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The zipper.

BrIONwoshMunky

EVERYBODY LOVE EVERYBODY!
Staff
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#1
So I managed to zip 'myself' up today. I have no idea how, it hasn't happened in 23 years, but today fate caused a vicious meeting of my meat and zipper. They didnt' get along, I had to seperate them quickly. :redface:

I might add that it isn't a situation I'm in a hurry to repeat. Though, for the sake of being me, I encourage all you young lads to try it. I promise an experience that you won't soon forget.
 

Icarus

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
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#2
I haven't done this ever, but I am very sorry for you. I hope I never experience this.
 

Piro

From appaled to applauding, controversy.
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#3
Haven't caught my manhood in the zip, but I had my pubes get entangled in my zipper before. It was unpleasant to say the least.
 

zbuzz

Banned - What an Asshat!
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#4
Well, what can I say.. Use buttons instead of zippers :D
 

Piro

From appaled to applauding, controversy.
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#5
Buttons can be seriously irratating if you are wearing a belt and you've had 6 pints down ya..
 

zbuzz

Banned - What an Asshat!
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#6
Oh.. That`s goddamn true. But than again - what can be worse than zipping your `little friend` up?
 

Nailbomb

I'm just really nice.
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#7
Having the scars to prove it, like I do. :happysad:
 
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#8
Ouch. Stories like this make me really glad I don't have a peen. :happysad:
 

BrIONwoshMunky

EVERYBODY LOVE EVERYBODY!
Staff
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#9
Nailbomb said:
Having the scars to prove it, like I do. :happysad:
DAMN, I won't have any scars. It was toward the beginning of the zip, and I hadn't built up momentum yet.
 

Slacker

Postaholic
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#10
It has happened once and it sucked. Plus I was taking a piss and I forgot to unlock the door and someone comes barging in. They scared me and I squeeze my hand and my nails rip the skin. :(
 

skully

GO BEARS!!!!
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#11
Piro said:
Haven't caught my manhood in the zip, but I had my pubes get entangled in my zipper before. It was unpleasant to say the least.
hmm, this happened to me to, very unpleasant experience. i didnt realise this till i zipped completely.Bad experience...bad experience
 
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#12
It's happened to me once. About 13 years ago.

Took me 20 minutes to get the damn thing unstuck, and it hurt like hell. :happysad:
 
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#13
thanx monkey, first good giggle i've had in here all week, sorry why i giggled though. glad you got your ummmm meat out hopefully unharmed and i'm glad the title wasn't misguiding. i seen it and said ouch.
 

Darklight

Oppressing your posts...
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#14
I aint done that since I was about 7... and I still remember how much it hurt...
 

Captain 151

Seeped in a dry Merlot
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#15
I was very afraid to read this when I read the title. I feared the worst, and my nightmares came true. The zipper fiasco is one of the most dreadful anythings to happen to a man's nether region. These include:

- kick in the nads
- coitus interruptus
- the zipper fiasco
- penis scoliosis
- Erectile Dysfunction (or, as known on the streets, "Raphael Palmeiro disease" or "Bob Dole Syndrome")
- unplanned genital removal (or, as known on the streets, "Lorraine Bobbit's Carving Post")

I luckily have never had any of the previous dreadful anything happen to my own nether regions, except for one nad shot I received when I was jumping from pew to pew in a church, but thats another story entirely.
 
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#16
That made me laugh so hard.... when I pictured the look on your face Brion.
Piro getting his pubes stuck in the zip mad me laugh so hard --- then I thought about it for a seccod, and realized that he must've not been wearing underwear, which made me kinda grossed out. Anyway, freekin' halarious :)
 

void

Banned - What an Asshat!
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#17
Jessica43999 said:
That made me laugh so hard.... when I pictured the look on your face Brion.
Piro getting his pubes stuck in the zip mad me laugh so hard --- then I thought about it for a seccod, and realized that he must've not been wearing underwear, which made me kinda grossed out. Anyway, freekin' halarious :)
he could've had underwear on.. mens underwear can have openings at the front, hairs 'leak' out of this hole and get in the zipper.. usually when you're drunk or in a hurry.

or maybe he wore a thong and is hairy like a beast.
 

JaeSwift

Just Another Enemy
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#19
It's worse when you're wearing jeans, those zips can be very painful.. Lol :p
 

lstblnd23

"Like-Mike"
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#20
Yup.

That happened to my pubes once... I will NEVER forget it. :(