WTF ... IS WTF!?
We are a collective of people who believe in freedom of speech, the rights of individuals, and free pancakes! We share our lives, struggles, frustrations, successes, joys, and prescribe to our own special brand of humor and insanity. If you are looking for a great place to hang out, make new friends, find new nemeses, and just be yourself, WTF.com is your new home.

Time to Give it Up

ron

Buster of Asses
963
0
0
#1
Marriage. Just saying the word conjures up images of men in rented tuxedoes and women in ugly dresses they paid too much for which will never be worn again. Well, that's the wedding. Marriage is what happens after the wedding and at some point after the honeymoon. By the way, should the bride really wear white these days?

Anyway, marriage sets in more slowly for men than women. For men, it's just another day that leads to him getting laid. He also gets to sit in a hot tub. More than likely, his new wife has suddenly developed an interest in what she considers "kinky." This is usually alright for the guy.

Once the blissful couple is home, however, things change. Your girlfriend has suddenly become your wife. Your house is now hers. You can no longer sleep at your place tonight when you get pissed at her.

Why do women expect you to suddenly give up all the things she used to think were cool? Moreover, why do these dipshits allow it? You're married, not the "Prisoner of Zenda." Grow some nuggets, you pussy.

I mean, I've known new wives who made (made? GTFOH) their husband sell his motorcycle. That's the same motorcycle she was on the back of a few weeks ago in her halter top with her legs wrapped around his waist. Suddenly, though, she doesn't like it and he doesn't need it.

I've known new wives who demanded that her husband now cut his hair, quit his band, and sell his guitar. Why? Because they're married and he doesn't need that stuff anymore. Doesn't need that stuff anymore? Huh? Like she is somehow able to replace a screaming bend, a rapid fire arpeggio, or badass sweep from the lows to the highs. You expect him to give up the feeling he gets with his hair in his face, eyes closed, playing by feel? Bullshit. At least, that's how I play. Said pansy may play differently, I don't know.

What does she give up? Let's see. She gets a house. She still has her car. She probably still has her fucking cat and your dog just got moved outside. She still has every fucking stuffed animal she's ever owned (which now reside in what used to be his TV room) and every dress she's worn to any high school dance (in the closet of the room that used to be his TV room). Wait, she can't cat around the bars with her friends like she used to do, flirting with every guy who came her way only to cock-block him with her engagement ring. Yeah, devastating.

At some point this guy realizes that he is now married. He also realizes that he let her get away with a bunch of silly bullshit that he would not have tolerated before placing that over-priced band of gold on her finger. Then, he gets fat (he stopped playing sports because he had to constantly work on shit his wife assigned him), he drinks too much (it helps numb him long enough to make it through the night), and makes up any excuse to be away from her. Ah, wedded bliss.
 
1,102
2
202
#2
Sweet. I can't wait. Most of my friends have married now, and of 7 marriages, I can only think of one that I would say is truly a healthy, equal partnership. The rest? Yea, the guys have castrated themselves, and handed over their nuts. Occassionally, the missus lends him the cock and balls, so he can go out and play with the guys - but this is on a very rate occassion. I'm now the "bad" friend, as I'm one of the only unmarried ones. They've traded in poker night at my place for watching Survivor with other married couples from work. Booooring. They've swapped basketball Tuesdays, for "Dude, we gotta run to Pottery Barn" Tuesdays. WTF!! Just cuz you're married doesn't mean you have to be a pussy. Then again, these guys were already on that bus when they were dating these bitches. Practically needed to stage a hostage rescue just to get one of them out to go see a game. Another used to joke about "getting a hall pass," whenever he got the all clear to hang with the boys. That was, until the woman heard him use the phrase, and belittled him in front of the rest of us for making her feel bad. Said it wasn't fair for him to put that on her, and that she's given plenty up to be with him, and the least he could do is want to spend time with her!! Psycho..

Wow, guess that's been building up for a while.
 

GottaHurt

Sexual Deviant
1,591
0
0
#3
Geez, where do I sign up for all this wedded bliss?

Suckers.

Marriage is the female art of trickery.YOU guys thought you were going to get laid everynight when you signed your death warrant, but you didn't read the fine print, that say's she's the boss, always. You might think you wear the pants, but that giggling and thunderous laughter you hear coming from her tupperware parties isn't just about your penis size, it's them sharing stories of how pathetic your begging has become when she decides if you're getting "some" or not.

That "list" she gave you, the one you thought was all about "keeping-you-busy-so-you-can't-be-with-your-friends", is really her checklist of reasons why you're not going to be "getting any", when they're not done to her satisfaction, and you know by now, that they never meet her satisfaction, because you're not getting any.

The best part, the creatures that emerge from her crotch (hey, you put them there) and are exact miniature replicas of her, complete with "death grip" on any future potential fun that you're still fantasizing about having.

Yea, I tried the "9 to 5 honey I'm home", but I didn't sign the contract, which put me into Unrestricted Free Agency, which when translated means: "Midnight to 7am, what was your name again?"

Yea, it gets lonely sometimes, but all I do is close my eye's and think of you poor miserable bastards chained up in the backyard while I'm out roaming the neighborhood, sniffin' bushes and lifting my leg.
 

ron

Buster of Asses
963
0
0
#4
badassmtbiker said:
Sweet. I can't wait. Most of my friends have married now, and of 7 marriages, I can only think of one that I would say is truly a healthy, equal partnership. The rest? Yea, the guys have castrated themselves, and handed over their nuts. Occassionally, the missus lends him the cock and balls, so he can go out and play with the guys - but this is on a very rate occassion. I'm now the "bad" friend, as I'm one of the only unmarried ones. They've traded in poker night at my place for watching Survivor with other married couples from work. Booooring. They've swapped basketball Tuesdays, for "Dude, we gotta run to Pottery Barn" Tuesdays. WTF!! Just cuz you're married doesn't mean you have to be a pussy. Then again, these guys were already on that bus when they were dating these bitches. Practically needed to stage a hostage rescue just to get one of them out to go see a game. Another used to joke about "getting a hall pass," whenever he got the all clear to hang with the boys. That was, until the woman heard him use the phrase, and belittled him in front of the rest of us for making her feel bad. Said it wasn't fair for him to put that on her, and that she's given plenty up to be with him, and the least he could do is want to spend time with her!! Psycho..

Wow, guess that's been building up for a while.
Damn, sorry to hear that. The guys who hand their balls to their new wives are like one of my brothers-in-law. He's the one who can't answer a direct question without looking at his wife for permission or a response. Those guys might as well be eunuchs. Pussies.

You're married. Your life did not end. You are not a different person. You can choose to stand and fight or give in and die a slow, malingering death. You've heard of guys who are old before their time? Yeah, those guys gave up their bikes and guitars.

I have always been the bad friend. Now I'm married. Married again, really. My first wife was a freakin' psycho, but only after we got married.

I can't complain about my new wife; our relationship is a partnership. We each have our moments, but we're happy and healthy. I'm an asshole on occasion and she's a bitch on occasion. It happens. We get over it. Most of the time, she is infinitely cool.

One of my friends (best friend through high school and college) is no longer allowed by his wife to see me. He had to sneak out of the house while she was out indulging her gambling habit at one of the local casinos in order for me to see his newborn son. No shit. I've told the rest of those Nancies that I don't have time for them; they should call me when they get their balls and bikes back.

My wife is cool: she practically drags me onto my bike sometimes (1999 Victory V92C) so we can take a ride. When I play guitar (ESP), she always tells me how sexy I look with the hair in my face, eyes closed, playing by feel. Hey, it's her opinion.

We also still have sex, lots of sex. Sex rocks. Whomever said that sex is not important to a relationship wasn't getting any. He had probably already handed over his nuts.

I forgot the mention in the original post that most newlyweds have great sex for about a month. Then, something happens and the sex stops. She always has a headache, she's on her period, she's pissed because you left the toilet seat up. Blah, blah, blah...

My posts are long because I rant for justice! Or something. Fuck off if you have the attention span of a gnat.
 

googler100

Banned - What an Asshat!
15
0
0
#6
im the best

the googler rules!!!!

URLS REMOVED - Admin
 

The_DEAL

FAILING @FAILING!
2,301
52
112
#7
googler100 = the retard version of SOD
 

Ctoit

Tenderony
428
1
0
#9
GottaHurt said:
Geez, where do I sign up for all this wedded bliss?

Suckers.

Marriage is the female art of trickery.YOU guys thought you were going to get laid everynight when you signed your death warrant, but you didn't read the fine print, that say's she's the boss, always. You might think you wear the pants, but that giggling and thunderous laughter you hear coming from her tupperware parties isn't just about your penis size, it's them sharing stories of how pathetic your begging has become when she decides if you're getting "some" or not.

That "list" she gave you, the one you thought was all about "keeping-you-busy-so-you-can't-be-with-your-friends", is really her checklist of reasons why you're not going to be "getting any", when they're not done to her satisfaction, and you know by now, that they never meet her satisfaction, because you're not getting any.





ahhhhhhh yea, sounds pretty accurate to me...........ROFLMAO :cool:
 

sinned_girl

Every boys toy
91
0
0
#10
Yes its a shame that most marriages end up that way, how women take away a lot of the guys stuff..but dont worry for once I'm on all your sides about this, lol..I dont think its right and I'm definitly not going to be like that when I get married. My relationship with my husband will stay exactly the same and getting married wont change anything, it will just be an indication of the finalization of our love for eachother ;)
 

fasteddie

Clitpickle
69
0
0
#11
damn ron, why u all pissy when your marriage sounds like it's actually good??? Man your best friend is fucked up if he doesn't got the balls to see you even.
 

ron

Buster of Asses
963
0
0
#12
fasteddie said:
damn ron, why u all pissy when your marriage sounds like it's actually good??? Man your best friend is fucked up if he doesn't got the balls to see you even.
Well, I never said I was pissy about MY marriage...

i just hate to see people waste their lives kissing someone else's ass.
 

ron

Buster of Asses
963
0
0
#13
sinned_girl said:
Yes its a shame that most marriages end up that way, how women take away a lot of the guys stuff..but dont worry for once I'm on all your sides about this, lol..I dont think its right and I'm definitly not going to be like that when I get married. My relationship with my husband will stay exactly the same and getting married wont change anything, it will just be an indication of the finalization of our love for eachother ;)
I think everyone here appreciates your sentiment. However...

Did anyone else's bullshit detector just spike?
 

Ctoit

Tenderony
428
1
0
#14
ron said:
Well, I never said I was pissy about MY marriage...

i just hate to see people waste their lives kissing someone else's ass.

Me too, unless its mine :cool:
 

GottaHurt

Sexual Deviant
1,591
0
0
#15
Ctoit said:
Me too, unless its mine :cool:
mmmmm, your back arched, presenting that booty in canine fashion, your scent wafting through the air...

God I love it when you give me visuals....
 

sinned_girl

Every boys toy
91
0
0
#16
ron said:
I think everyone here appreciates your sentiment. However...

Did anyone else's bullshit detector just spike?
Excuse me but none of what I said was bullshit...I meant every word, so you can just go fuck yourself asshole :mfinger:
 

ron

Buster of Asses
963
0
0
#17
sinned_girl said:
Excuse me but none of what I said was bullshit...I meant every word, so you can just go fuck yourself asshole :mfinger:
I never said you didn't mean it. In fact, I am absolutely convinced that you believe that load of tripe you just shoveled in.
 

fasteddie

Clitpickle
69
0
0
#18
ahh, so just marriage in general and wussy pussy-whipped mofos. Yeah, a man that loses his manhood like that, well, they should just shoot themselves...
 

sinned_girl

Every boys toy
91
0
0
#19
ron said:
I never said you didn't mean it. In fact, I am absolutely convinced that you believe that load of tripe you just shoveled in.
Well you can believe whatever the hell you want, i dont give a damn. but it wasnt a load of tripe :mfinger: