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Vin Diesel Facts

Dark_Era

Blunt Logic
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#1
Lately I've been hearing a lot of "Vin Diesel" jokes (I guess you could call them that) some are funny and some are lame I listed some of the ones that "I" felt where the funniest. You may or may not agree. Feel free to add some that I will surely fail to mention or make up some of your own.

1. Vin Diesel's semen is sold as one of Britain's favorite ales. 'The Real Ale Guide' describes 'Vin's Diesel' as, "lovingly crafted and perfectly balanced. It makes a wonderful accompaniment to traditional pub food, especially rump steak, burgers, and sausages."

2. The ripping-the-heart-out-of-the-chest scene in "Temple of Doom" was inspired by a Vin Diesel childhood story. Vin told Steven Spielberg that he performed the maneuver on his first grade teacher when the teacher erroneously gave Vin a "check minus" for a spelling grade. Vin spelled "serendipitously" correctly, but the teacher thought it was spelled "serendipidously". Vin spelled it aloud again in-between bites of Ms. Bennes' heart.

3. Vin Diesel is the one defending America from the metric system.

4. The end result of the game "Clue" is always the same: Vin Diesel was the murderer, it was in the orphanage, and the weapon was a hamster.

5. Vin Diesel once cut a hole in a watermelon and put it in the microwave for a minute or two. He removed it and checked the temp, it was just right. He then fucked the watermelon, this isn't so much as a random fact as it is, as Vin calls it, "A damn good idea".

Well not all of those are terribly funny but you get the idea. Add any if you feel so inclined
 

Icarus

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
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#2
I found this website and posted the link in IRC. Give me credit.

Edit:// When Vin Diesel goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

Vin Diesel was the hunter who shot Bambi's Mother. He then wore her carcass like it was a coat while he made his rounds at the local children's hospital.

When Vin Diesel was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Vin Diesel!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.

Vin Diesel once beat a unicorn to death with a hammock full of rocks.

Vin Diesel is on a first-name basis with Mr. T.

There is no "I" in team. There are two "I"s in Vin Diesel. Fuck you, team.

Vin Diesel invented cancer because he was tired of killing off people one by one.

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Vin Diesel allows to live.

Walking on water is an easy feat for Vin Diesel. What he really has difficulty with is climbing on fog.

Vin Diesel once met Fabio on the street. Vin burst into laughter, Fabio burst into tears, and every passing car burst into flames.

If you were to lock Vin Diesel in a room with a guitar, a year later you would have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the Grammy's. When asked why he doesn't do this Vin replied "Because Grammy's are for queers." then he ate a knife to show the seriousness of his response.

When Vin Diesel does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

There are way more :thumbsup:
 

wilko125

Rep My Post
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#3
lol
If you rearrange the letters in Vin Diesel it reveals his credo: "I End Lives."
ps u get rep, this site made me laugh a couple of times
 

OmegaZeto

Eyeless Pilot
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#4
This is so old. This is as old as Vin Diesel, and that's saying a LOT. He's so old, in fact, he once had a staring contest with the Sun, which he won of course. The result was that the sun lost a degree of brightness and God was forced to populate Earth, not Mars, as he had earlier planned.
 

Darklight

Oppressing your posts...
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#5
I cant say i found any of those funny...
 

gurlgonewild

Was machen Sie?
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#7
Fact about Vin Diesel, I love him *ahem for his body...but then he opens his mouth....talk about ruining my fantasy? Yep that pretty much sums him up for me.

:happysad: ;)
 

OmegaZeto

Eyeless Pilot
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#8
Hahaha I wish this was bait and tackle....
 

Darklight

Oppressing your posts...
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#9
vin diesel is great for his typecast.. He on the otherhand cannot pull off the Mr Mom role.. sorry vin.. Nor do I think I could see him in a strait comedy... perhaps an action comedy mix or something but not just a regular comedy like arnold went for in kindergarten cop..