WTF ... IS WTF!?
We are a collective of people who believe in freedom of speech, the rights of individuals, and free pancakes! We share our lives, struggles, frustrations, successes, joys, and prescribe to our own special brand of humor and insanity. If you are looking for a great place to hang out, make new friends, find new nemeses, and just be yourself, WTF.com is your new home.

Top eight morons

TwisT

Hooked on Rocks!
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#1
No I aint talkin bout any of our friends here at WTF?!...

1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP? AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.

2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting "Please come out and give yourself up."

3. WHAT WAS PLAN B??? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts..

4. THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop, and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

5. DID I SAY THAT??? Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words, "Give me all your money or I'll shoot, the man shouted, "That's not what I said!"

6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING?? A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!", the man shouted, "This is her husband!".

7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!! In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket.(hellllllooooooo!)

8. THE GRAND FINALE Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, California, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 ft. going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power was applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted to a nearby marina, thinking someone there could tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out drive went up and down, the prop was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath, he came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard......

NOW REMEMBER ...THIS IS TRUE...

Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!
 

Ctoit

Tenderony
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#2
now thats some funny shit..............the only thing that could make any of it funnier was if any of those idiots (minus the one with the $26 million) was my ex!
 

Seije

The Stranger Returns...
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#3
holy shit...that cracks me up...what the fuck is wrong with people these days?
there's no common sense left in this world
 

G's-up

Postaholic
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#4
ROFLMAO...#2 has to be one of the best....... :)
 

Shurikane

Raging Hermaphrodite
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#5
I raise you with those two:

-SORRY! A man attempted to hijack a plane for Detroit. The stewardess in hostage said "But... We're already going to Detroit." Which was true. The man realized his mistake, put his gun back in his pocket, apologized and sat back down.

-WHERE TO? This one just explains itself: a street gang hijacked a subway and told the driver to take them to Cuba.
 

Descent

Hella Constipated
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#6
Welcome to the panet Earth. How may I take your order?

There are idiots everywhere, even on other planets (Well, at least there should be...).

I usually just laugh and take this stuff for granted. Naturally, some people are just stupid. If you never try to be smart, you won't be. If you are not smart, it's harder to become successful in life.
 

Ctoit

Tenderony
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#7
jstager said:
Welcome to the panet Earth. How may I take your order?

There are idiots everywhere, even on other planets (Well, at least there should be...).

I usually just laugh and take this stuff for granted. Naturally, some people are just stupid. If you never try to be smart, you won't be. If you are not smart, it's harder to become successful in life.


It should hurt to be stupid... :cool:
 

Descent

Hella Constipated
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#8
I just take stupidiity for granted. It's your fault if you are not smart, you should have put those neurons to work in your brain when you were younger. I.Q. means nothing. It's what you make of yourself. My I.Q. is only 135, far from genius, and I know way more than some people I have met who are double my age.
 

Black Flame

Mayhem on the Loose
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#9
Lol! that's hilarious.
i read this ironic article in one of my dad's biker magazines about a guy who had commited suicide by jumping off of an apartment building. but on his way down he was shot by a bullet from one of the apartments and would have survived the fall because of an awning that was at the bottom, had he not been shot. now the funny party is... the man had wanted to kill his mother because of something to do with the will, and knew that his parents often got in fights, and his dad would always threaten her with his rifle (never keeping it loaded of course). but before he commited suicide (in a plan to kill his mother) he loaded the gun so to set up his father for killing her. so when they got in a fight, he fired a shot. it missed the mother, went through the window and shot the man as he was falling. so the police cannot figure out if it was homicide or what!
hehehe, i liked it.
 

morelos

lexicon incognito
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#10
black flame: that's one count of manslaughter and one of attempted murder, to me.

1) the fact that the guy is killing himself is negligible because he is alive at the time when the bullet strikes him. even if you ask for it, it is not suicide if someone else kills you.

2) the bullet was not supposed to be in the rifle, so his dad can't be held for murder; the killing was unintentional.

3) however, the threat on the wife with a gun, loaded or not, is considered (in most states) attempted murder the minute the hammer hits the firing pin, regardless of whether the firing pin hits the back of a cylinder.

~ dan ~

ps - stager, IQ is a retarded, retarded thing. if you know what it stands for, you should be able to put together the mathematical operation they perform to measure it.
 

Descent

Hella Constipated
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#11
morelos said:
ps - stager, IQ is a retarded, retarded thing. if you know what it stands for, you should be able to put together the mathematical operation they perform to measure it.
I know what it means, and they just use an average to measure it, right? It's been a while since I have seen the tests, I can't remember.
 

morelos

lexicon incognito
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#12
intelligence quotient.

literally, it was born back in the day where the concept of 'intelligence' was really what we know today to be 'scholastic aptitude.' anyway, your intelligence quotient was measured by taking a test of things you knew -- how to compute this, what the capital of that country was, the definition of this word -- and using your score on this as your "mental age."

then they divide your "mental age" by your numerical age, in years (which presumes that [a] we all progress at the same rate and that we all learn the same things as we progress at the same rate).

thus is born the intelligence quotient (quotient is the answer to a division problem).

~ dan ~

ps - do i have to argue that it's obsolete or do you believe me, just after reading a bit more about the mechanics.

pss - do some mental math. imagine the fact that you stop learning scholarly material after you finish college. does your IQ drop because your age continues to increase? of course. whoops. flaw in system; i'm just as smart now as i was then. what happened?
 

G's-up

Postaholic
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#13
:offtopic: Thread hijackers.....LOL..... :)
 

FUBAR

Jean Jacket Tough Guy
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#16
Ctoit said:
It should hurt to be stupid... :cool:
it does, but it only hurts the people competent enough to understand the stupidity