The misinterpretiation of the Dutch community has forced me to recount my recent trip to Amsterdam...
Act I: Scene I
Our story begins with RedOctober sitting in a broke ass apartment in the Redlight District of Amsterdam, The erie red glow of his mother's own Light illuminates the darkenss and casts erie shadows on his "1337 r19".
<RedOctober> I'll just log onto the most dutchawsomest website ever conceived by man... *clickity clickity* *ding*...
(in a computer generated voice) You have sucessfully logged onto "Tulips in My Trousers.com"
<RedOctober> Alright... flower pron... (Red looks around to make sure his mother is busy, sees $2 American on the counter and knows his father is home) Ha, He'll keep her busy for all of 2 days!
(Three hours and 5 lbs. of Vaseline later)
<RedOctober> Man, I need some real action. *clickity clickity* *ding*
(In a really feminine computer voice) You have sucessfully logged into "TeenAngstGirliesWhoAreGonnaCutThemselvesUnlessTheyGetSome.com"
(Thirty Seconds Later)
<RedOctober> O Man, I thought I was so "1337", but I managed to get rejected by every little suicidal girly on the internet in less than a minute.
(sobbing)<RedOctober> Maybe I should just go back to my dike.
RedOctober tries and tries to log off of his computer, but a swirling vortex of recent stupidity has sucked him into the internet whole. When the room stops spinning, s/he realizes that s/he is indeed in the WTF.com Computing Chamber viewing some of the most pointless threads on the internet.
<RedOctober> Holy Sheet! I neever realised that someone vas vaurst at the interwebhighwaynetinformation than me, but thees Descent fellow.... vait, vat is dat veeling I am veeling? I veel all warm und vuzzy Eenzide. My Deutchness is cumming through... I cannot control it!
(enter: Descent/Jstager/duallytaker)
<RedOctober> Velcome into ze eart of mine Dezent... I am in love.
<Descent> Do you really think I can talk to someone as un1337 as you? Go and prove your 1337ness to me and I will be yours.
<RedOctober> Zo be it my wuv... I vill return...
(exit: RedOctober)
So, with a mission on his mind, RedOctober sets out to prove his 1337ness for the "wuv" of Descent.
Act I: Scene II
This scene begins with RedOctober feeling that posting threads about how much George Bush sucks will help him win the heard of his beloved Descent. After proving his supreme retardation to all the world, RedOctober returns to the Computer Chamber, bruised bloodied, and wanting more.
(enter: RedOctober, and Descent)
<Descent> Well, my little buddy, how has your 1337ness been going?
<RedOctober> I vear I have vailed you my wuv.
<Descent> Well honey, since my Rat has recently died... I have nothing that will crawl around in my ass... would you care to venture there?
<RedOctober> Vould jou let a poor Dutch son of a whore wuv jou that much?
<Descent> Of course... I'll do it for my country... In the name of international peace.
<RedOctober> Vell, bend over und gat reedy for zee dike plug.
<Descent> Treat my chocolate love cave like a... well treat it like a USB port... you can Plug & Play and I don't have to be turned off or on... I want you to hot swap your hard driver, from my piehole to my cornhole.
<RedOctober> I can du zat, and aftevards ve vill live happy every avter in my vindmill in ze middle of ze tulip vield.
<Descent> Easy there you dike diver, what are you talking about... commitment?
<RedOctober> Vy yes my wittle wuv clog ve vill be forever together.
<Descent> Nope, I don't think so you soft dicked wonder, your penis isn't large enough for my chodarific self, and besides I have just gone through a rough breakup with my rat.
(Descent kicks RedOctober in the taint for thinking about commitment, and RedOctober then runs away... to the Issues forum again.)
(exit: RedOctober, and Descent)
Act I: Scene I
Our story begins with RedOctober sitting in a broke ass apartment in the Redlight District of Amsterdam, The erie red glow of his mother's own Light illuminates the darkenss and casts erie shadows on his "1337 r19".
<RedOctober> I'll just log onto the most dutchawsomest website ever conceived by man... *clickity clickity* *ding*...
(in a computer generated voice) You have sucessfully logged onto "Tulips in My Trousers.com"
<RedOctober> Alright... flower pron... (Red looks around to make sure his mother is busy, sees $2 American on the counter and knows his father is home) Ha, He'll keep her busy for all of 2 days!
(Three hours and 5 lbs. of Vaseline later)
<RedOctober> Man, I need some real action. *clickity clickity* *ding*
(In a really feminine computer voice) You have sucessfully logged into "TeenAngstGirliesWhoAreGonnaCutThemselvesUnlessTheyGetSome.com"
(Thirty Seconds Later)
<RedOctober> O Man, I thought I was so "1337", but I managed to get rejected by every little suicidal girly on the internet in less than a minute.
(sobbing)<RedOctober> Maybe I should just go back to my dike.
RedOctober tries and tries to log off of his computer, but a swirling vortex of recent stupidity has sucked him into the internet whole. When the room stops spinning, s/he realizes that s/he is indeed in the WTF.com Computing Chamber viewing some of the most pointless threads on the internet.
<RedOctober> Holy Sheet! I neever realised that someone vas vaurst at the interwebhighwaynetinformation than me, but thees Descent fellow.... vait, vat is dat veeling I am veeling? I veel all warm und vuzzy Eenzide. My Deutchness is cumming through... I cannot control it!
(enter: Descent/Jstager/duallytaker)
<RedOctober> Velcome into ze eart of mine Dezent... I am in love.
<Descent> Do you really think I can talk to someone as un1337 as you? Go and prove your 1337ness to me and I will be yours.
<RedOctober> Zo be it my wuv... I vill return...
(exit: RedOctober)
So, with a mission on his mind, RedOctober sets out to prove his 1337ness for the "wuv" of Descent.
Act I: Scene II
This scene begins with RedOctober feeling that posting threads about how much George Bush sucks will help him win the heard of his beloved Descent. After proving his supreme retardation to all the world, RedOctober returns to the Computer Chamber, bruised bloodied, and wanting more.
(enter: RedOctober, and Descent)
<Descent> Well, my little buddy, how has your 1337ness been going?
<RedOctober> I vear I have vailed you my wuv.
<Descent> Well honey, since my Rat has recently died... I have nothing that will crawl around in my ass... would you care to venture there?
<RedOctober> Vould jou let a poor Dutch son of a whore wuv jou that much?
<Descent> Of course... I'll do it for my country... In the name of international peace.
<RedOctober> Vell, bend over und gat reedy for zee dike plug.
<Descent> Treat my chocolate love cave like a... well treat it like a USB port... you can Plug & Play and I don't have to be turned off or on... I want you to hot swap your hard driver, from my piehole to my cornhole.
<RedOctober> I can du zat, and aftevards ve vill live happy every avter in my vindmill in ze middle of ze tulip vield.
<Descent> Easy there you dike diver, what are you talking about... commitment?
<RedOctober> Vy yes my wittle wuv clog ve vill be forever together.
<Descent> Nope, I don't think so you soft dicked wonder, your penis isn't large enough for my chodarific self, and besides I have just gone through a rough breakup with my rat.
(Descent kicks RedOctober in the taint for thinking about commitment, and RedOctober then runs away... to the Issues forum again.)
(exit: RedOctober, and Descent)
