You might be a Democrat if…
Here you go people...just read it and ull see why i will never be a democrat:
You think the rich can get richer off people who have no money.
You've tried to argue that all of societies problems are based on the fact that McDonald's, by law, only has to pay $5/hr.
If you have ever used the phrase "protecting prisoner's rights".
If you find yourself nodding vigorously and saying "someone finally said it right" during an episode of Oprah.
You've ever referred to the Military/Industrial Complex during a conversation.
You know you never laughed as a kid, the world was in just too bad a shape.
All of your 1970's "Beware of Global Freezing" signs now have "Beware of Global Warming" on the back.
You file suit against the mall rent-a-cops for posting signs stating that your bags are subject to inspection.
You've ever argued that "you can't legislate morality".
Referred to the Founding Fathers as "those aristocratic, chauvinistic, lily white, slave owning, land stealing oppressors of indigenous personnel".
You argued that a few more months of sanctions and Saddam Hussein would fold like rookie poker player.
You've ever said "But look at all the good Ted Kennedy has done for the women of this country!"
You blame things on "The Man."
You believe that Bart Simpson only needs a little more affection.
You've ever stared at a wall and said "Now THAT is definitely man's inhumanity to man!"
You argue that the only flaw with Marx is that Russia was an agrarian society.
You've ever called the meter maid a Fascist.
You argue that the Second Amendment only refers to Federally organized militias.
After looking at your pay stub you can still say "America is undertaxed."
You've ever said "We really should call the ACLU about this."
You've ever referred to "the glass ceiling."
You know 2 or more people with "concrete proof" that the Pentagon is covering up: Roswell, the Kennedy assassination, and the CIA's role in creating AIDS.
You own something that says Dukakis for President, and still display it.
You believe it because "Dan Rather wouldn't lie about something this important."
You ever based an argument on the phrase, "But they can afford a tax hike because..."
You ever told a child that Oscar the Grouch "is a victim of Draconian budget cuts."
You've ever argued that with just 1 more year of welfare that person will turn it around and get off drugs.
You keep count of how many people you know in each racial or ethnic category.
You believe that an elected official attending religious services is a violation of the separation of Church and state that isn't in the consititution.
You believe that a few hundred loggers can find another career, but the defenseless spotted owl must live in its preferred tree.
You believe our government must do it because everyone in Europe does.
You think that Al Gore macherena thing was a laugh riot.
You feel that Green Peace is misunderstood.
You think communism will catch on once society has evolved.
You've tried to argue in favor of anything based on "Well, they're gonna do it anyway so...."
You've ever stated "How does what he does in his personal life have any bearing on doing his job?"
You don't understand all the commotion about Whitewater, Vince Foster, selling US foreign policy for campaign
contributions, it's just politics, right?
You can't talk about foreign policy without using the word conspiracy.
You think solar energy is being held back by those greedy oil companies.
You would rather have Bill Clinton make your investments than Fidelity.
You've never had to worry about marginal tax rates.
You have to use the term "mean spirited" in every sentence when talking about welfare reform.
You actually expect to collect Social Security.
You think the State of Florida should have tried to reform Ted Bundy.
You think the Great Society has actually worked.
You got teary eyed during the film "The American President."
You think Ayn Rand is an African currency.
You get goose bumps when Barbra Streisand sings for Bill.
You think political patronage describes the Kennedy family.
You think the Free Market is where they hand out Government cheese.
You think Carter should be on Mt. Rushmore.
You believe personal injury lawyers when they say they are just trying to defend the little guy.
You think that Vietnam and Bosnia are two completely different situations.
You know that those profit mongering drug companies could find a cure for AIDS if they really wanted to.
You like Rolling Stone, but they should really get rid of that PJ O'Rourke guy.
You actually believe the NY Times and Washington Post.
You actually believe that Clinton has created 4 million jobs.
You think Capital Formation refers to the Secret Service contingent following Bill on his daily jog to McDonalds.
You think that the Teamsters are misunderstood.
You think public housing is great, but just NIMBY (Not In My Back Yard).
You think the anti-war protestors from '60s are the real heros.
You would send your kids to public schools, if they just had better extracurriculars.
You actually think that poverty can be abolished.
You admire the Swedish welfare system.
You know that Jefferson really meant to say "Entitled to Happiness."
You think the Flat Tax should be at 95%.
You go to Gay Pride Day parades so that no one can call you homophobic.
You know that Vince Foster wasn't having an affair with Hillary because no one is that desperate.
Here you go people...just read it and ull see why i will never be a democrat:
You think the rich can get richer off people who have no money.
You've tried to argue that all of societies problems are based on the fact that McDonald's, by law, only has to pay $5/hr.
If you have ever used the phrase "protecting prisoner's rights".
If you find yourself nodding vigorously and saying "someone finally said it right" during an episode of Oprah.
You've ever referred to the Military/Industrial Complex during a conversation.
You know you never laughed as a kid, the world was in just too bad a shape.
All of your 1970's "Beware of Global Freezing" signs now have "Beware of Global Warming" on the back.
You file suit against the mall rent-a-cops for posting signs stating that your bags are subject to inspection.
You've ever argued that "you can't legislate morality".
Referred to the Founding Fathers as "those aristocratic, chauvinistic, lily white, slave owning, land stealing oppressors of indigenous personnel".
You argued that a few more months of sanctions and Saddam Hussein would fold like rookie poker player.
You've ever said "But look at all the good Ted Kennedy has done for the women of this country!"
You blame things on "The Man."
You believe that Bart Simpson only needs a little more affection.
You've ever stared at a wall and said "Now THAT is definitely man's inhumanity to man!"
You argue that the only flaw with Marx is that Russia was an agrarian society.
You've ever called the meter maid a Fascist.
You argue that the Second Amendment only refers to Federally organized militias.
After looking at your pay stub you can still say "America is undertaxed."
You've ever said "We really should call the ACLU about this."
You've ever referred to "the glass ceiling."
You know 2 or more people with "concrete proof" that the Pentagon is covering up: Roswell, the Kennedy assassination, and the CIA's role in creating AIDS.
You own something that says Dukakis for President, and still display it.
You believe it because "Dan Rather wouldn't lie about something this important."
You ever based an argument on the phrase, "But they can afford a tax hike because..."
You ever told a child that Oscar the Grouch "is a victim of Draconian budget cuts."
You've ever argued that with just 1 more year of welfare that person will turn it around and get off drugs.
You keep count of how many people you know in each racial or ethnic category.
You believe that an elected official attending religious services is a violation of the separation of Church and state that isn't in the consititution.
You believe that a few hundred loggers can find another career, but the defenseless spotted owl must live in its preferred tree.
You believe our government must do it because everyone in Europe does.
You think that Al Gore macherena thing was a laugh riot.
You feel that Green Peace is misunderstood.
You think communism will catch on once society has evolved.
You've tried to argue in favor of anything based on "Well, they're gonna do it anyway so...."
You've ever stated "How does what he does in his personal life have any bearing on doing his job?"
You don't understand all the commotion about Whitewater, Vince Foster, selling US foreign policy for campaign
contributions, it's just politics, right?
You can't talk about foreign policy without using the word conspiracy.
You think solar energy is being held back by those greedy oil companies.
You would rather have Bill Clinton make your investments than Fidelity.
You've never had to worry about marginal tax rates.
You have to use the term "mean spirited" in every sentence when talking about welfare reform.
You actually expect to collect Social Security.
You think the State of Florida should have tried to reform Ted Bundy.
You think the Great Society has actually worked.
You got teary eyed during the film "The American President."
You think Ayn Rand is an African currency.
You get goose bumps when Barbra Streisand sings for Bill.
You think political patronage describes the Kennedy family.
You think the Free Market is where they hand out Government cheese.
You think Carter should be on Mt. Rushmore.
You believe personal injury lawyers when they say they are just trying to defend the little guy.
You think that Vietnam and Bosnia are two completely different situations.
You know that those profit mongering drug companies could find a cure for AIDS if they really wanted to.
You like Rolling Stone, but they should really get rid of that PJ O'Rourke guy.
You actually believe the NY Times and Washington Post.
You actually believe that Clinton has created 4 million jobs.
You think Capital Formation refers to the Secret Service contingent following Bill on his daily jog to McDonalds.
You think that the Teamsters are misunderstood.
You think public housing is great, but just NIMBY (Not In My Back Yard).
You think the anti-war protestors from '60s are the real heros.
You would send your kids to public schools, if they just had better extracurriculars.
You actually think that poverty can be abolished.
You admire the Swedish welfare system.
You know that Jefferson really meant to say "Entitled to Happiness."
You think the Flat Tax should be at 95%.
You go to Gay Pride Day parades so that no one can call you homophobic.
You know that Vince Foster wasn't having an affair with Hillary because no one is that desperate.
