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This Might Qualify Me As A Dipshit

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#1
I went to the florist yesterday to buy my wife flowers. I picked a bouquet up, stuck my head in there to smell them and one of the stems plucked me in the eye. After two hrs. of walking around in circles holding my eye I went to the doc and he dyed my eye and stuck a blacklight in my face and told me I gouged my retina. Thats why Im home today.
 
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#2
is it a coincidence there are flower ads above my post ?
 

Woodreaux

Original Dicksman
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#3
That's correct there are flower adds for this thread. I believe the forum matches patterns in the text to keywords for adds. Having flower components stick you doesn't make you a dipshit, you were just suffered misfortune. Nor does getting flower for your wife make you a dipshit. It indicates that a) you're really trying to get a peace of ass tonight, (you horney bastard :thumbsup: ) or b) she's currently pissed at you and you're trying to get out of the doghouse. At least this way, you have an excuse to get out of house chores for a reason she cannot get mad about!
 

ChilianFuckFace

Banned - What an Asshat!
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#4
concepts said:
I went to the florist yesterday to buy my wife flowers. I picked a bouquet up, stuck my head in there to smell them and one of the stems plucked me in the eye. After two hrs. of walking around in circles holding my eye I went to the doc and he dyed my eye and stuck a blacklight in my face and told me I gouged my retina. Thats why Im home today.
I see a few problems...

1.- You are dumb enough to get married.
2.- You are dumb enough to spend your money on roses.

(Note, I am not flaming you. I am just stating my opinion)

concepts said:
is it a coincidence there are flower ads above my post ?
The ads above are pulled to be related to what the topic of the thread. So no, it is not coincidence there are flower ads above your post.
 

Jung

???
Premium
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#5
That sucks, I guess next time you won't smell so close though.
concepts said:
is it a coincidence there are flower ads above my post ?
The ads are Google's AdSense, they match keywords on the pages they're placed on for relevance. They're often ironic and humorous too!
 
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#6
you are correct...they were get out of jail flowers.

dumb enough to buy her flowers ? its her money too...heee
dumb enough to get married ? best move I ever made....my life is GOOD !
 
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#7
by the way chilean fuck head...I recognize your feeble attempts at antagonizing me. I will be sniffing around and then I will be back for you !
 

ChilianFuckFace

Banned - What an Asshat!
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#8
concepts said:
dumb enough to buy her flowers ? its her money too...heee
dumb enough to get married ? best move I ever made....my life is GOOD !
Hmm... Well, you maybe the exception to every rule. However I do not believe so. Soon enough you will see that getting married was a mistake. It always is.

concepts said:
by the way chilean fuck head...I recognize your feeble attempts at antagonizing me. I will be sniffing around and then I will be back for you !
Hmm... you caught me. You won!
 

Captain 151

Seeped in a dry Merlot
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#9
concepts said:
I went to the florist yesterday to buy my wife flowers. I picked a bouquet up, stuck my head in there to smell them and one of the stems plucked me in the eye. After two hrs. of walking around in circles holding my eye I went to the doc and he dyed my eye and stuck a blacklight in my face and told me I gouged my retina. Thats why Im home today.
LMAO! This was a funny story! I can just picture a man walking into a flower store, looking at all the nice flowers, bending down to waft in the sweet smell of perfume and taking a stem right through the eye. Mwahahaha! Well done.
 

bigck3000

The Iron Lung
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#10
I dont know if I have some sort of extra-stupendous olfactory system...but I normally dont have to stick my whole head...into the flowers to get the gist of the smell. So yes I would agree that you are now a dipshit. Hows the Mrs.?
 

DIZNUTS

Ñúñ'§ þêG £ègGéÐ /\/\å±ëý
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#11
tbsrk said:
LMAO! This was a funny story! I can just picture a man walking into a flower store, looking at all the nice flowers, bending down to waft in the sweet smell of perfume and taking a stem right through the eye. Mwahahaha! Well done.
lmao i just imagined that.....now im curious what did u 2 do piss her off that bad that u need flowers?
 
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#12
thats a topic Ill not share here, suffice to say Im at a new website now.
 
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#13
that is why i hate flowers, if one buys them for a kiss ass present, i'll toss them in your face :D , and yes most men do prefer marriage for many reasons:1-they no longer have to chase chicks, 2-they never have to search for the booty, 3-men are lazy there for you get a live in maid, cook, and taxi driver :p
oh and about your tale, i giggled my ass off, sorry about the eye ;)
 

Woodreaux

Original Dicksman
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#14
Something greater than you intented can come from this. If the flowers work, you'll be off the couch tonight + plus with the eye injury you might consider an eye-patch! Which would put you well on your way to a bad-ass pirate getup!! Does anyone know where I'm going with this?
 
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#15
Thats the 1st thing she said ! Shes never wrapped her legs around a pirate before. :sword: :D

And Nymph girl....men dont get married because theyre tired of chasing girls. Is it possible, just maybe, that men actually fall in love too ?
 
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#16
Nymphchick said:
that is why i hate flowers, if one buys them for a kiss ass present, i'll toss them in your face :D , and yes most men do prefer marriage for many reasons:1-they no longer have to chase chicks, 2-they never have to search for the booty, 3-men are lazy there for you get a live in maid, cook, and taxi driver :p
oh and about your tale, i giggled my ass off, sorry about the eye ;)
Youve been meeting the wrong men or daddys got some problems.

1- Im not lazy I have more energy than her.

2- We share household chores ( yes I clean )

3- Id prefer she not go near the kitchen she cant cook ! I can.

Nymph girl...see about checking out a new breed of guy for yourself, the right guy will actually improve your life !
 
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#18
"hangs head in shame and scampers off to confession forum" :(
 

Jenkies

The Dude
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#20
I once gouged my eye with a flying fingernail when I was clipping my fingernails once. The fucker just shot right up there, had it stuck in my eye for like 15 minutes before I could finally get it out. It hurt like none other.