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You're Better Off Without Me

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#1
You can skip the story if you want, the question is in bold

I broke up with my girlfriend of 11 months over 4 months ago. I'm generally happy, she is generally stressed out, clingy, annoying, dramatic, etc. I'm trying to be the nice guy and not blow her off completely, and I'm actually trying to stay friends with her .. but thus far it has only seemed to give her false hope of getting back together.

Most of you might think the following wouldn't work, but she actually pays a lot of attention to the lyrics of songs and if I play my cards right, she will get the hint from this. So the question is:

What songs should I compile to say "get over me" or "you're better off without me" or "we're broken up"?

So far I have:
#41 - DMB
Babe, I'm Gonna Leave You - Zeppelin
Cheating on You - Franz Ferd
Everybody Hurts - R.E.M.
Hang - Matchbox 20
The Hardest Part - Coldplay
Parting Gift - Fiona Apple
Say Hello Wave Goodbye - David Grey
and Someday You Will Be Loved - Death Cab

For those of you who are going to tell me to blow her off, don't post here.
 

JLXC

WTF's Official Conspiracy Fanatic
Premium
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#3
Weird Al has a couple "One more minute" and "Since You've Been Gone"

:)
 

gehtfuct

HuGE
Staff
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#4
ICP-Bitches
Bitches!

Ha Ha Ha!
Bitches, Ha!
Bitches...

[Old Dirty Bastard]
BITCH, at any moment, that's what I'll do
(You fucking bitches) I'll do it to you
And a few of your crew
at any moment (Yeah), that's what I'll do
(ICP, ODB) I'll do it to you
And a few of your crew
(Bitcheeessss!)

[1st Verse - Violent J]
BITCH! WHAT THE FUCK?!
What are you trying to do to me?
You wasn't true to me
When I was locked up you fucked something like 34 guys
(Rrrghh!) But I let that slide
'Cuz your ass is big, and your titties is fat
I wanted to FUCK THAT
But FUCK THAT
I never gave a FUCK THAT, you put me through the courts (AND?)
And gave me genital warts
Now I stack my .9, I'm goin' for the knees
I'ma blow 'em out and give your neck a squeeze
(Aggghhh! Whoo!)As you're standing there, I'ma be like BITCH!
(Ha ha!)You know you done fucked up, right?

[Chorus- Violent J]
Girl you know I love you, but now you gotta die
(Now you gotta die, now you gotta die)
Girl you know I love you, but now you gotta DIE
(Never wanted it like that) [x2]

[2nd Verse- Old Dirty Bastard]
Bitch, don't talk about bitches I'm fucking them
Please no fat bitches I'm fucking slim
Unless it's one of those nights I'm stroking my shit
I don't care 'bout how I'm fucking it
How much it costs, big fat...crackhead?
Ain't trying to hear all those words you said
Five minutes, bitch (ahhhh) and I came
Fuck your name, and from where you came

I don't give a fuck, bitch! I will kill you!
You Shaquita! You Belinda! You too Passion...BITCH!

[Chorus]
(Ahhhhh....you bitches!!!)

[3rd Verse- Shaggy2Dope]
One thing I can't stand is these bitches
Trying to take my riches, when I ain't even got none (Bitch!)
I never lied, you knew what I wanted all the while (what?)
My dick in your vertical smile (yeah)
We kiss and hug, and snugg, and tickle
But the bitch wouldn't even buff my fucking pickle (bitch)
You fucked everybody else in the place, it's all good
Now let me head-butt your face!

Bitch! I love you, but now you gotta die
that's right (Bitches!), that's right
Girl you know I love you, but now you gotta die
(Bitches? Bitcheeesss!)

[Chorus x3]
Girl you know I love you, you dumb bitch!
 

Boycott

Soul Doubt
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#5
void said:
anything by gg allin.
I second this.

Tsunami Bomb - Lemonade
The Specials - Little Bitch (Although Big D and the Kids Table does a better version)
Most songs by the Misfits
Supertramp - Take a look at my girlfriend
nofx - See Her Pee
Nofx - Happy Break Up Song
Nofx - Fleas
Nofx - Liza and Louise (Set her a path)
Nofx - You put your chocolate in my peanut butter
Nofx - Fun things to fuck
Mindless Self Indulgence - Stupid MF
Guttermouth - Lipstick
Dead Milkmen - Gonna beat my wife
Adolescents - I hate children

For the finale : Big D and the Kids Table - She won't ever figure it out
 

Nailbomb

I'm just really nice.
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#6
Bah! I saw some video earlier today by some British wank who was singing a song about just that. Something along the line of "Dry your eyes, mate, there's plenty more fish in the sea." Can't think of the name right now.
 

Boycott

Soul Doubt
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#7
Nailbomb said:
Bah! I saw some video earlier today by some British wank who was singing a song about just that. Something along the line of "Dry your eyes, mate, there's plenty more fish in the sea." Can't think of the name right now.
The Streets - Dry Your Eyes

In one single moment your whole life can turn 'round
I stand there for a minute starin’ straight into the ground
Lookin’ to the left slightly, then lookin’ back down
World feels like it’s caved in – proper sorry frown
Please let me show you where we could only just be, for us
I can change and I can grow or we could adjust
The wicked thing about us is we always have trust
We can even have an open relationship, if you must
I look at her she stares almost straight back at me
But her eyes glaze over like she’s lookin’ straight through me
Then her eyes must have closed for what seems an eternity
When they open up she’s lookin’ down at her feet

Dry your eyes mate
I know it’s hard to take but her mind has been made up
There’s plenty more fish in the sea
Dry your eyes mate
I know you want to make her see how much this pain hurts
But you’ve got to walk away now
It’s over

So then I move my hand up from down by my side
It's shakin’, my life is crashin’ before my eyes
Turn the palm of my hand up to face the skies
Touch the bottom of her chin and let out a sigh
‘Cause I can’t imagine my life without you and me
There’s things I can’t imagine doin’, things I can’t imagine seein’
It weren't supposed to be easy, surely
Please, please, I beg you please
She brings her hands up towards where my hands rested
She wraps her fingers round mine with the softness she’s blessed with
She peels away my fingers, looks at me and then gestures
By pushin’ my hand away to my chest, from hers

Dry your eyes mate
I know it’s hard to take but her mind has been made up
There’s plenty more fish in the sea
Dry your eyes mate
I know you want to make her see how much this pain hurts
But you’ve got to walk away now
It’s over

And I’m just standin’ there, I can’t say a word
‘Cause everythin’s just gone
I’ve got nothin’
Absolutely nothin’

Tryin’ to pull her close out of bare desperation
Put my arms around her tryin’ to change what she’s sayin’
Pull my head level with hers so she might engage in
Look into her eyes to make her listen again
I’m not gonna fuckin’, just fuckin’ leave it all now
‘Cause you said it'd be forever and that was your vow
And you’re gonna let our things simply crash and fall down
You’re well out of order now, this is well out of town
She pulls away, my arms are tightly clamped round her waist
Gently pushes me back and she looks at me straight
Turns around so she’s now got her back to my face
Takes one step forward, looks back, and then walks away

Dry your eyes mate
I know it’s hard to take but her mind has been made up
There’s plenty more fish in the sea
Dry your eyes mate
I know you want to make her see how much this pain hurts
But you’ve got to walk away now
It’s over

I know in the past I’ve found it hard to say
Tellin’ you things, but not tellin’ straight
But the more I pull on your hand and say
The more you pull away

Dry your eyes mate
I know it’s hard to take but her mind has been made up
There’s plenty more fish in the sea
Dry your eyes mate
I know you want to make her see how much this pain hurts
But you’ve got to walk away now.



:google:
 

void

Banned - What an Asshat!
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#8
this might get rid of her, or get you back together..

gg allin. - ass fuckin', butt suckin' cunt lickin, masturbation.


Wanna fuck you up the ass, lick the shit out of your crack
Get it in until you bleed, piss in your mouth so you can't breathe
I wanna fuck you up the ass, lick the shit out of your crack
Stick it in until you bleed, piss in your mouth so you can't breathe

Ass fuckin', butt suckin', cunt lickin', masturbation
Ass fuckin', butt suckin', cunt lickin', masturbation
Ass fuckin', butt suckin', cunt lickin', masturbation
Ass fuckin', butt suckin', cunt lickin', masturbation

I wanna suck on all your toes, I wanna lick your pantyhose
Suck the cum out of your cunt, lick the sweat out of your rump
I wanna suck on all your toes, I wanna lick your pantyhose
Suck the cum out of your cunt, lick the sweat out of your rump

Ass fuckin', butt suckin', cunt lickin', masturbation
Ass fuckin', butt suckin', cunt lickin', masturbation
Ass fuckin', butt suckin', cunt lickin', masturbation
Ass fuckin', butt suckin', cunt lickin', masturbation

Ass fuckin', butt suckin', cunt lickin', masturbation
Ass fuckin', butt suckin', cunt lickin', masturbation
Ass fuckin', butt suckin', cunt lickin', masturbation
Ass fuckin', butt suckin', cunt lickin'

Wanna fuck you up the ass, lick the shit out of your crack
Stick it in until you bleed, stick it in your mouth until you can't breathe
I wanna lick on all your toes, I wanna suck your pantyhose
I wanna suck the cum from your cunt, I wanna lick your fucking rump

Ass fuckin', butt suckin', cunt lickin', masturbation
Ass fuckin', butt suckin', cunt lickin', masturbation


this should definately split you up but expect a lawsuit.

gg allin - i kill everything i fuck.

I'm infected with AIDS
I fuck every day
I kill everything I fuck

I'm infected with AIDS
I fuck every day
I kill everything I fuck

I fill you up with my disease
Contaminate you with deadly needs
My loaded cock is like a gun
I'm a walking time bomb killing everyone

DIE! I'm infected with AIDS
I fuck everyday
I kill everything I fuck

I'm infected with AIDS
I fuck everyday
I kill everything I fuck

Let me be your stiff hard fuck
Cram your cunt with poisonous cock
Your hairy cunt will be my aim
Deadly penetration is my game

DIE! I'm infected with AIDS
I fuck everyday

Drenched in my fluids you'll never know
I plant the seed of death untold
Before I die, I hope I do
Kill many more, as I've killed you

DIE! I'm infected with AIDS
I fuck everyday
I'm infected with AIDS
I fuck everyday
I'm infected with AIDS
I fuck everyday
I'm infected with AIDS


and this might just be the one..

ween - baby bitch

It's been a while since I've seen you smile
But now you've come back again
Came into the room and you saw my girl
And you asked her how long it's been
"A year" she said and you shook your head
Said "I'm surprised it's gone on that long"

Baby, Baby, Baby Bitch
For words I am at a loss
Baby, Baby, Baby Bitch
I'm better now please fuck off

What else you gonna say when while you're back
on your stay
Maybe something, maybe nothing, we'll see
It's just too bad, you're beautiful I guess
I wasn't for you and you weren't for me

Baby, Baby, Baby Bitch
Please slip back into yourself
Baby, Baby, Baby Bitch
Go conquer someone else

People say, "How beautiful, how sweet, how kind"
You're perfect, you've got nothing to hide
But I, for one, have seen the sun
And the bitch that you've locked up inside

Got fat, got angry, started hating myself
Wrote "Birthday Boy" for you babe
Now I'm skinny and sick and paranoid
Without a cent to my name

Baby, Baby, Baby Bitch
Fuck you, you stinkin' ass ho
Most beauty I've seen
you come from a dream
But I can't close my eyes anymore
No, I can't close my eyes anymore


 

BklynCannonball

pffffffffffttttttttttt...
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#9
Honestly, you guys need time apart before you can be friends. But if you insist:

50 Ways to Leave Your Lover – Paul Simon
It’s too Late – Carol King
Don’t Go Away Mad (Just Go Away) – Blondie
This Love – Pantera
Knoxville Girl – Nick Cave (though she’ll probably think you want to kill her)

The first two will absolutely get through to her.
 

Hater808

The hate still Shapes me
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#10
You should do the REM song you listed everybody hurts. But not cuz it's the best choice because it would be too funny. That song is hilarious, especially in this case. Me and my brothers used to play that anytime someone would start bitching about something.