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Who Farted?

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#1
Hey, here's an original.. inspired by an actual event during Rita. Share an event, situation, place, etc. of a time where you or someone you know (or don't know) farted, and it stunk like hell. (elevator, bedroom with spouse, with a friend, resturant, etc.. be creative)

I'll begin this shit.

During (and after) Hurricane Rita, there was no air conditioning, and too much rain to open a window, thus causing no circulation for air. If anyone farted, you'd either have to evacuate the room and go elsewere, or just deal with it (because only 1 room had a TV in it). So, we all ate something that created an extreme flatulation situation (we don't know exactly what, but we think it was special K cereal) and when the lights went out, there was only one place to be in because it was the coolest and had a TV - the living room. holy fuck.. it stunk. like rotten ass. and the worst part was there was no ventilation so it just lingered until it eventually sought presence in the entire house. I let a couple loose myself, and i can't say they were too fresh. :D
 

BklynCannonball

pffffffffffttttttttttt...
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#3
Church....stunk so bad they opened all the windows. My sister looked at me and we both started laughing. She knew.
 

Darklight

Oppressing your posts...
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#4
BklynCannonball said:
Church....stunk so bad they opened all the windows. My sister looked at me and we both started laughing. She knew.
and the lord said... "damn... thats funk"
 

BklynCannonball

pffffffffffttttttttttt...
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#5
Yeah. To this day that's my greatest fart achievement. Haven't been able to top it. It STuuuuuuuuUNK!
 

TheUltimateDrew

Ultimate of Ultimates
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#6
Farting in church. Nice.


I have a few better fart stories, but I'm tired (it's 2:50 AM), and this is all I could think of. I was in Science class one day, and I dropped my pen. I leaned over to pick it up, and I aacidentally let one loose. Luckily, only the guy sitting next to me heard it, and I know him pretty well, but it was still a bit of an embarrasing moment.

Smelled a bit funky too.
 
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#7
i remember this kid in my biology class who would always cut em loose. this kid was unique. like.. it would singe the nose hairs and melt the eyes. everyone knew it was him, and when they'd tell him something, he'd get really defensive and shit.. like "IT'S JUST A FART, and a FART IS NATURAL. STOP LAUGHING." the teacher of course couldn't help but laugh.
 

void

Banned - What an Asshat!
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#8
pussy farts are the best..
floppy lipped fucked pussy farts.
but not in my face, that isn't ok..
 

esxho

Dude, wot does mine say!?
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#9
There is a hall full of at least 400 ppl, it's all quiet as we wait for the headteacher to begin talking and all of a sudden the person next to me let out the most high pitched squeeker known to human kind! As everyone looks round the person that did it pointed at me! I was then kicked out of the hall in front of 399 ppl for causing disruption!!

:rolleyes: the moral is . . always wear ear defenders
 
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#10
Every male in my family is a freakin gas bag. Cripe, if they made a movie about my family, and the name weren't already taken, it would be called "A Mighty Wind". So obviously, I have many fart/poop stories.

However, there is one story that sticks out in my mind. It's the stuff of family legend.

Apparently when my parents moved in together, back in the good old 70's, my dad was quite the practical joker. One night he Dutch ovened my mom. He let a really nasty one go and told my mom there was a spider on the ceiling, so of course she freaked out and dove under the covers. :eek: Poor Mom!
 

Jugular

volatile
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#11
I farted while wearing headphones one time. Didn't know if it was silent or what. This one old guy kept staring at me though...I figured he did that anyways.




After all, we all know how irresistible to old people I can be.



1. Colloquially, a "game" in which one person traps another under a doona after a pungent rectal emission in order to "share" the odour.
WTF I thought urban dictionary was supposed to make things easier to understand.
 

latinmaxima

**SPECIAL**
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#12
me my brother and some friedns were playing dominoes on the porch a couple of summers ago in army housing. the dryer vent actually came out right next to the table we were playing at so he gets this idea to move the dryer and fart through the vent so we make like we are going to get some cokes to bring out to everyone while the stay there. we go in move the dryer and take the vent hose off. now i thought he was going to let a silent but deadly out but i be damned if he didn't just let it rip. it was so disgusting cause it was a long rip and then the air was leaking out if you now what i mean. it smelled horrible too. i only know i didnt hook anythign back up and left with my friends.
 

BklynCannonball

pffffffffffttttttttttt...
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#13
Just to add, I called a good friend of mine yesterday, apparently she had broccoli and beans with her dinner. We have this thing where we put the phone to our asses when we fart, well, she does it more than I do, needless to say, it was gut bustin'! She was rippin' 'em!
 

Nailbomb

I'm just really nice.
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#14
Two of my dogs farted while I was reading this very thread. It must be fate. :happysad:
 

Stardust

Being naked just feels so a-peeling
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#15
one fart that could kill everyone is kitty farts..they are silent..just a light *poooff* and it smells absolutely horrible..omg
 

BklynCannonball

pffffffffffttttttttttt...
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#17
Stardust said:
one fart that could kill everyone is kitty farts..they are silent..just a light *poooff* and it smells absolutely horrible..omg
Even more horrible is when stick their ass in your face and let one go.
 

Piro

From appaled to applauding, controversy.
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#18
If you've ever been to Britain you would of realized queues are a way of life over here.
Anyways, it was one of those hot, stale summer days without a breeze in the air.
We were in a theme park and about 150 people into the line. I had an upset stomach to say it politely. In other words, I was letting rip farts that could of woken up a corpse. I couldn’t stop. It was unbearable. My eyes were watering by the time we got to the rollercoaster, probably everyone else’s too. The ride “felt” good, but I couldn’t see shit though all the tears. :happysad: