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Tornado Tongue

Icarus

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
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#1
Tornado Tongue with Tornado Lungs...

Check this out...

Certainly these serpentine surly-teens think they're burning-me/
They're sure-to-see the worst-of-me, hurtin'-these kids with urgency/
Words-will-be the reapers, pumping death through your speakers/
I size kids up before I cut them down to their sneakers!/
Can't beleive-this, I'm self-taught to be the hell-wrought death-bringer/
Deaf-singer, off-key but top-B(ee), Kiss my ass, it's all stinger!/
Stop-see, my punchlines got your stereo blaring-fists/
I 'fuck with heads' till I have to reccommend 'therapists!'/
Scaring-stiff and simple like girlie's back-to-school-dresses/
See I keep it clear and easy like acuvue-lenses!/

'Cause destiny won't rest-with-me I'm blessed-to-be the best-and-see/
The hectic-scene's arresting-me, got 'perfect grades', who's 'testing-me?'!/
So set-me-free I bet-you'll-see respecting-me makes sense-for-G's/
You've 'stepped-in-beef'? Kid, this 'cow shit' ain't even started stressin'-me!/

Tornado Tongue... Tornado Lungs... Tornado Tongue... Tornado Tongue...

Exhale cyclones...

You're eating-shrooms, perceiving-doom, freaking-too and shreiking-tunes/
Tweaking-views, Give me my breathing-room, and leave-me-soon, I'm deep-in-gloom/
Fry craniums like uranium, acid-rain-is-yall done-hating-yet?/
I'm artistic like ya'll are scribbling while I'm Mona Lisa painting-it/
Floor's hard? I slept-on-it, Crew's hard? I wrecked-on-it/
Shit's hot? I stepped-on-it, Mic? Shit? I'm best-on-it!/
The neurons halt their firing and you're slipping into brain-lapse/
The whistles are approaching, and this kid's frozen on train-tracks/
I strain-whacks, my main-axe to grind in your pained-backs/
You're chained-back, common "dog", you got a "bark collar" or something?/

These plastic-cups are rappin-tough, not askin-much but smack-ya-rough/
Your tracks-all-suck, you're whack-on-cuts, fuck with Smythe? Get blasted-up!/

Tornado Tongue... Tornado Lungs... Tornado Tongue... Tornado Tongue...

Spit twisters...

Now you're fuckin with the show stopper, and I ain't talkin' 'bout opera/
"Livewire tongue" so my spits are microphone "shockers"!/
Static-electricity to plaster-the-bitch-MC's/
The faster-I'm-ripping, and these kids think they're DISSING-ME?/

They're whack-for-shore, and rap about gats-n-gore/
A bad categore(y), 'cause this is simply rap-for-sport!/
This cat-is-bored, but I must admit/
I'm just a crowd pleaser and these kids always ask-for-more!/

Emasculate, decapitate and prove that all these whacks-is-fake/
Uncap-the-mace, spray activate, hear lyrics, make a gasping-face/
The lasting-place is smacking-chase the rabbit through the tracking-gates/
Tornado tongue is on the run, tornado lung, EVACUATE!/

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The first song that will be recorded on my EP...
 
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#3
I don’t really know enough about rap to judge anything. However, I’ll try to give the best feedback I can based on merely a lyrical aspect.

First off, I really enjoyed reading this. (Interested in hearing what beat you plan to put this too, if I can)

The word choice was very well done, making the flow itself come together excellently. Also, some of your individual lines, pack a very nice punch lyrically...I was impressed with that. A half way decent structure, complimented fairly well by a consistent tone, and tempo. The attitude and emotion element in this come across strong. (that’s a good thing)

Overall: I thought this was very well done, though there is always room for improvement, and it could always be better. (Of course, again, I’m no great “lyricist” myself, so what do I know?)

:thumbsup: :thumbsup: