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You might be a Democrat if…

blitzen9090

The Moron...who complains
51
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You might be a Democrat if…

Here you go people...just read it and ull see why i will never be a democrat:


You think the rich can get richer off people who have no money.

You've tried to argue that all of societies problems are based on the fact that McDonald's, by law, only has to pay $5/hr.

If you have ever used the phrase "protecting prisoner's rights".

If you find yourself nodding vigorously and saying "someone finally said it right" during an episode of Oprah.

You've ever referred to the Military/Industrial Complex during a conversation.

You know you never laughed as a kid, the world was in just too bad a shape.

All of your 1970's "Beware of Global Freezing" signs now have "Beware of Global Warming" on the back.

You file suit against the mall rent-a-cops for posting signs stating that your bags are subject to inspection.

You've ever argued that "you can't legislate morality".

Referred to the Founding Fathers as "those aristocratic, chauvinistic, lily white, slave owning, land stealing oppressors of indigenous personnel".

You argued that a few more months of sanctions and Saddam Hussein would fold like rookie poker player.

You've ever said "But look at all the good Ted Kennedy has done for the women of this country!"

You blame things on "The Man."

You believe that Bart Simpson only needs a little more affection.

You've ever stared at a wall and said "Now THAT is definitely man's inhumanity to man!"

You argue that the only flaw with Marx is that Russia was an agrarian society.

You've ever called the meter maid a Fascist.

You argue that the Second Amendment only refers to Federally organized militias.

After looking at your pay stub you can still say "America is undertaxed."

You've ever said "We really should call the ACLU about this."

You've ever referred to "the glass ceiling."

You know 2 or more people with "concrete proof" that the Pentagon is covering up: Roswell, the Kennedy assassination, and the CIA's role in creating AIDS.

You own something that says Dukakis for President, and still display it.

You believe it because "Dan Rather wouldn't lie about something this important."

You ever based an argument on the phrase, "But they can afford a tax hike because..."

You ever told a child that Oscar the Grouch "is a victim of Draconian budget cuts."

You've ever argued that with just 1 more year of welfare that person will turn it around and get off drugs.

You keep count of how many people you know in each racial or ethnic category.

You believe that an elected official attending religious services is a violation of the separation of Church and state that isn't in the consititution.

You believe that a few hundred loggers can find another career, but the defenseless spotted owl must live in its preferred tree.

You believe our government must do it because everyone in Europe does.

You think that Al Gore macherena thing was a laugh riot.

You feel that Green Peace is misunderstood.

You think communism will catch on once society has evolved.

You've tried to argue in favor of anything based on "Well, they're gonna do it anyway so...."

You've ever stated "How does what he does in his personal life have any bearing on doing his job?"

You don't understand all the commotion about Whitewater, Vince Foster, selling US foreign policy for campaign
contributions, it's just politics, right?

You can't talk about foreign policy without using the word conspiracy.

You think solar energy is being held back by those greedy oil companies.

You would rather have Bill Clinton make your investments than Fidelity.

You've never had to worry about marginal tax rates.

You have to use the term "mean spirited" in every sentence when talking about welfare reform.

You actually expect to collect Social Security.

You think the State of Florida should have tried to reform Ted Bundy.

You think the Great Society has actually worked.

You got teary eyed during the film "The American President."

You think Ayn Rand is an African currency.

You get goose bumps when Barbra Streisand sings for Bill.

You think political patronage describes the Kennedy family.

You think the Free Market is where they hand out Government cheese.

You think Carter should be on Mt. Rushmore.

You believe personal injury lawyers when they say they are just trying to defend the little guy.

You think that Vietnam and Bosnia are two completely different situations.

You know that those profit mongering drug companies could find a cure for AIDS if they really wanted to.

You like Rolling Stone, but they should really get rid of that PJ O'Rourke guy.

You actually believe the NY Times and Washington Post.

You actually believe that Clinton has created 4 million jobs.

You think Capital Formation refers to the Secret Service contingent following Bill on his daily jog to McDonalds.

You think that the Teamsters are misunderstood.

You think public housing is great, but just NIMBY (Not In My Back Yard).

You think the anti-war protestors from '60s are the real heros.

You would send your kids to public schools, if they just had better extracurriculars.

You actually think that poverty can be abolished.

You admire the Swedish welfare system.

You know that Jefferson really meant to say "Entitled to Happiness."

You think the Flat Tax should be at 95%.

You go to Gay Pride Day parades so that no one can call you homophobic.

You know that Vince Foster wasn't having an affair with Hillary because no one is that desperate.
 

TheGunslinger85

Clitpickle
66
0
0
blitzen9090 said:
Here you go people...just read it and ull see why i will never be a democrat:


You think the rich can get richer off people who have no money.

If you have ever used the phrase "protecting prisoner's rights".

You've ever referred to the Military/Industrial Complex during a conversation.

First of all, OMFG!!!!!!! WTF is the latest tax cut, passed by the Republican Senate/Congress?????? Who, I ask, gets the best deal out of this? Who is paying for it in the future? Tell me, for I wish to know.

"Protecting prisoner's rights?" Should we be like the Ancient Romans? Oh yeah, if you're a Roman citizen, you only get decapitation. If you're not, you get crucified or fed to lions...and this is after a lengthy torture. Is this a more suitable system? I mean, I agree with not letting our convicts have Tv and other luxuries, but people have the right not to be tortured.

Oh, and btw, Eisenhower was the first public figure to warn about the rising "military/industrial complex." (From what I've learned of Eisenhower, he doesn't get fair recognition. I don't know that much about his presidency, but I do know of his exploits in WWII....OMG what a general and an American!!!)
 

Descent

Hella Constipated
7,686
149
157
You think communism will catch on once society has evolved.

Complete and total garbage. We are for democracy, not dictatorships.

I would go and flame you, but sadly we are not in bait and tackle. You probobly just copied these off a website without even reading them, so I'll let it slide.
 

WILD

Mild
405
3
78
jstager said:
You think communism will catch on once society has evolved.
Complete and total garbage. We are for democracy, not dictatorships.
side note: communism in true form wouldnt have a dictator the countrys we called communist during the cold war were never anything more than Socialists Dictatorships which barely bore a resembelence to communism
buy otherwise communism is flawed beyond belief
 

better than you

It's true
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You might be a Democrat, or just a non-retarded human being if you realize that this list was neither humorous nor worthy of anyone's time.
 

WILD

Mild
405
3
78
better than you said:
You might be a Democrat, or just a non-retarded human being if you realize that this list was neither humorous nor worthy of anyone's time.
BINGO!
 

morelos

lexicon incognito
1,951
0
0
wow... that list did everything:

defense of racism. defense of religious segregation. defense of sexism.

i think that list just about sums up as follows: "if you don't support detrimentary discrimination, you might be a democrat."

stupid reasoning, but i guess i might be a democrat.

and to the socialist vs. communist point WILD made, you're absolutely correct. the bougeoisie vs proletariat conflict that culminates in violent revolution and puts a charismatic peasant in a dictatorial position always ends with a collapsed economy and transition to capitalism.

communism is an economic umbrella within which a strong, capitalist sub-economy could thrive wonderfully. it requires strong production and strong exports, which are two things america has. really, we're the prime candidate for true communism, which is the combination of freedom AND human equality.

* communism does NOT say everyone makes the same amount of money.

* communism does NOT say a dictator runs the country.

* communism does NOT say there has to be only one brand of cereal, one kind of car.

* communism does NOT tell you where you are to live.

i could go on, but i'm getting frothing-at-the-mouth pissed.

~ dan ~
 

Ctoit

Tenderony
428
1
0
better than you said:
You might be a Democrat, or just a non-retarded human being if you realize that this list was neither humorous nor worthy of anyone's time.


that would be exactly why I didnt make it past the first few.............I'm both a Democrat and a non-retarted human..... :cool:
 

Ctoit

Tenderony
428
1
0
actually I'll revise that..........I'm not a Democrat so to speak but I sure the HELL am not voting for fucking Bush!! ........oh ya and I'm still not retarted (at least not this week)
 

Skitch0o0

Put it in MY butt...
979
1
0
blitzen9090 said:
Here you go people...just read it and ull see why i will never be a democrat:


You think the rich can get richer off people who have no money.

You've tried to argue that all of societies problems are based on the fact that McDonald's, by law, only has to pay $5/hr.

If you have ever used the phrase "protecting prisoner's rights".

If you find yourself nodding vigorously and saying "someone finally said it right" during an episode of Oprah.

You've ever referred to the Military/Industrial Complex during a conversation.

You know you never laughed as a kid, the world was in just too bad a shape.

All of your 1970's "Beware of Global Freezing" signs now have "Beware of Global Warming" on the back.

You file suit against the mall rent-a-cops for posting signs stating that your bags are subject to inspection.

You've ever argued that "you can't legislate morality".

Referred to the Founding Fathers as "those aristocratic, chauvinistic, lily white, slave owning, land stealing oppressors of indigenous personnel".

You argued that a few more months of sanctions and Saddam Hussein would fold like rookie poker player.

You've ever said "But look at all the good Ted Kennedy has done for the women of this country!"

You blame things on "The Man."

You believe that Bart Simpson only needs a little more affection.

You've ever stared at a wall and said "Now THAT is definitely man's inhumanity to man!"

You argue that the only flaw with Marx is that Russia was an agrarian society.

You've ever called the meter maid a Fascist.

You argue that the Second Amendment only refers to Federally organized militias.

After looking at your pay stub you can still say "America is undertaxed."

You've ever said "We really should call the ACLU about this."

You've ever referred to "the glass ceiling."

You know 2 or more people with "concrete proof" that the Pentagon is covering up: Roswell, the Kennedy assassination, and the CIA's role in creating AIDS.

You own something that says Dukakis for President, and still display it.

You believe it because "Dan Rather wouldn't lie about something this important."

You ever based an argument on the phrase, "But they can afford a tax hike because..."

You ever told a child that Oscar the Grouch "is a victim of Draconian budget cuts."

You've ever argued that with just 1 more year of welfare that person will turn it around and get off drugs.

You keep count of how many people you know in each racial or ethnic category.

You believe that an elected official attending religious services is a violation of the separation of Church and state that isn't in the consititution.

You believe that a few hundred loggers can find another career, but the defenseless spotted owl must live in its preferred tree.

You believe our government must do it because everyone in Europe does.

You think that Al Gore macherena thing was a laugh riot.

You feel that Green Peace is misunderstood.

You think communism will catch on once society has evolved.

You've tried to argue in favor of anything based on "Well, they're gonna do it anyway so...."

You've ever stated "How does what he does in his personal life have any bearing on doing his job?"

You don't understand all the commotion about Whitewater, Vince Foster, selling US foreign policy for campaign
contributions, it's just politics, right?

You can't talk about foreign policy without using the word conspiracy.

You think solar energy is being held back by those greedy oil companies.

You would rather have Bill Clinton make your investments than Fidelity.

You've never had to worry about marginal tax rates.

You have to use the term "mean spirited" in every sentence when talking about welfare reform.

You actually expect to collect Social Security.

You think the State of Florida should have tried to reform Ted Bundy.

You think the Great Society has actually worked.

You got teary eyed during the film "The American President."

You think Ayn Rand is an African currency.

You get goose bumps when Barbra Streisand sings for Bill.

You think political patronage describes the Kennedy family.

You think the Free Market is where they hand out Government cheese.

You think Carter should be on Mt. Rushmore.

You believe personal injury lawyers when they say they are just trying to defend the little guy.

You think that Vietnam and Bosnia are two completely different situations.

You know that those profit mongering drug companies could find a cure for AIDS if they really wanted to.

You like Rolling Stone, but they should really get rid of that PJ O'Rourke guy.

You actually believe the NY Times and Washington Post.

You actually believe that Clinton has created 4 million jobs.

You think Capital Formation refers to the Secret Service contingent following Bill on his daily jog to McDonalds.

You think that the Teamsters are misunderstood.

You think public housing is great, but just NIMBY (Not In My Back Yard).

You think the anti-war protestors from '60s are the real heros.

You would send your kids to public schools, if they just had better extracurriculars.

You actually think that poverty can be abolished.

You admire the Swedish welfare system.

You know that Jefferson really meant to say "Entitled to Happiness."

You think the Flat Tax should be at 95%.

You go to Gay Pride Day parades so that no one can call you homophobic.

You know that Vince Foster wasn't having an affair with Hillary because no one is that desperate.
I quoted the entire thing because it was long... And I'm not. It made me feel more like a man. Anyway, on to business.

This is the second most retarded thing I have ever read.
 

Skitch0o0

Put it in MY butt...
979
1
0
Right, I think it's stupid because I'm a "liberal Democrat" right? No, I thought it was stupid because it just wasn't funny. I'm not a democrat and I'm only on the liberal side of about have the issues. But thanks for the baseless implication.
 

Seije

The Stranger Returns...
889
0
0
i'm republican..but i'm voting 3rd party

hmm...all i got outta this was..











































































...yep..thas about it..didn't understand that stuff..not very politcal
*edit*i find this huge blank more amusing like the giant emptyiness in my life
 

Descent

Hella Constipated
7,686
149
157
You might be a Republican if...

You hate "******s," "fags," "kikes," "chinks," "sand rats," etc.

You believe everything you hear.

You believe what is said in those mudslinging ads.

You think anyone who has a different view on the issues is "un-patriotic," even though it is quite clear that we have TWO political parties, and therefore have at least two different views on the issues. In other words, you are a commie.

You trust your imaginary "God" too much.

You go to church three days a week.

(CALL ME A RACIST AND I'LL CUT OFF YOUR BALLS. I'M MAKING FUN OF RACIST IDEALS.)

Oh, and I know that most Republicans do not believe in all of this stuff...I'm just quoting the inbred rednecks.
 

Jeranamo

Tenderony
180
0
0
K, I don't have to even read this to KNOW I am a democrat. Fuck republicans. If you like the way the government it currently, get ready for the new world order to take over. The government is falling apart. WAKE UP PEOPLE! If you haven't seen it already, watch 9/11 - Road To Tyranny. You can get it off suprnova.org. It explains federal/governmental coverups and how the NWO is forming.