What made you smile today? [2020-2022]

BeautifulSniper

Lovely and deadly
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I heard something at work I probably didn't need to hear today but it entertained me. I was outside smoking a cigarette. Apparently Disarray is messing around with ThunderCunt's man and ThunderCunt was talking shit about Disarray.

*she's a homewrecking fucking whore
*she has a crooked fucking leg and can't even walk straight
*(something about her painted-on fucking eyebrows)
*it's no wonder why she's been single for so fucking long and can't keep a man
*if i see her in public, i'll kick her fucking ass. she's messing with the wrong fucking person
*if i see her car, i'll shit on her door handle

lotsa lulz
If somebody slept with my partner, I'd be pissed too.
 

Piro

From appaled to applauding, controversy.
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I heard something at work I probably didn't need to hear today but it entertained me. I was outside smoking a cigarette. Apparently Disarray is messing around with ThunderCunt's man and ThunderCunt was talking shit about Disarray.

*she's a homewrecking fucking whore
*she has a crooked fucking leg and can't even walk straight
*(something about her painted-on fucking eyebrows)
*it's no wonder why she's been single for so fucking long and can't keep a man
*if i see her in public, i'll kick her fucking ass. she's messing with the wrong fucking person
*if i see her car, i'll shit on her door handle

lotsa lulz
Either that chap relaying this is scornfully in love with her or hasn't been laid in months. Either case, scornful. That being said, uni brows are weird 😂
 

BeautifulSniper

Lovely and deadly
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This afternoon at work I took a shit in the bathroom. When I flushed the toilet, the water turned my poop into a large amount of shitty water, and clogged the toilet. Thankfully nobody else was in the bathroom. That toilet always clogs, but today it was completely disgusting. I left hoping that the janitors would fix it, but they didn't come. I came back after an hour had passed and a crowd from the night shift walked in. Most of them were quiet, but one of them opened the stall door and yelled out "Oh, God!". LMFAO!
 

TheRover

Mostly_Liquid
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OMFG I got free electric..

So... there was a power cut in the entire street the other day.. at first I thought it was just for me and I started pushing random buttons on my electric metre . When electric come back couple hours later the screen of my electric metre is completely blank, like imagine when your phone dies.. in any case my electrics not running out and I’ve not bought any in 3 days and had my heaters on constantly 😃
 

BeautifulSniper

Lovely and deadly
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OMFG I got free electric..

So... there was a power cut in the entire street the other day.. at first I thought it was just for me and I started pushing random buttons on my electric metre . When electric come back couple hours later the screen of my electric metre is completely blank, like imagine when your phone dies.. in any case my electrics not running out and I’ve not bought any in 3 days and had my heaters on constantly 😃
You should talk to your electric company about it first. They might take action against you.
 

CoprophagousCop

¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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OMFG I got free electric..

So... there was a power cut in the entire street the other day.. at first I thought it was just for me and I started pushing random buttons on my electric metre . When electric come back couple hours later the screen of my electric metre is completely blank, like imagine when your phone dies.. in any case my electrics not running out and I’ve not bought any in 3 days and had my heaters on constantly 😃
You should have remembered what buttons you pressed, so that you can press them in the future to get free electricity again.

Wait, why does your electric meter have buttons?
 

ib4

Error
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Removed my 27 in 4k IPS and added a LG 48 inch OLED! This thing is optimized for gaming and pc performance though! Its 120hz and has gaming optimization and FreeSync Premium built in. Very happy with it especially since I starting playing my first Witcher game recently!1.png
 

Scooter

Roll me up and smoke me when I die.
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I had to work 8 days this week but it's over with and I have 2 days off. I'm not sure how I feel about having Friday and Saturday off from work but I have beer to drink, new music to listen to, food to make ... and whatever the fuck else I feel like doing.
 

CoprophagousCop

¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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Itching my athletes foot just now, good lord why does it feel SO good oh wow need a cigarette
I had athlete's foot when I was a kid and had to change in the school locker room for gym class. My parents bought me some spray to put on the bottom of my feet when I went to bed, but I figured it would just rub off, so I would put masking tape on my feet to cover the spray. I discovered that the masking tape alone did more to heal my feet than the spray. Maybe it deprived the fungi of oxygen. After I no longer had to change in the locker room, the athlete's foot disappeared completely in a couple of months and never returned. Where are you going barefoot where other people go barefoot? Whenever I stay in a hotel, I wear flip-flops in the shower. Do you need to clean your own shower floor better? Smoking is bad for your health. Maybe putting a lit cigarette on your athlete's foot would feel SO good.
 

Scooter

Roll me up and smoke me when I die.
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Today was alright. Inventory was good. (we passed with 3.5% shrink/loss) I didn't have to work too hard but I did my fair share. I'm home early in the afternoon with beer and pizza to enjoy the rest of the day.
 

BeautifulSniper

Lovely and deadly
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I'm glad I'm home now and get to relax. Work got tiring towards the end and I dropped my knife somewhere at work, losing it in the process.