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Why the Dutch/French/Stupid Europeans suck.

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BrIONwoshMunky

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The misinterpretiation of the Dutch community has forced me to recount my recent trip to Amsterdam...

Act I: Scene I

Our story begins with RedOctober sitting in a broke ass apartment in the Redlight District of Amsterdam, The erie red glow of his mother's own Light illuminates the darkenss and casts erie shadows on his "1337 r19".

<RedOctober> I'll just log onto the most dutchawsomest website ever conceived by man... *clickity clickity* *ding*...

(in a computer generated voice) You have sucessfully logged onto "Tulips in My Trousers.com"

<RedOctober> Alright... flower pron... (Red looks around to make sure his mother is busy, sees $2 American on the counter and knows his father is home) Ha, He'll keep her busy for all of 2 days!

(Three hours and 5 lbs. of Vaseline later)

<RedOctober> Man, I need some real action. *clickity clickity* *ding*

(In a really feminine computer voice) You have sucessfully logged into "TeenAngstGirliesWhoAreGonnaCutThemselvesUnlessTheyGetSome.com"

(Thirty Seconds Later)

<RedOctober> O Man, I thought I was so "1337", but I managed to get rejected by every little suicidal girly on the internet in less than a minute.

(sobbing)<RedOctober> Maybe I should just go back to my dike.

RedOctober tries and tries to log off of his computer, but a swirling vortex of recent stupidity has sucked him into the internet whole. When the room stops spinning, s/he realizes that s/he is indeed in the WTF.com Computing Chamber viewing some of the most pointless threads on the internet.

<RedOctober> Holy Sheet! I neever realised that someone vas vaurst at the interwebhighwaynetinformation than me, but thees Descent fellow.... vait, vat is dat veeling I am veeling? I veel all warm und vuzzy Eenzide. My Deutchness is cumming through... I cannot control it!

(enter: Descent/Jstager/duallytaker)

<RedOctober> Velcome into ze eart of mine Dezent... I am in love.

<Descent> Do you really think I can talk to someone as un1337 as you? Go and prove your 1337ness to me and I will be yours.

<RedOctober> Zo be it my wuv... I vill return...

(exit: RedOctober)

So, with a mission on his mind, RedOctober sets out to prove his 1337ness for the "wuv" of Descent.

Act I: Scene II

This scene begins with RedOctober feeling that posting threads about how much George Bush sucks will help him win the heard of his beloved Descent. After proving his supreme retardation to all the world, RedOctober returns to the Computer Chamber, bruised bloodied, and wanting more.

(enter: RedOctober, and Descent)

<Descent> Well, my little buddy, how has your 1337ness been going?

<RedOctober> I vear I have vailed you my wuv.

<Descent> Well honey, since my Rat has recently died... I have nothing that will crawl around in my ass... would you care to venture there?

<RedOctober> Vould jou let a poor Dutch son of a whore wuv jou that much?

<Descent> Of course... I'll do it for my country... In the name of international peace.

<RedOctober> Vell, bend over und gat reedy for zee dike plug.

<Descent> Treat my chocolate love cave like a... well treat it like a USB port... you can Plug & Play and I don't have to be turned off or on... I want you to hot swap your hard driver, from my piehole to my cornhole.

<RedOctober> I can du zat, and aftevards ve vill live happy every avter in my vindmill in ze middle of ze tulip vield.

<Descent> Easy there you dike diver, what are you talking about... commitment?

<RedOctober> Vy yes my wittle wuv clog ve vill be forever together.

<Descent> Nope, I don't think so you soft dicked wonder, your penis isn't large enough for my chodarific self, and besides I have just gone through a rough breakup with my rat.

(Descent kicks RedOctober in the taint for thinking about commitment, and RedOctober then runs away... to the Issues forum again.)

(exit: RedOctober, and Descent)
 

BrIONwoshMunky

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#2
Act II: Scene I

Our local zero enters the forum hallway. He is dejected... having been rejected by the likes of Descent is now his low point. A serious case of blue-balls would be one cause for the serious lack of self worth, but without any balls... one can only wonder. Needing a lust for life, he once again jump back into the IssuesForum/shit-hole that he was at some point in time he felt at one with. Not knowing if the feeling came from the smell of ass or the texture of shit underclog, he returns... a lonely traveler to his lone destination... obscurity.

(enter: RedOctober, and Issues forum Mod, Maxpower)

<RedOctober> Vell my wuvly room, I am back...

<Max> STFU stupid clog wearin windmill jockey. Now get the fuck out before I sick Gehtfuct on you like your mom on a $20 John.

<RedOctober> Vat? Jou do not vant me here?

(Max reaches into the darkest depths of the internethighwayinformationcentersite and pulls out the Magic Mod Eraser and wipes all remnants of RedOctober off of the Forum... This cuts Red's post count to a grand total of 3 and sends him packing like the little Dutch/French/Stupid European s/he is.)

(exit: RedOctober)

<MaxPower> Now I know how Kit feels when she Mods without mercy! Mwah ah ha ah ha ha!!! All ISSUES posters fear me! Bwuahh ah ah ha ha ha

(exit: MaxPower)

Act II: Scene II

The rancid reject that this play if following has now been rejected by all that s/he has held holy. First little suicidal girls, then his one true love in life Descent, then the Forum he so loved and cherished... just like his lubed up clog. Hell, I'm the narrator and I hate he pathetic little dutch dike pluggin ass. Feeling the need to redeem himself, he ventures into hte wilderness of the Bait and Tackle forum. Home to creatures known to no man... the most ferocious of all the...

(enter: RedOctober)

<RedOctober> O no, I be scared... vittle Dutch boys in the vilderness... ziss alvays leads to trouble. I vill prevail... I am a Dutch zon of a whore.

<RedOctober> I vill use my extreme Dutchness und attempt to flame ze dum Amerikans.

Our little bastard of a dutch boy, walks right into the middle of a crowd of angry rabid Bait and Tackle posters. He attmepts to "flame" them with Anti-american jargon, bush bashing, and then the greatest one in the book, the "Ha ha I wanted you to flame me to prove my point that I am right", it didn't work. The already testy posters along with a few Mods, proceed to rip the little Dutch pincess apart limb for limb... leaving him a bloody assraped heap on the floor. Now BRiT has another mess to clean up... and another investigation to launch. Ever since that day, Johnny K has been walking around bow-legged with a smile of sheer satisfaction on his face. Tzedek mourned the loss of his long lost Dutch brother, and Dustinzgirl danced on his grave. DG, then popped a squat on his tombstone that read: In this little box is Ze Wittle Dutch Zon of ze Whore of Ze Zentury.
 

TwisT

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#3
So let's see if he bites!! :thumbsup:
 

BrIONwoshMunky

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#5
Well... I may have forgot a couple of people... but there is always next time. :adore:
 

gehtfuct

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#6
That shit was pure ass slappin'. You my son are destined to be one of the great story tellin' smacktards here at WTF.com

Until that happends...back to the toilets,junior.
 

BrIONwoshMunky

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#7
gehtfuct said:
That shit was pure ass slappin'. You my son are destined to be one of the great story tellin' smacktards here at WTF.com

Until that happends...back to the toilets,junior.
I can't seem to scrub your lip prints off of the porcelain... What were you doing, making out with the thing? :thumbsdn:
 

gehtfuct

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#8
brainwashmonkey said:
I can't seem to scrub your lip prints off of the porcelain... What were you doing, making out with the thing? :thumbsdn:
Yeah,my bad. I was drunk.
And as usual,I always confuse the shitter for your sister. They both smell the same. Like a truck stop shithouse.
But I'll smell you what,give her a six pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon and she'll let you go "Donkey" on that dookie hole.:thumbsup:
 

BrIONwoshMunky

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#9
gehtfuct said:
Yeah,my bad. I was drunk.
And as usual,I always confuse the shitter for your sister. They both smell the same. Like a truck stop shithouse.
But I'll smell you what,give her a six pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon and she'll let you go "Donkey" on that dookie hole.:thumbsup:
Confusion again? I give up. :confused:
 

gehtfuct

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#10
brainwashmonkey said:
Confusion again? I give up. :confused:
Yeah,I always did adapt to my surroundings pretty fast. Hmmm...[snap]
Goddamned WTF.com all to hell!!
 

BrIONwoshMunky

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#11
gehtfuct said:
Yeah,I always did adapt to my surroundings pretty fast. Hmmm...[snap]
Goddamned WTF.com all to hell!!

Hmmm.... now I'm confused. :confused:
 

Descent

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#12
Dude...you have GOT to make more of these...And put me in 'em! Treat it like a USB Port, HAHAHA!
 

Fire_ze_Missles

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#13
Descent said:
Dude...you have GOT to make more of these...And put me in 'em! Treat it like a USB Port, HAHAHA!

Someone likes the thought of anal sodomy, and role playing. :thumbsup:
 

Descent

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#14
No sounds like ROFLCopters and ROOFLETrains driving and flying into my bedroom.
 

BrIONwoshMunky

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#15
Descent said:
No sounds like ROFLCopters and ROOFLETrains driving and flying into my bedroom.
That would be your mom's Vibramax 6700, 400 watts of vagina thumpin power!
 

chucktheskiffie

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#17
someone should buy the rights to this and turn it into a feature film or a mini series or something...

every good writer needs an agent ;) :thumbsup:
 

BrIONwoshMunky

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#18
chucktheskiffie said:
someone should buy the rights to this and turn it into a feature film or a mini series or something...

every good writer needs an agent ;) :thumbsup:
Little dutch boys don't sell... just ask Red's mom.
 

chucktheskiffie

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#19
brainwashmonkey said:
Little dutch boys don't sell... just ask Red's mom.
sure they do... just market it to little dutch perverts...

that way, when red finally grows up, he'll go from being a star to a buyer... aaahhh, the circle of consumerism.

Edit: See, this is why you need me as your agent :thumbsup:
 

BrIONwoshMunky

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#20
chucktheskiffie said:
sure they do... just market it to little dutch perverts...

that way, when red finally grows up, he'll go from being a star to a buyer... aaahhh, the circle of consumerism.

Edit: See, this is why you need me as your agent :thumbsup:
Little dutch perverts will rot in hell. :thumbsdn:
 
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