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sibireus, i hate to be the first to reply to your cry for advice, because i HAVE been in your situation (minus the linguistic context) and i DO understand and empathize more than you realize. oh, wait, i guess i should say "realise" for you, but i know you already know i speak american english.
regardless, here's my honest-to-goodness advice for you:
never stop thinking about who you are, now that you are aware that who you are does not automatically fit the norm you're being asked to fit. that in mind, bend to be ABLE to fit the norm, but retain the real you. do the things you enjoy, but try - and i should have done more of this when younger - to culture the capacity to focus on a boring task longer, or to force yourself to practice the native tongue there in norway. find a friend to coach your language. i've had two romanian girlfriends, for example, who loved me to death for my way of helping them find the right words for random things in english.
while you try to learn to bend to fit their mold, ask yourself whether it's something you want to continue to grow. think of different aspects of yourself like different crops on a farm. you may want to allocate more space on the farm to things you like, but it may prove more practical in your future to allocate more space to other things. often times, expected and desire for internal growth conflict.
at 16, it's more like "all the time" than "often times."
you sound exactly like me. when impassioned about my work, i'll do amazing things. when i have no emotional desire to do the work, it comes out tremendously mediocre -- and did i mention i put that stuff off until THE VERY LAST MINUTE?
i bet it sounds familiar. are you an only child? not only do your parents seem close-minded, it sounds like you have a doting mother. learn to zone her out when you can or emotionally have to. learn to go through the motions that show them respect but to keep enough self-respect to let go of it when they do or say something that bothers you -- their control over you diminishes as you age and you'll feel better over time.
it also sounds to me like they're afraid they'll lose some aspect of their previous culture if they start doing trendy modern things. i don't know if that's got anything to do with you or the issue, but it's definitely a feeling i'm getting in response to your bit about your parents.
anyway, here's the summary:
metacognition is what will carry you through this awkward part of your life. you know some of your internal processes; now get really familiar with all of them: how do you think when you think about things? not about the things themselves, but about your style of thought. how do you allow your emotions to guide your responses to things? etc. learn when and how to manage these things appropriately and you'll be able to better fit into the culture there (let's face it, half of you wants to and the other half doesn't want to make the effort but still recognizes the reward of fitting in).
best of all, good luck, and nice meeting you here.
I'm 16, from America, and I don't know what the heck I'm going to do with my life either. Plus being a girl, feeling highly unattractive, and not being very popular does wonders to your self esteem. I feel for you. Good luck and keep ranting.
best advice i can give you is....take advantage of all this ...dont look at the downside of things....you are in a position to learn three different languages...practice their culture....try to learn as much as possible...like morelos said...practice their native tounge....to me 16 is still a tad to young to move out ...or anything drastic like that...i feel you for the parents situation too...i too have overprotective old fashioned parents...you just need to tough it out for the next few years....as you grow old...it'll get better....anyways...good luck man....take care...oh and send some hot norwegian[sp?] over...
Now that I'm 16 and have some basic understanding of what this world is really like, I ask myself, "Now what"? Everyone has to find their path in life, and the only problem is that for some people it's more difficult than for the others. I'm one of them.
About me. A guy, 16 years old. My family has moved to Norway when I was 12, so I had to start at an International School because English was the only language I could speak, not counting my mother tongue. The level at which they teach you is much lower than at my old school, so in 4 years it has been made impossible for me to go back to my country and study like the rest, I've gone too far behind them.
A language has been a problem as well. In Russia, where I lived before I had to study 3 languages - Russian, English and German. Mostly because of my German teacher being a fucking retard i forgot the whole thing in about 2 weeks. Then here in Norway I has to study 2 more - Norwegian and French. Of course it's been quite tough so even now I can't speak fluid Norwegian, which makes it impossible for me to communicate with people normally.
I am lazy, but whenever it comes to doing something interesting, something that i like, I'm unstoppable. I don't hate school, i just always thought that it's not worth spending too much time studying and doing all that homework bullshit. I tried to do all the homework at school, never studied for the tests, but nevertheless got good grades. I simply could not be bothered to revise for any of my final grade 10 exams. My grades were okay, but not good enough to get into the next International Education level shit.
I am quite sporty, like to bike, roller blade, I played hockey for 3 years, gone to a karate section for 4 years. Probably, life in Norway has changed me the most. I started to like punk rock (blink 182, sum 41, etc), stopped watching TV. I don't give a shit about what's happening out there. I live with the present, not the past, and don't try to look into the future too much. I hate trends, fashion and other bullshit like that. I like to read fantasy books, I enjoy watching sci-fi, fantasy and teen movies.
My parents are different. They are extremely old-fashioned, none of them even know how to send a fucking sms from a mobile phone. They hate the movies I watch, hate the music I listen. They are both cleaning freaks. They don't understand that playing computer games is fun. I've went to see a movie in the cinema with them only once, and they both said it sucked. My mom loves me, but sometimes it goes too far, she just cares wat TOO MUCH about me. Brush your teeth, make the bed, do this, do that - that kind of shit goes on every day. My dad is okay, except for most of the times he talks to me is to criticize me. Otherwise he only talks to me when he's in good mood.
Maybe I spent a bit too much time at the computer, having to run and look after a several sites. My parent's don't like that either.
Now my parent's business isn't going well, so we might be moving back to Russia any time. And that is when I ask myself, what the fuck am i supposed to do? My habits, my personality, my favors and dislikes, of that shit has been formed here in Norway. The life in Russian is just completely different from what I am used to. I won't be able to study like everyone else because of the Russian programme is way higher than in Norwegian school. I don't have any friends there. I feel empty, i don't know what to do, what to expect and what too look for. Every single day is a junction, when one thing can happen to change everything.
You'd ask, why am I writing this? Simply because around me there is not single person that fully understands the situation I'm in. My friends only care about daily things, what food they eat, how they look, etc. And I know that telling your problems to someone makes you feel better.
Also, I'd like to ask for advise. What would you do in my situation?
Well, that's about it. Sorry all my moaning being so long, I just had to get this shit over with.
You don't have a FUCKING clue......SHUT UP....Your still popin pimples and jerkin your cud all day......I love it when the youngsters say "Now that I'm 16 and have some basic understanding of what this world is".....
Sibireus. As stated, yes you are young. However, you pretty much have the knowledge about life that I have as a 23 year old. Not much older, no, but still a little older. Life fucking sucks, I can't figure out what the hell I'm doing in mine either and it's driving me up the fucking wall. I'd like to end it and start over, but that's for another post. In any case, you have a lot of time to make life work for you. So you do not fit into the status quo. That's good. Screw them, do what you're gonna do. Learn the 3 languages fluently. It's something that you will never regret. Plus, chicks dig it...I know I do. So, hold your head high, think as positively as you can. Worship yourself like no one ever could and go out there and kick ass.
This message brought to you by a strange, decrepit, Tigredragon.
at work today, somebody came up to me and we started chatting about how fucking hot it was and how much i hated working in the heat. his last statement was "It's life." my first thought was "Yeah... and it will be for another 50 years when i retire." then i started thinking about "life." what it is... living your life as you are told, not as how you want... giving your money to some guy sitting on his fat lazy ass in a chair 4000 miles away, who you're probably never going to see... living by people telling you what to do and when to do it. if that's "life" then i want no part of it. i just want everybody to leave me alone, but that isn't going to happen.
As a matter of fact, i tend to read a lot. And since most of the books i read describe the world in an alternative way, i start to think about things that usually don't bother people my age. I don't believe in fate or destiny, but i think of what is probable and what is possible. I a lot about my own emotions, I have learned the way my mind works, but yet I was not able to change it the way I want.
It's interesting sometimes to go out and look at people's faces. They say that one's eyes is a mirror of one's soul. How right that is, sometimes it a by-passers's eyes you can read way more than that person wants you to.
You are right, I am an only child. I always leave things 'till the last minute, not matter what it is - eating breakfast or a Personal Project at school that I was given 6 months to complete, and which I did in 1 day at school. Anyway, morelos, what you wrote is the best piece of advice I've got so far, whether it was my parents of my friends. Thank you.
Life is a weird thing, after all, and you have to face many things throughout it. What will come, will come, and you have to face it when it does.
siberius - just be patient with life, be patient with yourself, and be patient with those around you. seriously, i've wanted to blow up at this or that or even just something out of principle, but the bottom line is it won't get you anywhere and if you choose to fight in ALL the battles you just may lose the war.
thanks for the compliment; i understand your situation greatly and found that just waiting it out really is not only the only solution, but quite an effective one when it boils down to it.
don't give up trying; try to be you and try to bend. it's good for you.