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UberSkippy Presents: Chlorine for the Gene Pool - Boobies

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UberSkippy

a.k.a. FuckTheBullShit
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Not withstanding that we have our own long running boobie thread, I still figured I'd post this boobie rant anyway. Because it makes me laugh.

Boobies:

Now we all know that men are fascinated by boobies. I don’t think there’s another part of the body that has so many acknowledged nick names: tits, breasts, hooters, knockers, melons, love pillows, fun sacks, suck puppies, twin peaks, nipple mountains, mams, mammories, milk makers, hanging rocks… it goes on and on. And you know what… when a guy is talking to another guy any word will suffice. We ALL know what they mean. For example a woman gets out of a nice car and one guy says to another “Man, check out her tires.” No straight man will look at the tires on her car. He knows EXACTLY what the fuck his buddy is talking about.

So women, understand that we love tits. Don’t ask us why. We don’t know. We’re fascinated by them. We like them. We love them. We NEED them. Unless we’re queer and then… well fuck, I don’t know, I like boobies, I’m not queer. So if you catch us staring at your chest, take it as a compliment. We know you’re more than a nice rack but at the moment, we’re admiring one of your more apparent sets of assets.

If you don’t want us to look at your goodies don’t stick them out at us, don’t put your purse strap between them and sure as fuck don’t wear low cut or see through shirts and DO WEAR a fucking bra. Nothing gets our attention more than tits swinging in the wind. Women get so pissy about guys looking at the twins but watch them, half the damn time they arch their backs while they talk to us… that’s just EMPHASIZING your sweater meat. If you do something that attracts attention to them, fuck you, you wanted attention you got it.

Now one thing women seem to have a misconception about is size. More is better. Women don’t get it. MORE is not better. Quality is WAY more important than quantity. If you grew big tits good for you. If you only have little tits good for you. You know what, little tits are way BETTER than fake tits.

It’s a quality versus quantity issue. Real tits are ALWAYS more fun than fake tits. A fake D cup is just not nearly as much fun as a real A cup. Now some guys will disagree but they’re just homo’s that are overcompensating and they can all go jack off in a light socket.

And for those of you thinking that big natural hooters are STILL better than small ones. Well, you might be right but only as long as everything is proportional. Nothing looks sillier than a little woman with gigantic knockers. She looks like she’s going to fall over or as if you could user her as a floatation device in the event of a water landing.

Smaller tits are usually higher quality. Think of it this way, there are a fixed number of quality points to go around. Every woman has the same number of points in her boobs. The bigger the rack is, the more spread out the quality points are. Sure, a set of natural DD’s are big boobs, but when they start getting big the look ungainly, end up being lopsided and start taking on cottage cheese looks. I mean sure they are big and natural but my dog has big and natural shits and you don’t see me running out to play with that now do you? No, you don’t. Just because hers are big doesn’t make them better. Maybe she’s got all her quality points in one booby and the other sucks.


So ladies, please don’t take offence to our love of your chest rocks. We love them, they’re so pretty and fun to play with. Size really doesn’t matter. Besides, a handful is fun, anything more is just a waste. Just remember, we love boobies. All boobies. Don’t worry if yours are big or small or whatever. They’re boobies and that means they’re loved.
 

void

Banned - What an Asshat!
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this thread is pointless without pictures.. ;)
 

Captain 151

Seeped in a dry Merlot
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I disagree. The big ones are better than the small ones. It's like a door knob. How fucking hard would a door be to open if it was a tiny A-cup knob. Ya gotta be able to grip and squeeze that shit. Big ol' victorian door knobs... that's whats good.
 
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#5
Whatever. Next guy I catch staring at my tits will have his eyeballs ripped out and handed to him. That "don't show them off" argument is crap. Just cause you noticed them, that doesn't mean we're showing them off. Furthermore: men don't have tits, so they shouldn't tell us women not to get mad if they stare at them. They don't understand what it's like. It gets really fucking old after awhile. When you have guys staring at your chest like you're a two dollar hooker ten times a day, then you can tell me all about how I should feel. Til then, just....no.

Okay: Flame away. :rolleyes:
 

Nailbomb

I'm just really nice.
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zoloftcasserole said:
Furthermore: men don't have tits, so they shouldn't tell us women not to get mad if they stare at them. They don't understand what it's like. It gets really fucking old after awhile. When you have guys staring at your chest like you're a two dollar hooker ten times a day, then you can tell me all about how I should feel. Til then, just....no.
*MOST* men.
 
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yeah i second that.... Not all men are cheap fucks. Some can contain the primal urges. Although that being said yes its true that men do have a fascination with breasts (i have no fucking idea why but check out some of frued's theories for a guess) and yeah when a chick comes out wearing something a hooker would wear then whats gunna happen ?? shes gunna get looked at like a hooker.

Uberskippy half that post made absoloutley no sense... Quality points.. what the fuck.... and there is a point when small breasts are nowhere near as good as average/large ones. A womens not exactly gunna go 'oh he has the smallest cock in history but At least it has soo many quality points'
 
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dilmanator said:
yeah i second that.... Not all men are cheap fucks. Some can contain the primal urges. Although that being said yes its true that men do have a fascination with breasts (i have no fucking idea why but check out some of frued's theories for a guess) and yeah when a chick comes out wearing something a hooker would wear then whats gunna happen ?? shes gunna get looked at like a hooker.
I know not all guys are like that, but it seems like a lot of them are.

BTW: I don't dress like a two dollar hooker. In fact, far from it. :)
 

skully

GO BEARS!!!!
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#9
stares at zc's boobies

/me gehts ready to geht eyes ripped out.


other than that....this was really hillarious. Im waiting for the next series of the gene pool.
however, I have a theory of the love for boobies. When you are small, we drink milk from our mothers breasts(in most cases). When girls grow older, they havfe their own breasts, so they geht used to it and mostly dont stare at other girls chests. However, our moobies arent that fun to play with....were just used to the presence of boobies. Therefore we quench our thirst for boobies by looking, adoring and squezing(wttf is the spelling) them.

So girls you shouldnt feel angry or frustrated when we look at your boobies, instead feel happy and proud that we love them.
 

meh_it_all

WTF.com Sexy Pimp-ette.
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Yey! Another gene pool thingy by Uber.
Funney..:)

I only mind when a person stares that I don't like, and if I don't, I'll just kick them in the shin.

Uber: "Again! Again - I want a new chlorine for the gene pool"
 

Piro

From appaled to applauding, controversy.
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#11
Good stuff. I too prefer petite to gargantuan.

I'm very good a keeping eye contact when engaging in a conversation with the opposite gender. But when she ain't looking or distracted, that's a different matter.

Anyways, doctors say looking at boobies is infact good for you! By doing so, it raises your blood pressure and heart rate, helping to maintain a healthy heart!

So, fellow gentlemen, keep looking...sorry ladies, but it's for a good cause; a healthier nation :D
 

Outlawed

Postaholic
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#12
To me big tits say just look at me i can't say no. I don't give 3 shits if they are fake or not. If they are real than good for them.
 

meh_it_all

WTF.com Sexy Pimp-ette.
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DotCom said:
To me big tits say just look at me i can't say no. I don't give 3 shits if they are fake or not. If they are real than good for them.
Yes.. coming from a 14 year olds mind, of course you wouldn't know better. :rolleyes:
 
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Uber, the only problem I have with your argument is when you said something about not wearing our purse strap between our breasts. I'm sorry, but where the hell else are we supposed to put it?! If the purse has a long enough strap to be worn there than most likely it's going to fall off the shoulder if put there, and it gets in the way of our arm movement. So, the best solution? Put the strap over our head so it's going from one shoulder to the the hip on the opposite side, frees up our hands and arm movement, and it doesn't fall off.
Now, I don't really care if a guy stares at my chest because, personally, I've never noticed any guy doing it. It's always been something I've heard other girls complain about but never had any experience with. *shrugs* Maybe I just find all the guys who don't look, or they sneak peeks while I'm not paying attention (which is most of the time, so I could see how I would miss it). Anyway, even if I did catch them it wouldn't bother me. Boys will be boys, and besides, ladies, if you find a guy attractive don't you check out his butt as he's walking past? I do, I'll freely admit that.
 

Fire_ze_Missles

Martha Fuckin' Stewart
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LIES!

We don't look at the boobies!

Okay, maybe I am liar. :)

But in all fairness ladies; I know that women check out a guy's package (assuming he's not wearing those extremely large, and retarded, pants that can hold 5 people). It's just natural to stare at something that you don't have! :)
 

BklynCannonball

pffffffffffttttttttttt...
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zoloftcasserole said:
Whatever. Next guy I catch staring at my tits will have his eyeballs ripped out and handed to him. That "don't show them off" argument is crap. Just cause you noticed them, that doesn't mean we're showing them off. Furthermore: men don't have tits, so they shouldn't tell us women not to get mad if they stare at them. They don't understand what it's like. It gets really fucking old after awhile. When you have guys staring at your chest like you're a two dollar hooker ten times a day, then you can tell me all about how I should feel. Til then, just....no.

Okay: Flame away. :rolleyes:
Oh come on Zoloft, lighten up. It does get a little awkward depending on how they're staring but whatever dude, we got 'em they like 'em, if they're not drooling all over them with their eyes, then it's all good.

And guys as far as big boobs, pffft....they come in all shapes and all sizes and I love them all.

Hurray for boobies and brains and a sense of humor and eyes and lips and you know what...as a matter of fact, hurray for women, the whole damn package, inside and out!
 

OmegaZeto

Eyeless Pilot
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I like boobies. That said, huge tits is more of a "fantasy" thing, where a guy might fantasize about huge'uns, but in reality' it's not so attractive. Tehy always look stretched, with huge nipples, and ALWAYS saggy. Of course I'm talking about only NATURAL breasts, since fake tits are an automatic skank-alert in my book.
My wife never feels like her breasts are not good enough to me. I snuggle up to her chest all the time and let her know.
 

UberSkippy

a.k.a. FuckTheBullShit
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zoloftcasserole said:
Whatever. Next guy I catch staring at my tits will have his eyeballs ripped out and handed to him. That "don't show them off" argument is crap. Just cause you noticed them, that doesn't mean we're showing them off. Furthermore: men don't have tits, so they shouldn't tell us women not to get mad if they stare at them. They don't understand what it's like. It gets really fucking old after awhile. When you have guys staring at your chest like you're a two dollar hooker ten times a day, then you can tell me all about how I should feel. Til then, just....no.

Okay: Flame away. :rolleyes:
Z, first off you know I'm only joking right? Secondly there's a difference between looking at your boobs and talking to your chest.

dilmanator said:
Uberskippy half that post made absoloutley no sense... Quality points.. what the fuck.... and there is a point when small breasts are nowhere near as good as average/large ones. A womens not exactly gunna go 'oh he has the smallest cock in history but At least it has soo many quality points'
Maybe you're just new but you seem to have missed the point of the Chlorine for the Gene Pool posts anyway. That's ok, but you should go read the other ones. I think you'll realise I'm not serious.

tiger_86 said:
Uber, the only problem I have with your argument is when you said something about not wearing our purse strap between our breasts. I'm sorry, but where the hell else are we supposed to put it?! If the purse has a long enough strap to be worn there than most likely it's going to fall off the shoulder if put there, and it gets in the way of our arm movement. So, the best solution? Put the strap over our head so it's going from one shoulder to the the hip on the opposite side, frees up our hands and arm movement, and it doesn't fall off.
It's also safer to carry I know. I just went off on that tangent because I saw a whole slew of women wearing their purses that way and being snotty bitches.


And don't worry folks, there will be more nonesense rantings from me.
 
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UberSkippy said:
Z, first off you know I'm only joking right? Secondly there's a difference between looking at your boobs and talking to your chest.
Uber: - I know my reply said "you (this)", "you (that)", but I wasn't specifically referring to you. I'm sorry if you thought so. -

Moving on....if being fed up with men looking at my chest makes me uptight, then so be it. I'm not backing down on this one. I don't care who it is-- some sloppy mouth-breathing goon, or a drop dead gorgeous stud--it pisses me off. I suppose it gets to me mostly because I work in the customer service industry and on top of all the other shit I have to take with a smile on a near-daily basis, there are creepy assholes who come into the hotel and hit on me. Then, if I don't giggle and play into it like they want me to, I have to worry about them telling my boss I was rude to them, and of course: "The customer is always right". :rolleyes: (I wish I were exaggerating about that, however I am not.) So yeah, that kind of makes it difficult to let shit slide outside of work.
 

Nailbomb

I'm just really nice.
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#20
zoloft, you need to start going to work drunk or something.
 
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