s lips murmured out as her eyes laid fixed upon the gem. She was so enthralled by it that she didn’t notice anything else around and was completely unaware that her feet had crushed a tiny flower. She failed to even notice the glowing ball of light standing angrily by the now lifeless flower.

Hmm… ” sighed a small voice that seemed to come out of nowhere.

It startled Kaelin so bad that she spun around wielding her weapon and thrusting it into thin air with such force that it flung her forward and upon the ground. There she landed face to face with a small pixie giggling and laughing like a child would.

hehe.. You always so egger for the next battle, the next fight and yet you can not .. Bwhahaha… defeat a small pixie, such as myself .” She giggle out before standing up and kicking Kaelin straight in the nose.

Her voice than turned to a more serious tone, “but how you can crush a thing of such delicate beauty. A small flower so tiny you did not take notice of it’s life. What a Shame… It was still young and was singing of your great beauty.” she lowered her head some, “That was before your big ugly feet crushed it” the pixie continued talking as she bent down picking up one of the tiny petals up, “ How ungrateful you are!

Kaelin rustled to her knees and peered down at the ground with a somber look. The pixie was right she had not noticed it at all. She thought for a moment to try and find words to apologize with, but atlas there was none to be had.

you only take from this place that is which is yours or had been offered to you, all else must remain the same or you pay a price.” she whispered out as the words echoed inot her mind from tale she heard when she was much younger, “ but what to a pixie is worth the price of a precious flower?” she pondered for a few minutes before speaking more clearly and out loud…

I am deeply sorry for the life of this flower…” she hesitated for a seconds as she study the pixie still gathering up the petals, “ I… I can offer you … I can offer you my blood ,” the Pixie looked up at her almost insulted by this reply, but Kaelin was to busy unstrapping the knife from her leg and only murmured out “This is my price I shall pay.”

Pff…“ The pixie shouted as she flung her hands up into the air allowing her once neatly gather petals to fall around her. “It is easy for you to give up droplets of your blood. You have done so in a thousand battles High Elf!” she looked down at the ground with tiny sad eye as she started to once again gather petals “The flower gave it’s youth and it’s life, or rather you took it with out permission.” she stopped for a moment “I want something more, Much MORE! ” The pixie voice was still very much child like but now held this tint of evil. This time it was much deeper and greedier sounding.

Well, Pixie… What is that you seek from me if not my blood?

PIXIE! ” She flung her arms on her hips as her wings fluttered in an angry motion, “I have a Name!” once again her petals were now flung all around her.

Forgive me, I meant no disrespect” Kaelin was forced to think of something fast to undo the insult she had laid upon the pixie, “ I am sure one of such elegant beauty has a name quite fitting.” she stated in an overly charming way before continuing to speak “let me adjust so that I many talk to you in a more official manner.
 

_Kitana_

Angel of Death
4,674
16
0
#14
A deep concentration took hold over Kaelin as she lost all control over her own thoughts. All that mattered was the casting of this one spell. Though this spell was not your basic flaming fire ball of wizardry. No it was far greater than that. Perhaps even one of the most difficult and excruciatingly painful spells a caster could cast, for one slip in thought and the price would be much higher than a few charred hairs. She was casting a transformation spell which is a very rare skill for any one to posses, especially an elf of her age.

She had never truly cast this particular form before and at one point she could feel the pain starting to seep in as her skin began to shrink and tighten around her form. She could even hear the cracking and breaking of her own bones into tiny fragments and then even smaller pieces until she was the size of a thimble. Her eyes closed tightly as she felt the itching, smoldering fire upon her back. It boiled from beneath until finally long golden butterfly wings exploded out into the sun.

To the pixie who was watching the transformation it was a beautiful sight, as Kaelin’s unneeded skin broke away into miniature silver sparks. Her bones turned to dust that swirled around her in a misty, hazy white. While small glowing balls of red fire, really Kaelin’s blood, faded away with the dust to reveal a pixie.


Naturally the world had grown to Kaelin and she was amazed at how different things looked at such a small size. She smiled with pride for a moment as she glanced over at the pixie still standing in front of her. There Kaelin was taken off guard at the true beauty of her new pixie friend. It's face was finely structured and her skin was a deep rich earth tone while her hair spiraled in layers around her face before tumbling almost to her feet. However what caught Kaelin’s attention the most was the pixie’s radiant violet eyes and star shaped pupils. In all her years Kaelin had never seen eyes quite like those before.


“What name could something so beautiful possibly have,” Kaelin charmingly awed out.

An enchanter I see.” the pixie said with a grin. “An enchanter with a bag of cheap tricks… Though I suppose I can see why you would want to try to be as beautiful as we pixies.”

“ I only seek your name, not your beauty. For creatures of my nature are far from being as… Magg.. Magnificent as you my lady.”

Defiantly a bag of cheap tricks you are,” the pixie replied, “ but you seek my name and I shall tell it to you. For what harm is in a name? … I am Casta Darkspirt, High Cleric of Shebelle.

Oh! Forgive me Lady Darkspirt for my lack of true respect. I did not know you were a High Cleric” Kaelin bowed down graciously as she continued to speak, “Now what is it that you seek from me?

Hmm… Well you see… You offered me but a river of life and I am seeking but an ocean.” Casta smiled out.

An ocean my lady?

You really do not understand… One day my dear enchanter I shall seek your life. It is only fair that you give it up. Your life for the life of a small flower.” she sighed out as her head drop down a moment. It was quite clear that she was losing herself in her own reflection of life.

I am always amazed at how creatures of great heights seems to think there exist is more important, when it is the small things that help bring life to all…” she paused for a second, “ You see a raindrop is so tiny that it is hardly ever noticed but it is often more important then gold or high elves. For life does not exist with out that tiny drop, but it certainly does exist with out gold or high elves.” She lifted her eyes back up to look at Kaelin as she kept on , “ Why sure when there is tons of tiny drops it becomes something big, like a river, lake or even an ocean… but only then do giants see it…. What does it matter? You shall promise me! Your life for the life of the small flower…” With that Casta begun to fly off.

Ww…wha… WAIT!” Kaelin shouted while hastily trying to learn how to fly. She flapped her long beautiful wings clumsily before finally lifting off into the air, “ I never promised…

Neither did the flower before you took it’s life… Now follow if you can fly!” Casta taunted as she begun to fly faster leaving a small trail of pixie dust behind her. .
 

_Kitana_

Angel of Death
4,674
16
0
#16
sigh... next part of this story coming soon, as for now i must go to bed.