WTF ... IS WTF!?
We are a collective of people who believe in freedom of speech, the rights of individuals, and free pancakes! We share our lives, struggles, frustrations, successes, joys, and prescribe to our own special brand of humor and insanity. If you are looking for a great place to hang out, make new friends, find new nemeses, and just be yourself, WTF.com is your new home.

Vote: First WTF Poet Laureate

Who will be the first WTF Poet Laureate?

  • 53V3N

    Votes: 14 48.3%
  • Aliensavant

    Votes: 15 51.7%

  • Total voters
    29
  • Poll closed .

Coa

Whore free since 2010.
3,979
3,153
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So last fall when I had more time (ugh studying 5-10 hours a day now) I ran a little series of workshops. I now present to you the winners of those workshops and ask you to cast your vote for your favorite poem.

Today I offer the winners of our individual workshops. Please read the winning work and then vote for the poet who you feel could best express what WTF.com and our user base are through poetry.

Voting will be open for one month and please offer congratulations to our final two: Aliensavant and 53V3N.

My Brother, who for too long I have not Mentioned

Coming home from the gym, my head aching over four wheel drive
(creaking to balance in seasonal use),
my brother comes to mind, the latter, first born.
He is clinically mad, but that doesn't make it any easier
to know him.
He bothers me when I'm around him. He has no sense
of space, clock time, volume, decorum,- hell, he's even half deaf.
He senses self, only, lonely, self-
immediate, needy, overfed and overindulgent Self.

Sometimes he is five and throwing temper tantrums over light sabers,
sometimes thirteen, doggedly pursuing some prototype of love,
or companionship,
and even twenty six at times, spoiling his daughter,
But he is always Self.
I hate that. It interrupts everything to be fulfilled.
He is nice enough,
but his Self is an overbearing dick.​
I ignore him, annoy him, yell back at him,
because It feels too close,
like myself, external:internal​
And that is what really bugs me,
because I'm helpless to change either.

Reflections of a Sub

Eating refrigerated french fries
watching a chemistry class tick away.
Cold potatoes, the fruits of my music major.
The reward for vanity, even well intended.

It's novel writing month, right?
I should probably get started.
Victore (silent "e"), Who, Daily, Listens to "Mon coeur s'ouvre a ta voix"

Victore, the clean space in
the vaguely settled dust,
the Sitter of the leather-arm chair
thinking with easy vigor.
Victore, his brow furrowed
(but not too deeply)
picturing his daily walk,
step by perfect step.

Victore pities each passerby,
weeps night and day, unending;​
such pitiful, sorrowful, grotesque monotony.
Even Buddhist are bored.
Victore alone hears the pain,
the pain of each doomed heart
who passes his daily path
and again the following.

Victore sees a woman now
who wore the same heels as before,
same roughly tied-back hair, empty-faced,
brown-eyed tragedy of life.
Victore leans back with a breath
of immense depth, to revel in
Victore's daily Messianic burden:
To release the children of death.

Victore is alone in Victore's vision
to release humanity of the dull-edged circle
By daring all to watch their backs
when they settle for breathing.
Victor has already changed history;
in barely a year, Victore(!)
raised the homicide rates by 2%
and nothing is common about that.
I feel like Rutger Hauer in LadyHawke.

I feel like Rutger Hauer in Ladyhawke
I only get to see you three days of the week
Can this shit rhyme or is it not supposed to rhyme?
It's like a concrete tree or a simile, these rules aplenty

There's a lot of fucking rules to this thing
Not to complain, that's not my intention
Like a... a uh... block of concrete made from a tree carved into the shape of George Castanza
Oh btw, what the fuck is a stanza?

Anyway, I'm not sure how a poem works
It's like a concrete thing with rules
But I'm like a metaphor
About something without rules.



It was the best example of a clear image I could find and there are boobs.

But I really wanted to tell you all
Something sentimental and cliche between a boy and a girl
Nothing yet concrete or solid
Only see each other three days out of the week
 

Aliensavant

Vexed
656
141
107
Seriously, if you want someone who will understand this website and effectively represent it, 5even is your guy. I've posted less than most first year posters and know no one. 5even's entry reminds me of why I like this website: Bunch of smart asses. I am just an ass.
If you pick me, the most I can promise to write something that rhymes on every thread I comment. But as far as capturing the essence of the website, I don't think I've got it.
 

53V3N

The slow blade penetrates the shield.
Premium
20,837
8,238
387
My poem was written by an idiot (as is evident) and does not even adhere to the rules clearly expressed in the OP of the contest thread. Although my intention at the time was to merely add content to get that "first post" in a contest out of the way, when I read it now it reads more like a mockery of this forum and The Writer's Block is one of my favorites.

Aliensavant is an amazing writer. I've been a fan of his since I joined. Not only are his original submissions sublime but his feedback to others is invaluable.

Mods have come and gone but Aliensavant is like the Godfather of The Writer's Block. He may not be a daily (or even weekly) visitor but he's never gone for long and he's always making great contributions to this forum whenever he's here.

If anyone deserves accolades, it's Aliensavant.
 

Aliensavant

Vexed
656
141
107
Well, this erection isn't just going to take care of itself.
I can't like this post because it's aimed at me (or at least, it looks to be vaguely pointing in my direction cause you got that bend). Otherwise, clever sir. Clever.
 

53V3N

The slow blade penetrates the shield.
Premium
20,837
8,238
387
Would you look at this?

Seriously though, the rules clearly stated that clear imagery was to be used in the poem and instead, I posted a picture. That's fucking retarded.

Vote Aliensavant.

This message was brought to you by Common Sense.
 

Aliensavant

Vexed
656
141
107
Seriously though, the rules clearly stated that clear imagery was to be used in the poem and instead, I posted a picture. That's fucking retarded.
You entered, people liked it (including me), stop crying when you're the one who dropped the soap.
 

gehtfuct

HuGE
Staff
9,451
2,151
537
I voted 53V3N. I mean seriously... What has the Obama Administration done for anyone? Short of GOP target practice, the Democratic party has supplied NOTHING in another 4 year term here in..... ?? Hold up. Wrong thread!



I voted 53V3N. He is just a little guy and he is my Man.