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Which Office Moron Are You?

dustinzgirl

Banned - What an Asshat!
26,094
178
0
#1
Which Office Moron Are You?

http://rumandmonkey.com/widgets/tests/officemoron/

You've been here since the dawn of time itself, old timer, and you've been biding your time with your eye on the boss's job.

You deserved to have a promotion. You've been here longer than anyone else. Your fingers have become craggy, and you see Excel spreadsheets when you go to sleep at night. More than half your life has been spent at budget meetings, advertising liason sessions, team-building seminars and pub lunches with people you hate. Yet for some reason you've been passed over every time in favour of younger, less competent workers.

No more. You're at the end of your tether. Where's your gold watch? Where's your acknowledgement? Your raises? When does your time come around?

Your time is now, hombre.

Holy shit that is sooooooooooooo me. I fucking hate, hate, hate most of my coworkers, esp the new kids. esp. the dumb new kids. esp the christmass temps that are dumber than fuck and bitch about long hours. esp the boss who asks me how my day is going. I am here 12 hrs a day, 5 days a week, how the FUCK do you think it is going?????????????????

ahhh, i feel better now.
 

Descent

Hella Constipated
7,686
109
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#2
I'll smoke you a kipper, because you'll be back for breakfast. You're the cult television show quoting, user account deleting, soap loathing IT Manager.
Something in your childhood has made you the way you are. You've been hired to provide a service to everyone else in the office - you make the computers run, and you make them run well. You've streamlined everything; you've removed all the viruses and installed all the firewalls. The only trouble - the only hole in your veneer of digital perfection - is the way you laugh at everyone.
If someone doesn't know UNIX, you laugh at them. If they lose their password, they laugh at them. If they visit a website using Microsoft Internet Explorer and their computer succumbs to an Internet worm, you laugh. Then you take a swig of your Coke, and with another hearty chuckle tell all your friends on IRC about the idiots you have to deal with.
Maybe it makes you feel better about yourself, although let's face it, you don't need help in that department. You're great, you. Fantastic like burning cool. If only those luddite office fools would let you play Unreal Tournament in peace.


"He's Nick Burns, your company's computer guy!"

"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVE!"
 

BklynCannonball

pffffffffffttttttttttt...
3,452
0
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#3
Obviously I'm not supposed to work in an office:

Stop crying, little one. You're the disarmingly young temp.

You had to get some kind of job when you left school, and nobody's willing to pick up a fresh-faced graduate and give them an amazing job. Not unless they're some kind of genius, anyway, and even then it's unlikely because geniuses make people uneasy. Clever people do not fit in offices.

So you're a temp. Working from short contract to short contract, dodging your officemates' condascending glances, you hope one day to have a real job. Until then, the fact that you look about twelve makes you an easy target both for tea-making duties and the perverted old boss.
 

lady victoria

Too old for this shit!
Premium
2,867
39
187
#4
Congratulations, you're the paranoid boss.

All these people around you .. they're necessary, sure, but they need to be watched. They could rise through the ranks like a crushing army of office ninjas; highly skilled human resources, trained in the art of doing things well, ready to usurp you.

Be ready. Claim credit for their work. Squish them down at every possible opportunity. Screw them over. Don't give them enough money. Ensure your reign will last for a thousand years, but never, ever let them think they can compete.;)
 

Kiwi

Tal'chak'amel
2,445
55
112
#5
"The paranoid boss is watching you. HIDE YOUR CHILDREN"

hehehe I am the Paranoid Boss :D
 

JLXC

WTF's Official Conspiracy Fanatic
Premium
7,550
264
302
#6
I'm the Old-Timer.

Silly test, worth a ... meh. (not related to Meh it all, just a sound others can make too)
 

Icarus

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
6,775
251
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#7
You had to get some kind of job when you left school, and nobody's willing to pick up a fresh-faced graduate and give them an amazing job. Not unless they're some kind of genius, anyway, and even then it's unlikely because geniuses make people uneasy. Clever people do not fit in offices.

So you're a temp. Working from short contract to short contract, dodging your officemates' condascending glances, you hope one day to have a real job. Until then, the fact that you look about twelve makes you an easy target both for tea-making duties and the perverted old boss.
 
4,020
0
36
#9
Stop crying, little one. You're the disarmingly young temp.

You had to get some kind of job when you left school, and nobody's willing to pick up a fresh-faced graduate and give them an amazing job. Not unless they're some kind of genius, anyway, and even then it's unlikely because geniuses make people uneasy. Clever people do not fit in offices.

So you're a temp. Working from short contract to short contract, dodging your officemates' condascending glances, you hope one day to have a real job. Until then, the fact that you look about twelve makes you an easy target both for tea-making duties and the perverted old boss.

:happysad: