WTF ... IS WTF!?
We are a collective of people who believe in freedom of speech, the rights of individuals, and free pancakes! We share our lives, struggles, frustrations, successes, joys, and prescribe to our own special brand of humor and insanity. If you are looking for a great place to hang out, make new friends, find new nemeses, and just be yourself, WTF.com is your new home.

WTF In The News

Who's News Story Was teh leet best Rox0r (Listed by order of response)

  • Junglizm

    Votes: 4 23.5%
  • fuck_you

    Votes: 1 5.9%
  • gehtfuct

    Votes: 5 29.4%
  • Chucktheskiffie

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • bigck3000

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • G's-Up

    Votes: 2 11.8%
  • Jstager

    Votes: 1 5.9%
  • Smoke-it

    Votes: 1 5.9%
  • Yuck_fou

    Votes: 1 5.9%
  • Other. Please specify (not enough poll options)

    Votes: 2 11.8%

  • Total voters
    17
  • Poll closed .
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MaxPower

You're my number two
Staff
16,959
8,161
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#1
What member(s) at WTF.com do you think is most likely to make the headlines in a news paper somewhere, and Why.

Post the headline and how it would read, extra points for adding a small phrase from the hypothetical news article. Keep it short and sweet.
At the end I'll set up a poll for members to vote for the best/most creative/most accurate one.


BTW, I put it in B&T not because I want you to flame the object of your headline; but only to keep from restricting you, as to the subject matter of the news.
EDIT: It'sw getting cluttered. Therefore I'm going to ask that you post only news stories.


OK, Now the Poll

First let me apologise to the following members for not having more than 10 poll options. These guys have earned my respect as top notch WTF jornalists:
TheLampIncident
Spill14me
Dogbert
Breakology

Later I will be holding a "Who has the biggest e-wood" contest with them as sole participants.

-Any members wanting to vote for one of these fab-four, please choose "Other" and specify who.

-Please don't vote for me when voting, as I just added my story to recover from a scorching flame generated by our resident-psycho "gehtfuct", (my ass still hurts).
 

Jung

???
Premium
13,998
2,267
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#2
My vote is for for fuck_you getting a darwin award.

Internet message board member dies today, in bomb related incident.

Apparently after being ridiculed on the internet, wtf.com member fuck_you created a letter bomb, destined for another wtf.com's home address. Fuck_you didn't put enough postage on a letter bomb, and it came back marked "return to sender." He opened the package and was blown away.
 

fuck_you

Banned - What an Asshat!
502
0
0
#3
My vote is for Jung:

Obiese Internet Forum User acused For Stealing From Soup Kitchen
"Apearantly the young man did not know its free" says a volounteer at the soup kitchen. The young man is currently being questioned but is telling authorities the following "I dont want to be a chicken i dont want to be a duck so i scratch me but!" the Obeise Internet user should be put in a mental hospital by thursday.
 

gehtfuct

HuGE
Staff
9,350
2,352
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#4
Man Arrested for Sexually Assaulting Female Manikin

November 8th, 2004- New York, USA
Ben Dover Jr.(aka MaxPower) was arrested Today for sexually assaulting a manikin at a women’s undergarment outlet store. Store clerks describe how the man made several trips past the manikin, and then went up onto the podium where he commenced to fondle the manikin’s breasts. When questioned about the incident, he said "I couldn't help it, she had the nicest set of tits I’ve seen in a long time. It's not like I'm ever gonna geht the real thing." Mr. Dover,was later released on a 250.00 dollar bond,and was ordered to remove seminal fluids left at the scene.
 

chucktheskiffie

Way too hyper...
682
1
0
#5
Internet Forum Given Nobel Peace Prize

A popular internet forum was yesterday awarded a Nobel Peace prize in Geneva, Switzerland.

When questioned over the merits of a website given the coveted award (especially one called What The F#$K?), the Nobel comittee responded, "This internet forum is a wonderful excercise in blowing off steam. We have found through extensive research that the members are less likely to commit violent acts, because of their ability to blow off steam on-line."

Forum owners, Jason and Brit were not available for comment as they had not yet woken up. We can only hazard a guess as to their response (WTF?).
 

Jung

???
Premium
13,998
2,267
487
#6
fuck_you said:
My vote is for Jung:

Obiese Internet Forum User acused For Stealing From Soup Kitchen
"Apearantly the young man did not know its free" says a volounteer at the soup kitchen. The young man is currently being questioned but is telling authorities the following "I dont want to be a chicken i dont want to be a duck so i scratch me but!" the Obeise Internet user should be put in a mental hospital by thursday.
What's obiese? I'm hardly obese; I make a point to work out every morning before work. I wake up and run at least two miles a day, do at least 70 push up and at least that amount of sit ups. I've maintained my level of fitness since high school, through out my time in the military and continue to do so now. Btw, congrats on another ignorantly formed post. You're already on the internet, is it that hard to type in dictionary.com?

Btw, I was only joking in my op, I guess you missed the bit about this being a forum game. Another occasion that you've choosen not to read the op.
 

bigck3000

The Iron Lung
1,684
1
0
#7
Internet forum member blamed for several misdeeds at a local petting zoo.

A young man, known only as Gehtfuct (his internet screen name) was apprehended by police today for several counts of lewd conduct with an animal. One worker at a local zoo noticed strange behavior in a number of their animals, "Three of the goats just quit eating, they secluded themselves from others and looked basically, just depressed." In this security camera video, Gehtfuct was seen carrying a bag full of live penguins and large paddle like device. He was seen digging in the bag and came out with a large bottle of squirt-on butter. When asked for a statement, he simply replied "Dey seems like such ah purrty bunch...ah wasnt gawn-a hurt em."
 

MaxPower

You're my number two
Staff
16,959
8,161
487
#8
Man Caught Posing as Mankin, to peep on shoppers

The Post, November, 8th 2004
A man going by the assumed name of “gehtfuct”, was caught due to a bizarre turn of events yesterday, as he peeped on unsuspecting elderly women in a women’s undergarment outlet store.

He would stand in the dressing area, posing as a manikin, and look on as elderly women tried on undergarments in the changing room. From his vantage point he could see into 80% of the changing stalls. Patrons remarked that they thought it odd that a manikin would be in the changing area. Stranger still was the “cat got your tongue” look on the face of the manikin.

This may have gone on longer had it not been for the Heroic Fondling of the so called manikin, by one “MaxPower”. Mr. Power was initially arrested as an accomplice, but later released as it became apparent to investigators, that it was a plot to get Mr. Fuct, to reveal himself.

In a related story. Palm Beach, Fl. Denny's will be Recognizing Mr. Power's heroism, by extending the hours of their Early Bird Special for one week.
 

Jung

???
Premium
13,998
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#9
New thread title; ITT own Dr. gehtfuct with fake new stories. :thumbsup: :p
 

bigck3000

The Iron Lung
1,684
1
0
#10
Police broke into a Louisiana house to inspect suspicious smells

A young man, known only by his internet alias "Junglizm" was found in his home surrounded by empty jars of peanut butter and opened douche bottles. Upon further inspection police found a room dubbed "the gravy room" where several intoxicated cats were found lazily licking the gravy off of themselves. It is yet to be announced if "Junglizm" inappropriately handled any of these cats. When police finally found the suspect, he was found sitting in the corner, popping bubble wrap, mumbling the words "You're the insult master" repeatedly.
 

G's-up

Postaholic
2,625
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0
#11
Internet User Found Naked and BAAAA'ing Like a Sheep

Forum visitor BIGCK3000 was found early this morning naked, in the bushes and BAAAA'ing like a sheep. A neighbor was awakened by the horrific noises and rushed to the window to see what was going on, as the neighbor looked he was horrified to see a small dicked youngster sitting in the bushes making sheep noises. The first officer on the scene asked the pathetic youngster what he was doing to which he replied "My girlfriend broke loose from her pen during an intimate moment and Im just calling out for her to return." The little man known to all as BIGCK3000 seemed "very distraught" stated the officer and is now in the hospital for psychiatric evaluation. :thumbsup:
 

Descent

Hella Constipated
7,686
165
157
#12
New U.S. President Involved in Lude Conduct

The new U.S. President who was elected after George Bush's recall election, Max Power, engaged in lude conduct while on the podium. He started telling jokes about penises, and gay sex. He also addressed his fellow Americans as "My fellow penis penis penis." Word has it that he will be impeached for such a deplorable act.

The President apologized for the incident, but not before yelling "Penis penis penis!" one more time whilst downing a bottle of potato vodka.

(Picture to come later tonight!)

The president also wanted to replace the current U.S. flag with a new one:
 

Smoke

Banned - What an Asshat!
2,583
0
0
#13
Man Arrested for Sexually Assaulting Female Goat

November 8th, 5:14 PM 2004- Arkansas, USA
Jack Meoff (also known as gehtfuct) was arrested today for sexually assaulting a farmers goat, down at a small town in Arkansas, Police found his 'evidence' all over the back of the goat. Police are in the process of finding this animal molester. If you see this man, please stay away from him! He is a highly dangerous animal molester.

Update: He was later found at his house, posting to comments on wtf.com.
 

YUCK FOU!!!

Critical Update Notification Tool.
6,588
2,430
337
#14
MaxPower said:
What member(s) at WTF.com do you think is most likely to make the headlines in a news paper somewhere, and Why.

Post the headline and how it would read, extra points for adding a small phrase from the hypothetical news article. Keep it short and sweet.
At the end I'll set up a poll for members to vote for the best/most creative/most accurate one.


BTW, I put it in B&T not because I want you to flame the object of your headline; but only to keep from restricting you, as to the subject matter of the news.
for jason and britt

owners of rude and crude website being sued
the two owners of the website wtf.com are being sued by another former member of the site for being text raped by the two of them.
both members are denying all aligations and intend to keep the site up and running until further notice
 

Jung

???
Premium
13,998
2,267
487
#15
gehtfuct said:
I dont geht it.^
New thread title; In This Thread own Dr. gehtfuct with fake news stories.

Typos ahoy.
 

gehtfuct

HuGE
Staff
9,350
2,352
387
#16
WTF.com poster Pregnant? -Junglizm
A 25 year old homosexual Wetnurse who has since disappeared, fooled doctors by concocting details of his medical history. He hoodwinked medical staff, by claiming that he was a hermaphrodite, born with both male and female sexual organs, who later had an operation to make him a woman.
Interviewed on May 27 "Bob" had said she had felt a fetus kicking inside his swollen stomach, and that the ultra-sound scan showed it was a boy. Doctors soon found that the attention "Hoo-wa" was nothing more than chubby. The elaborate hoax was apparently hatched to support application for a legal change of name and sex so that he could marry his Army officer lover. Tune in at Eleven,for further details.
 
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#17
own the doc

Dallas, Texas
The pimple pinching madman known as gehtfuct has struck again. Across this city, nubile teenagers have taken sick as their faces have erupted into hideous, pus-encrusted meat sacks. Stocks of medication have vanished from a 30 mile radius and the national guard is en route to curb looting.
City police chief, Kweer Bigguns, has informed residents that, because pimple pinching isn't a crime in Texas, no manhunts will be initiated. He has warned that it is very painful and horrible to look upon.
Locals are arranging their own form of justice, but to no avail. "We keep bein' peinchd," said one old fart with a volcano on his nez.
Gehtfuct? Akin to a serial killer? Or a mis-lead hobbyist?
Tonight YOU decide.
 
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#18
User "kwik dick" broke his neck last night trying to suck his own cock and died. His parents plan to tell people he fell down a staircase in their home.
 

Smoke

Banned - What an Asshat!
2,583
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#20
Gehtfuct is the target for many new stories, what a dirty lil' bastard he is! :)
 
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