The story of jack....

[screw_you_jack]

I once fell in love with an arrogant fool
Who thought he could rule the world.
He trained and taught me all that he knew
Until I fit his perfect mold.

One problem that he found
Was my own independent thought
Although he could sway it this way and that
Free will was a gift that the God's had bought.

I broke free from the life that I was doomed to live
With the help of his outcast hand,
Only thing is it doomed me again
To living up to his every demand.

I was not happy and how could I be?
With everything he demanded of me?
I am only human, like everyone else
Instead of living for him, I needed to live for myself.

So, I broke away from his iron fist
As he threatened all those that I loved.
Many years and tears flowed by
And his ghost still haunts my thoughts from above.

Hallow and shallow as I make my way through life
Lost in the memories of the past
Until one day I saw the light
That allowed me to find peace at last.

No religion or God did appear
No new love or new ideals
I realized that life is just all that it is
And with time all things will heal

So in this ode to dear old jack
I wish to say, fuck you
Because I found happiness without his help
And I've found a better man too.

So there it is then, my whimsical shout out to the guy out there who made me the loving person I am..... So with all debts now paid I leave this shout out to you.

jesus christ, it sounds like a childrens book, oh well

 

[_Kitana_]

I think it was very well written... it gave a good detail into the background of your name, not to mention it had a good poetic flow to it, some rhyme and was well thought out and put together...


Thanx for sharing...

Also was a good story, made me think a bit.

 

[screw_you_jack]

I think it was very well written... it gave a good detail into the background of your name, not to mention it had a good poetic flow to it, some rhyme and was well thought out and put together...


Thanx for sharing...

Also was a good story, made me think a bit.

I'm glad someone accualy responded, i didn't think anyone would. Staying up late last night thinking about life and how much i've changed as a person i started just throwing up crapy child-like rhymes...... there are so many things i just wish to say to people but never will, and so throwing it out into cyber space to packs of wolves is better then leting it rot away in my mind..... i wouldn't call this poetry, let alone good, but it was my thoughts of the moment.... yesyes, thanks for you comment though

 

[GottaHurt]

Start a poetry thread (there's several already, but they've been spammed)and put it there. i know _Kitana_ has been pushing for a section on writing. That way it won't get lost in this section after a few hundred more posts.

It's nice to see you can express your feelings with the written word now

 

[Noah]

I say we have a Rap battles forum. That'll spark contreversy!

(BTW, GottaHurt, you are the best ra-ra-ranter here... had to get that corniness out).

 

[otepsoul]

I say we have a Rap battles forum. That'll spark contreversy!

(BTW, GottaHurt, you are the best ra-ra-ranter here... had to get that corniness out).

nah im good im not going to rap,even thou i hate rap.

 

[Chris]

That was really good, man, you are one hell of a poet, jack

 

[screw_you_jack]

That was really good, man, you are one hell of a poet, jack

I kinda hope your kidding, or at least being very sarcastic. I wrote that in 7 minutes and then posted it. It was nothing good, at least nothing that deserves more then a quick read through.....

 

[OuttaControlX]

fuck jack...

 

[_Kitana_]

I kinda hope your kidding, or at least being very sarcastic. I wrote that in 7 minutes and then posted it. It was nothing good, at least nothing that deserves more then a quick read through.....

For seven minutes...

It sparked a lot of emotion, debate and told a story...

the rhymes while being simple... add to the over all theme, it granted a look into a world of someone a bit Naive (at the time) and young, full of spirit and heart.... who over came a lot.

It packed SO MUCH EMOTION, because you where feeling the emotion... and allowed it to easly forum into the written words. It is very simple, it is to say the least some of the best poetry I have read in a long TIME, from people posting on the board.

I hope to see more from ya....

(Note: Look we are debating a poem on a rant forum)