WTF ... IS WTF!?
We are a collective of people who believe in freedom of speech, the rights of individuals, and free pancakes! We share our lives, struggles, frustrations, successes, joys, and prescribe to our own special brand of humor and insanity. If you are looking for a great place to hang out, make new friends, find new nemeses, and just be yourself, WTF.com is your new home.

The weekend turned from "us" to "us and them"

littleone

the short crazy one
140
0
0
#1
My boyfriend lives in Virginia. I live in Michigan. That's three states away.

So, I haven't seen him for over two months, creeping up to three. He came into town for the weekend, for me. I repeat, for me. So, he comes up on Thursday around 10pm and left Sunday around 2pm. And I can honestly say that I can count the hours we spent alone on both hands (counting the hours when we were awake), and I won't need all fingers. Is that not fucked up? Am I being a bitch?

The reason for the lack of time together is because he lived here and just recently moved, so his friends and mom lives here. He told them he was coming up, and so they ALL wanted to see him. I thought that would be fine, I can perfectly understand why he wanted hanging out with them, and we have a lot of mutual friends. But!

Thursday night: we hung out with friends.
Friday night: to "The Vu" til 4 with his friends, then party hopped around town with his friends till forever.
Saturday: lunch with his mom, two hours alone, movie, and the rest of the night his friends came over and partied till I fell asleep around 2-ish.
Sunday: woke up next to him, nice, but he didn't go to sleep till a lot later then I did, so he was sleeping till around 10. He left at 2pm remember.

Am I being picky? Am I too jealous? Am I wrong for feeling like I was snaked?

I'm going to talk to him soon about this. I'm just curious if I'm feeling too strong about this situation, or if it'll sound like I'm obsessive or controlling or something.:rant:
 
Last edited by a moderator:

void

Banned - What an Asshat!
4,126
0
0
#2
is this the first visit since he left town?
if so it's early days.. but next time tell him what you liked and didn't like about the last visit.. see how that goes and if he still finds it hard to give you time then and only then it will be time to get pissy..
you're a woman.. you have every right to demand appropriate amounts of attention, men forget to be attentive.. they don't mean anything by it usually..
 

littleone

the short crazy one
140
0
0
#3
Thank-you. When you're right, you're right. That really did make me feel better. And it was the first visit since he left, so I understand. He'll be back in a month. We'll just have to wait and see then. And I will talk to him about it. Thanks.
 

skully

GO BEARS!!!!
1,415
0
0
#4
my girlfriend came back from nashville on friday. We havent seen each other for 3 months and we wont get to see each other that much during this week. I spent some "alone :D" time with her for two hours on saturday, then we went to dinner to my ouse, and my friends came over to join us. I didnt geht to see her today, neither will i be able to tomorrow or on tuesday cos i have a midterm and she has other friends to meet. On wednesday ill try and get some time. I also have to meet my friends who are back for the weekend. Thursday in thanksgiving...out at friends for dinner...try to spend a couple hours with her.she leave sunday. I dont know how mush time ill get to spend with her..


Also, how much time do you talk to him in the phone and how many times in a week? I have noticed that if we talk almost everyda, we fight a lot. 2 weeks back, we decided to talk over the phone once in 4 days. It works perfectly, dont yak on the phone much....boys get irritated.


ps in winter when i have the house to myself for 3 months, she s going to coe and stay with me for 1 week. I cant wait.
 

littleone

the short crazy one
140
0
0
#5
Yay for you my dear. One week alone in your house sounds, recreational? And we talk every night, and I've brought up the question of whether or not that's too much, he says no. And sometimes I think that he's lying, but then again half the time he's the one calling me at the end of the night.

Plus, we don't fight. That's not how we are. I tried picking a fight with him at the beginning of our relationship, and he stopped me from going any further. So, you're right, everyone's busy. You got to do what you got to do. I'm better now though.
 
4,149
1
0
#6
littleone said:
My boyfriend lives in Virginia. I live in Michigan. That's three states away.

So, I haven't seen him for over two months, creeping up to three. He came into town for the weekend, for me. I repeat, for me. So, he comes up on Thursday around 10pm and left Sunday around 2pm. And I can honestly say that I can count the hours we spent alone on both hands (counting the hours when we were awake), and I won't need all fingers. Is that not fucked up? Am I being a bitch?

The reason for the lack of time together is because he lived here and just recently moved, so his friends and mom lives here. He told them he was coming up, and so they ALL wanted to see him. I thought that would be fine, I can perfectly understand why he wanted hanging out with them, and we have a lot of mutual friends. But!

Thursday night: we hung out with friends.
Friday night: to "The Vu" til 4 with his friends, then party hopped around town with his friends till forever.
Saturday: lunch with his mom, two hours alone, movie, and the rest of the night his friends came over and partied till I fell asleep around 2-ish.
Sunday: woke up next to him, nice, but he didn't go to sleep till a lot later then I did, so he was sleeping till around 10. He left at 2pm remember.

Am I being picky? Am I too jealous? Am I wrong for feeling like I was snaked?

I'm going to talk to him soon about this. I'm just curious if I'm feeling too strong about this situation, or if it'll sound like I'm obsessive or controlling or something.:rant:
Not demanding at all. He's your boyfriend, and you should expect to be able to spend at least one day with him alone, depending on how long he's staying. For that visit you should have had one day. If he was only coming down for one day, then I would understand so much time with friends.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
139
0
0
#7
tiger_86 said:
Not demanding at all. He's your boyfriend, and you should expect to be able to spend at least one day with him alone, depending on how long he's staying. For that visit you should have had one day. If he was only coming down for one day, then I would understand so much time with friends.
yeah no kidding... if you ask me, a stern talk is in order. not a kinda "you know we should be more serious" talk but more of a "you know, maybe we should do stuff that people and see and make the connection: we are going out".

if what you described is the case I suggest a talk, that is all.

even though, i have to admit, in the past i have unintensionally neglected my girl friend. in all sincerity i didn't mean to no spend time, its just that somtimes us boys get sidetracked and go off and have phases. the difference is that no one let me know how i seemed to be acting, even she didn't say anything until it was too late and she was REALLY upset. i still feel bad.

just my 3 cents. take it as you wish.
 
139
0
0
#8
I would say you didn't spend any time with me don't you love me anymore..

Just kidding..I would start off the conversation with something to the effect of "you know I missed (name a certain thing he does that you think is great that he didn't do) when you came to visit, and I hope that (the certain thing) next time we can do that."..

I've come to find that it helps guys out if you tell them what you want in a non confrontational way..they tend to listen more that way...(although i will admit that at times a good bitching out is what is needed..:D )

Also, when you start a conversation of yours off this way it usually leads to quality time that he doesn't necessarily know he is participating in until later..he remembers how cool you are and next thing you know "he" has this great idea..:)
 

Piro

From appaled to applauding, controversy.
1,488
11
102
#9
curliestalicia said:
I would say you didn't spend any time with me don't you love me anymore..
No, no, NO!

That is the best way of closing a relationship. Once that is said, usually their shared trust goes out of the window. Plus, she would be considered obsessive (which she was worried about in her post). Especially considering the circumstance..it was his first time back in town after all. So many people to see!

littleone, next time he comes down I’m sure he'll spend more time with you. He had just got back after a longish time, wanted to see everyone, and have fun. His visits will, most likely, be calmer in future, hopefully longer too.

Don't distress, digress.
 

littleone

the short crazy one
140
0
0
#11
You guys are awesomely supportive, thank-you! I appreciate it, much. Yeah, he'll be back for a week and a half for Christmas and New Years. And I better be getting a shit load more action this time around! :)