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UberSkippy Presents: Chlorine for the Gene Pool; Alcohol

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UberSkippy

a.k.a. FuckTheBullShit
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#1
So before I get started on this one, I figure I should explain that not everything I've written under the "Chlorine for the Gene Pool" title has to do with me ruling the world. Actually those are a small portion of what I put down. Most of them are rants about things that piss me off. So this episode is a rant, not me making up new rules.

This one seemed appropriate because well, I drank a lot this weekend. It's an old one but whatever.

Alcohol:

Alcohol sucks. Well, that’s not quite right. The morning after alcohol sucks. I am not exactly sure why it sucks either. These fuckers that invent shit can make damn near everything except hang-over proof booze.

WHY? Why the fuck can’t I get lit shitty and feel fine the next day? Don’t tell me it’s not fucking possible, that I feel bad because alcohol sucks all the water out of my body and my brain. I know what causes a hang-over fuckhead. I’m asking why they exist in the first place. We have fucking moisturizing hand lotion, why can’t we have moisturizing booze? It fucks you up but the next day you feel fine because the liquor hydrates you. Fucking Gatorade with alcohol in it.

You know why we can’t have hydrating booze? I’ll tell you why. The fucking Christians. Well, I’m pretty sure it’s the Christians. It could be the Muslims but what’s the difference?

Anyway, the fuckers standing up there in front of their little sheep don’t want us to feel good after drinking. They don’t want us to drink at all. It goes against their religious beliefs or something. Remember, most of these people are complete socio-pathic hypocrits so I’m not exactly sure that we should really see these idiots as good role-models.

Back to my general rant against the Christian Muslims; They want us to feel like shit so we don’t drink. It’s called “negative reinforcement”. The theory goes that if you do something bad, and the consequences suck you won’t do it again. It’s an interesting theory. When my dog gets in the garbage can I beat the fuck out of her in order to let her know that spilling the trash all over the house has painful results. So does she get the point? I don’t know, she keeps getting in the trash and I keep beating her. I’m thinking she either gets the point and doesn’t care or she’s a sadist and gets a thrill out of it. But the theory that if you get hung-over you won’t drink obviously doesn’t work. Just look at any college campus on any given Sunday morning... you'll see what I mean.

So fuck the Cristian Muslims. I want hydrating liquor. Call your senators and republicans. They don’t know we want it. (They do know atually, they just think we don't know we know.) Just think, if you can get fucking hammered one night and feel 100% fine the next morning how much fun that would be. This would be a great world. It’s a world we all need. It would allow ugly fuckers to get laid. It would allow nerdy geeks to talk to hot chicks. It would allow fat people to get hit on. It would allow people like me to get completely shithoused on a week night and not have to go to work and flinch everytime I open my eyes.

Do it. Do it NOW.
 

void

Banned - What an Asshat!
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UberSkippy said:
WHY? Why the fuck can’t I get lit shitty and feel fine the next day? Don’t tell me it’s not fucking possible.
it is possible :thumbsup:

take ecstasy, a lot of it.. you won't feel bad until tuesday if you take it friday.. :)
but that tuesday crash, kind of lasts until the next friday.. :(

i used to binge on it saturdays and wednesdays.. i'm not sure who's fault that was but yeah, let's blame the mustians.
 

RetArt

A Rampant Vagitarian
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Actually my dear drunken friends. Have no fear as the cure is here. Well.. It´s not actually "here" nor can I get hold of it but anyways.

What you need is Ro15-4513. It is a drug that blocks most of alcohols behavioural effects.

Alcohol promotes the flow of chloride to the GABAa receptor complex, just as tranquilizers do, propably by facilitating the binding of GABA to it´s receptors. These effects on GABA are responsible for alcohol-based antianxiety and intoxicating effects. This is where the Ro15-4513 affects, the GABAa.
It also blocks alcohols effect on motoric skills and the depressive actions.

It is sort of like "the ultimate sobering-up pill".
Too bad the drug is only experimental and will never be put to production.
You might say that this is because of myuslims or christians or whatever. I say this is because of pure common sense.
Every western society has way too much alcohol-based problems and introducing this pill would just worsen the usage.

Anyways. there is a pill - It is experimental, but still- Introduced by Hoffmann and LaRoche.
 
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#5
Can someone explain to me why this is in B&T and not Life Sucks?
 

UberSkippy

a.k.a. FuckTheBullShit
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#6
For the simple fact that it's 1. not serious and 2. meant to attract negative attention you fool.

I post this shit in B&T so that people can reply as they see fit. In other words you can use it as flame bait if you want.
 
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#7
Well if it makes you feel better, if this rant offended me I would have flamed you no matter what forum it was in.

But it was a good one.
 

JLXC

WTF's Official Conspiracy Fanatic
Premium
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#8
I agree, I want a clear get-out-of-hangover free pill! Gimme! Fuck Viagra!
 

Nailbomb

I'm just really nice.
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#9
UberSkippy said:
Why the fuck can?t I get lit shitty and feel fine the next day? Don?t tell me it?s not fucking possible.
Cardio work. As long as you can still walk, go on a fucking hike around the block a few times or something. Eventually, you'll be able to jog around the block a few times. Works like a charm.
 

wilko125

Rep My Post
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#10
And remember to take 20 litre's of water (gallons for Imperial ppls) otherwise you will implode :(
 

BrIONwoshMunky

EVERYBODY LOVE EVERYBODY!
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#11
Just an FYI, 20 litres of water equals approximately 5.2836 Gallons. Liters to gallons isn't a direct conversion....
 

UberSkippy

a.k.a. FuckTheBullShit
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#12
Some of you are missing the point I think.

I want to get lit shitty and sit and play Nintendo games. I don't want to get drunk and then go to the gym or drink enough water to kill a donkey. No, I'm not going to drop a tab of x and risk baking my brain on top of drowning my brain.

Damnit, I just want to get drunk out of my gord and not be hungover. No in-between steps. Drunk to passed out to awake and feeling fine.
 

void

Banned - What an Asshat!
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#13
UberSkippy said:
No, I'm not going to drop a tab of x and risk baking my brain on top of drowning my brain.
my bran didn't get baked!

 
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#16
So was I supposed to read that long ass beginning post to participate in this thread, or may I jump in now?
 
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