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Your life is about to take off....Then you're dead??

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#1
Ok, So let's say something really great is about to happen to you, then you die. That would blow ass.

So post what the great thing is, and if you feel crazy, post a crazy (also ironic) way you die after this great this is about to happen.

The first one is for Icarus.


You are about to join the NBA! Then you get smothered by thousands of basketballs.



(It could have been funnier, but I was too lazy to think of something good)
 
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#2
You are about to make the winning goal in the soccer game of your life. Suddenly, the player in front of you trips, causing you to take a fatal kick to the forehead.
 

Hypertron

Asshole of the Year
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#3
you're a famous actor and you decide to take up polo, you have a horrible accident and become paralized and die of complications 9 years later...that was horrible
 

DIZNUTS

Ñúñ'§ þêG £ègGéÐ /\/\å±ëý
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#4
you find a the 1st living wooly mamonth and he ass rapes you to death
 
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#5
You win the biggest pot in poker history, and then you accidentally get a paper cut from the cards that causes you to bleed to death.
 
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#6
You finally get the job of porn star. You waited so long for this job. Then you die from a heart attack in the middle of your first movie.
 

mmm...cheese

Banned - What an Asshat!
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#7
You were watching lord of the rings while watching popcorn. . . You watched all the extra features and stuff and died of overeating. :thumbsdn:
 
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#8
GarnetXero said:
You finally get the job of porn star. You waited so long for this job. Then you die from a heart attack in the middle of your first movie.
or herpes
 
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#9
You've been fiending for a beer all night. You have no money. Then, right as someone says they'll buy you a six pack, just for being you, all the alcohol you've ever had in your entire life comes back and gives you a heart attack.
 

Icarus

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
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#10
You're about to buy your dream car, a Porsche, and run it off a cliff during your test drive, and die.
 

Captain 151

Seeped in a dry Merlot
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#11
You are deaf, and the doctors finally discover a procedure to give you your hearing back. You are lying in the hositpal bed as the doctors perform small insicions into your ear. Fixing with nerves and other aural things, they've managed to restore the hearing that you've been missing for over 40 years. (you are 48, and at age 8, a mean bully clubbed your ears with a sledgehammer, puncturing the ear drum and causing deafness). The procedure is finally over, and you are estatic, and about to turn on the TV to hear Barbara Walters for the first time in 40 years, when non-lingual aliens land from outerspace, and rip the ears off of every living creature in a brutal retaliation for the pain they've suffered as a race ever since they were enslaved by the Egyptians for building the pyramids, then horribly murdered.
 

fuck_you

Banned - What an Asshat!
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#12
your a 39 year old rookie in the nfl that has played n the arena football leage for 18 years in order to one day make the nfl and it's been your dream and all you ever think about your whole life to throw a touchdown pass in the nfl , your 3rd string and it's the super bowl the 2 other qb's go down it's 4rth and 30 with 1 secound left in the super bowl you take the snap scramble left and throw a perfect pass in the endzone for a wide open all pro reciver then a naked streaker comes and tips the ball chaces you takes of your equipment sticks there 25 foot long cock in your mouth until you chocke on it and die, the end.
 

skylinec

Somewhere in the Between
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#13
You finally get the pet monkey you've been waiting for, The The monkey Throws shit at you and you die from the smell.
 
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#14
You finnaly get the monkey you've been waiting for. Then you get ebola.
 

gehtfuct

HuGE
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#15
You finally read to the end of this thread....and die of boredom.
 
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#16
gehtfuct said:
You finally read to the end of this thread....and die of boredom.

Wow. Harsh man, you just ruined my life. The internet is real life man, you know that.

Thanks for being a good poster. :thumbsup:
 

gehtfuct

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#17
HavokChylde said:
Wow. Harsh man, you just ruined my life. The internet is real life man, you know that.

Thanks for being a good poster. :thumbsup:
Well,fuck.

Ok,you've just found out that you've won the states largest lottery. In celebration,you throw a bastard of a party;kegs,hookers,party favors ;),The Mayor,Jason and BRiTs nude monkeys. Your lifes problems are finally solved. God has finally set his holy hand apon you,life is good. But like a dumbass,all night you've had your face buried in so many two dollar bald beavered hoodrats,you contract a penis eating,ball debilitating STD. Before you can even spend a single penny,it all goes to your nemisis...your EX.

Then you die.
 
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#18
gehtfuct said:
Well,fuck.

Ok,you've just found out that you've won the states largest lottery. In celebration,you throw a bastard of a party;kegs,hookers,party favors ;),The Mayor,Jason and BRiTs nude monkeys. Your lifes problems are finally solved. God has finally set his holy hand apon you,life is good. But like a dumbass,all night you've had your face buried in so many two dollar bald beavered hoodrats,you contract a penis eating,ball debilitating STD. Before you can even spend a single penny,it all goes to your nemisis...your EX.

Then you die.

:thumbsup:


You're at this badass party that GF is talking about, smoking dope, banging hookers, having a badass time. Then the guy that is throwing it (who you've been chilling with the whole time) decides to say "hey, you're a good guy, I like you...Want some of my money to get your life together?"

You say "fuck yeah!" Right as he is about to sign the biggest check you've ever seen in your life, he dies from a terrible penis eating STD.
 

gehtfuct

HuGE
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#19
HavokChylde said:
:thumbsup:


You're at this badass party that GF is talking about, smoking dope, banging hookers, having a badass time. Then the guy that is throwing it (who you've been chilling with the whole time) decides to say "hey, you're a good guy, I like you...Want some of my money to get your life together?"

You say "fuck yeah!" Right as he is about to sign the biggest check you've ever seen in your life, he dies from a terrible penis eating STD.
Come on,maaan. This is gehtfucts party. He just won the fucking largest lottery in state history. Were not smoking pot.
Pot is for broke ass mo'fuggers. Were smokin' straight 100% Lunar Cat Turds.
Money is no object.


Thread Jack.
 
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#20
gehtfuct said:
Come on,maaan. This is gehtfucts party. He just won the fucking largest lottery in state histiory. Were not smoking pot.
Pot is for broke ass mo'fuggers. Were smokin' straight 100% Lunar Cat Turds.
Money is no object.


Thread Jack.
Ok, thread jack.



Moving on to the next way to die when something good is about to happen (even though it was a ridiculous idea anyways.)