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Nothing against your story - it's funny (everyone needs to have a "one time my buddy passed out we did insert horrible thing here to him..." story), but what the fuck's up with people keeping their damn dogs in cages?
Lets see "Muffdiver" and "cockmunchers", dude I could use you in the whore house.
Two things.. Caps lock is on the left above shift; turn it off! The backspace but is top right. Hunt and peck one finger typist these days..