WTF ... IS WTF!?
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what the...?

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#1
yesterday i was all alone eating bon bons, and all of a sudden this squirrel came flying through my window. the bastard stole all of my bon bons and slapped me in the face? what do i do? my pastor said, "All you can do is get on your knees and pray." I have done that, and still no bon bons......
 
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#3
but the squirrel has an arsenal consiting of horshoes and handgrenades, i doubt he'll miss.
 

icka

fuckoffanddiekthx!
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#4
be very careful, squirrels are trickey little critters!
 
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#7
CuddleMuffin said:
How the fuck does a squirl have enough sense to slap someone in the face?
you know, i asked myself the same question, but i just ended up slapping myself in the face.
 

msalyss85

Banned - What an Asshat!
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#8
OMFG I hate squirrels. Here at my college in Philly, they like soar out of the trashcans and scare the shit outta you!

On a side note, I poured my water on one of those little bastards today.

Showed him... :p
 

Smoke

Banned - What an Asshat!
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#9
I had a squirrel bite my hand when I was 5. Ever since then, I've hated those things with a passion.
 

EMTPIXIE

Clitpickle
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#10
Omicronic said:
yesterday i was all alone eating bon bons, and all of a sudden this squirrel came flying through my window. the bastard stole all of my bon bons and slapped me in the face? what do i do? my pastor said, "All you can do is get on your knees and pray." I have done that, and still no bon bons......
Ok...here's my question....WTF would a squirrel want with bon bons? Are you sure those weren't spiked bon bons you were eating?
 
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#11
Omicronic said:
yesterday i was all alone eating bon bons, and all of a sudden this squirrel came flying through my window. the bastard stole all of my bon bons and slapped me in the face? what do i do? my pastor said, "All you can do is get on your knees and pray." I have done that, and still no bon bons......
hire a mercenary chicken to hunt down the squirrel and get your bon bons back.
 

gurlgonewild

Was machen Sie?
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#13
Squirrels have sweet tooths, good to know.
You do know if you were to fuck with them, they'll send their entire family after you.
And then no more bon bons for you!

Confucious says: Thieves are nothing but rats in disguise.
 

PantherNews

Newsroom Thats Pissed!!
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#15
Well if you really want to take care of the squirrel then poison seems the best way to handle it. Just leave a poisoned bon bon on the table by the window then laugh maniacally when the squirrel take it and BAM! No more pesky squirrel problem and you get the rest of the bon bons to yourself.
 

dustinzgirl

Banned - What an Asshat!
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#16
ChilianFuckFace said:
go to the store, buy more... close your window... kill the squirrel!
And your internet connection for starting this silliness...

Anyhoo,

squirells respond well to .22 and bb guns, CO2. I used to get five bucks for everyone I killed at my grandads.

Yes, start the redneck jokes, and fuck off.
 

Icarus

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
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#17
Step one: steal back bon-bons

Step two: eat every bon-bon (even the ones the squirrel has chewed on)

Step three: contract bubonic plague

Step four: relax
 

Domo

Fresh Meat
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#18
No, see. What you do is this: When that squirrel comes back, you leave the window open again... he comes in, you grab him and slap him in the face a few times, screaming obscene things. Then be all like: "YO BEOTCH, I WANT U 2 GET MAH BON BONZ. NOW GO TO DA STO AND GET ME SOME, HO". Then kick his ass out the window. And hope you're like, on the second story of your house... If that's the case, he'll like, die. Hopefully. Then go get yourself some more damn bon bons.
 
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#19
Domo said:
No, see. What you do is this: When that squirrel comes back, you leave the window open again... he comes in, you grab him and slap him in the face a few times, screaming obscene things. Then be all like: "YO BEOTCH, I WANT U 2 GET MAH BON BONZ. NOW GO TO DA STO AND GET ME SOME, HO". Then kick his ass out the window. And hope you're like, on the second story of your house... If that's the case, he'll like, die. Hopefully. Then go get yourself some more damn bon bons.
what if it's a flying squirrel?
 
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#20
When I was five years old or so, I asked my grandma if I could pet a squirrel, and she said it would bite my hand off. So for the next year or so, I was afraid of squirrels. The moral of the story is, squirrels suck.