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Thought I'd give this whole poetry thing a try...

ferengi

Yay fire!
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#1
I've recently been experiencing feelings of loss that I don't feel like going into detail about... :(
I know it isn't considered 'macho' for guys to express their feelings in poetry, but piss on stereotypes - if you have any doubts as to my masculinity, I'd be glad to introduce you to my fist...
I've just recently begun writing poetry... I find it liberating... this is the first one I've ever posted publicly though. Enjoy.

We were as one, you and I
I wish you didn't have to go
But still our circumstances stand
And soon the tears begin to flow

If there was any way I could
keep you with me, then you know
You'd stay here with me forever
Instead of having to go

Oh how my heart is broken this day
I know that yours is too
I draw you close, one last time
and whisper "I love you"

And as I hold you in my arms
my eyes shut tight with pain
it's as if my very soul
from me begins to drain

I step back to get one last good look
of the love I held so dear
That I may never hold you again
Is now my greatest fear

I turn away and bury my hands
deep into my face
I begin to sob and weep
and my heart begins to race

It's time for you to go now
And I can feel within
An empty space: a part of me
Will never be whole again.

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Feedback welcome and appreciated.
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#5
very nice, I like the last verse the best, and if anyone gives you shit for being a poet, it's obviously because they're fucking jealous. I don't keep a journal in the conventional sense, I write a poem every day about what's going on, some of them are really good, others suck, but it's something that keeps my skills sharp.
 

skylinec

Somewhere in the Between
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#7
Very nice, Brava! brava. 8.7.